May 26 2008

And A Fishy On The Trunk

Anna Lemma reports (and has been for some time) on a Ford Dealership radio ad that explicitly alienates Atheists, while pandering to an 86% Christian majority.

When the rapture sweeps the planet
I know Heaven’s my reward,
But for now my piece of paradise
I bought from Henry Ford

It’s a broken-down jalopy;
It’s a rusted piece of junk;
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk

Sure, it leaks a little oil,
And it doesn’t “turn”, but “lurch”,
Seven miles to the gallon
But it gets me to my church

You can hear me from a block away
And smell last weekend’s skunk,
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk

Got a brand-new bumper sticker
Saying “What Would Jesus Do?”
Now it’s holding up my tail light
With some duct tape and some glue

You can almost hear the “Kieffe and Sons”
In every “Rattle-Clunk”,
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk.

I saw a car that had a fish—
A Darwin fish, with legs!
I fixed it, with a wrecking bar
And half a dozen eggs

Don’t mess with me or with my God
You heathen, godless punk—
I’ve got Jesus on my dashboard
And a fishy on my trunk.


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  1. 1

    You’ve nailed it, as usual.

  2. 2

    Oh, yeah, totally nailed it. Is it scary or apropos that I heard it in my head sung with a twang to steel guitars? O.o

  3. 3

    Totally agree with mandydax – that’s just begging to be set to music and turned into a country classic!

  4. 4
    Maxwell's Demoness

    Hi Cuttlefish! We haven’t heard from you recently, we hope all is well. I thought you would like this recent news article- more evidence that cuttlefishies are smart! Embryonic Cuttlefish can learn!

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