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May 10 2008

Hang The Bastards!

In one of those internet polls we know and love so well, the StarTribune asks the musical question, “Did school officials react properly to the students who did not stand for the Pledge of Allegiance?”


As of this writing, 2399 people have voted that the punishment should have been more severe.

I hope I can presume to speak on their behalf.

How dare these children fail to stand!
This is the great and sacred Land
Of Freedom; They should all be sent
To prison as their punishment!
Good, decent folk, like you and me
Display our love of liberty
By joining in the chanting crowd
To pledge allegiance right out loud;
To fail to join the droning throng
Is unAmerican, and wrong!
These kids, these traitors to the flag
Just make me sick! They make me gag!
They should be whipped; they should be beaten,
Their entrails taken out and eaten!
They should be torn from limb to limb
For this unpatriotic whim!
This is my land! I have the right
To make them buckle to my might,
Conform to the majority
And say the pledge along with me!

America, the beautiful,
Your citizens are dutiful,
And constitutionality
Comes second to morality;
And if we trade democracy
For out-and-out theocracy
(It seems we are susceptible)
That’s perfectly acceptable.

While I’m in the majority
Don’t question its authority.

5 comments

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  1. 1
    Paul Mohr

    I am always impressed that you represent a rational view with an artistic flair. I think someone once said that ‘ The price of freedom is eternal vigilance ‘ I think that too many have looked away for too long.

  2. 2
    eliza ann

    I think you nailed it perfectly!

  3. 3
    mothwentbad

    Keep them pledging, Cathcart!

  4. 4
    Darren

    “While I’m in the majorityDon’t question its authority.”Those last two lines are very powerful, great one Cuttle, keep it up!

  5. 5
    Anfractuous

    Of course you may speak for the rest of us Cuttles;You’re morally far up above us.You must speak God’s mind or we’ll be in such muddles.The devil will into sin shove us.Your moral indignance is quite justified.God chose you to witness about it.Authority never can be floutified.So obviously you should shout it!God says to be vigilant, steadfast and pious,Those moral offences chastising.If we are not diligent God will deep fry us;Let’s stone those damned kids for not rising!

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