If Chuck Norris


Well, that makes a nice summary of everything I fear and hate.

If I were elected president I would Tattoo an American flag with the words, “In God we trust,” on the forehead of every atheist.” – Chuck Norris

It’s got it all – sadism, compulsory nationalism, compulsory theism, total ignorance of US history, even recent history, and bigotry toward atheists. Ok not quite all, there’s no gay-bashing or feminist-bashing, but it’s almost all.

Comments

  1. Spooky Tran says

    That’s a meme so it’s somewhat suspect. Is there any source as to when and where he said that?

    I mean, he endorsed Huckabee and is an evangelical ahole, we know that. But we should factcheck that one.

  2. Josh, Official SpokesGay says

    Spooky Tran—Why do you assume the blog proprietress has not checked its provenance? That’s a legitimate question. I don’t understand why you made that assumption.

    Also, “we” can so very easily fact-check that it’s surprising to me you didn’t. Why, it took only one Google search to find this statement as part of Chuck Norris’ own writing, submitted to Creator’s Syndicate. Check behind me. You’ll see how easy it is.

  3. stewart says

    I interviewed him more than 20 years ago and he gave me a ride back to Jerusalem from the studio in his limo. What would he have done to me if he’d known?

  4. Spooky Tran says

    Josh, why should I assume she has? There is no source provided. Memes go viral and misinformation is spread. It happens all the time.

    In my opinion, it is the responsibility of the messenger to check the veracity of the information provided.

  5. Josh, Official SpokesGay says

    Spooky Tran: I’ll drop my snotty tone (really). It irks me that you thought the default assumption was that Ophelia had not, and that it was obvious to everyone that your assumption was the reasonable default. I think that’s contestable. Why? Because I know Ophelia and have been reading her for years.

    The way you phrased it —you may not have meant this, but please understand why it would read this way—sounded imperious and way too hasty a judgment.

    You *did* assume that Ophelia hadn’t checked it. I’m not making that up. That’s what a reasonable reader takes away from your first post. Can you see that, even if that’s not what you intended to convey?

  6. says

    Josh, that doesn’t really matter. Citing your source should always be the default. Not everyone who might be reading this is going to be familiar with Ophelia. Beyond that people do make mistakes and sometimes forget to check sources.

  7. says

    Here’s a particularly reliable source for you, Conservapedia – so you can’t say I’m relying on a sympathetic source!

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Chuck_Norris

    Politics and Religion

    He has written about the vast atheist conspiracy to outlaw Christianity in the United States, [7][8] the first step of which is the acceptance of atheists in our government:
    “Though the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered 45 percent of us would support an atheist for president. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of society is alive and well.”[7]
    To thwart this menace of secularization, Norris has jokingly promised that if elected President he would “tattoo an American flag with the words ‘In God we trust’ on the forehead of every atheist,” “require every member of Congress work out on the Total Gym 15 minutes each day,” and “deport all Liberals.” [9]

  8. Shatterface says

    He has written about the vast atheist conspiracy to outlaw Christianity in the United States,

    Shit, he’s onto us? Who blabbed?

    “Though the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered 45 percent of us would support an atheist for president. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of society is alive and well.”

    45% is shockingly low for a country in the developed world.

    I agree with the 15 minute workout though, if only to ensure a rapid turnover in Congress.

  9. Donnie says

    Here is the direct source: http://www.wnd.com/2007/06/42010/. It is a satirical post used to advertise his new, upcoming book (2007). However, the implications of all his ‘satirical’ Presidential initiatives, including the tattooing, are scary in their dehumanization of people.

    he, ‘satirically’ proposes to eliminate the Secret Service for the 8-years that he is in office because,…”why would I need them?”

    Cut spending by dismissing the Secret Service, at least for my eight years in office (why would I need them?).

    he is a deranged individual stuck on himself.

  10. Josh, Official SpokesGay says

    Matthew Ostergren—It mattered to me because my complaint was different from what you seem to believe it was. My complaint was that Spooky Tran assumed Ophelia had not herself verified the quote’s provenance. I would not, and did not, complain that anyone asked Ophelia to cite a source. That’s a reasonable, standard request.

    I was reacting to something different: the assumption that the writer herself had not done so and satisfied herself of its genuineness before posting it.

    That may seem unimportant to you, but it did matter to me. You don’t have to agree with my concern, but please understand what that concern actually was.

  11. Donnie says

    Notes:

    1. I should have said egomaniac in lieu of deranged
    2. Yes, I see a level of juvenile humour. The same juvenile humour that allowed me to watch “Beavis and Butthead” back in the day. I have since developed a mature sense of humour that does not laugh at the dehumanization of people.

  12. says

    I can’t actually be elected president. But if, say, I were appointed Secretary-General of the UN, I’d probably consider Chuck Norris every bit the useless, talentless bigot I do now. If and when I had time to think about it…

    But geez, dude. Compulsory tattoos, identifying a hated minority… I bet that’s a totally original idea. Chuck, baby, if, in fact, you can actually type and read, you might want to check, though, just case that’s already been done somewhere or ‘nother…

  13. Spooky Tran says

    If I was mistaken and Ophelia is offended then I will apologize.

    But this was never about Ophelia, it was about the MEME. Memes are practically engineered to be short, powerful, easy to post, easy to share, and almost universally without attribution. As Matthew said, anybody can make a mistake. Our community in particular must be vigilant. That is why “we” should factcheck. And we should not assume that a veteran blogger cannot err.

  14. Reality_based_community says

    I hadn’t mentally prepared myself to view a pic of Chuck, and threw up a little in my mouth.

    These belligerent know-nothing folks we the same blindly patriotic (if that doesn’t do disservice to the word) crowd that, during the run up to the Iraq invasion, were boycotting and burning Dixie Chicks records and calling everyone who expressed the slightest doubt about the trumped up bullshit “evidence” coming from the White House…let’s see…I seem to remember that “traitors” was used…”left-coasters”….”fifth-columnists” etc. In fact, exactly the same attitude as expressed in the meme.

    Now that we have some hindsight on that dirty war and how disastrous it turned it (not least to the Iraqis themselves) I’ll be waiting for my apology. If anyone knows Chuck, I ask you to forward my contact info so Chuck can deliver the apology personally.

  15. Blanche Quizno says

    But this was never about Ophelia, it was about the MEME. Memes are practically engineered to be short, powerful, easy to post, easy to share, and almost universally without attribution.

    The fact that Chuckles himself started such a meme reduces his already-abysmally-low standing IMO.

    It surprises me to realize there was a “lower” to go to, in fact.

  16. John Morales says

    Blanche, @22,

    The fact that Chuckles himself started such a meme reduces his already-abysmally-low standing IMO.

    Ahem. He was using it, not originating it.

    (Like Arnie as the Governator)

  17. Omar Puhleez says

    I may be wrong, but Chuck might have a had time with the law, Bill of Rights and the Constitution even if he was elected President. Trying to tattoo anything on anyone against their will might get him impeached on his very first day in office.

    As the career of R Nixon reminds us: the President is not above the law.

  18. Omar Puhleez says

    Actually, Chuck might lead by example, and tattoo himself. Could start a craze.
    .
    Then again, I heard a story of young enthusiast who bought himself a home tattoo kit, and tried to tattoo .’brain’ on his forehead while standing in front of a mirror.
    .
    Go figure. But it’s the thought that counts.

  19. MarkTheSnark says

    But I thought Obama was the Antichrist, Chuck!

    “And he causes all, the small and the great, and the rich and the poor, and the free men and the slaves, to be given a mark on their right hand or on their forehead,” — Revelations 13:16

  20. rorschach says

    There is a huge body of evidence from psychological studies that the guy who “looked” the most competent to voters, in particular uninformed voters who watch TV a lot, would be the one to win an election, this has been shown for US congress, governor elections as well as elections in Finland and EU countries.

    This is why people even consider listening to people like Rick Perry or Norris the dimwit. There seem to be evolutionary tricks our brains play on us to facilitate voting for/supporting those who come over as competent by ways of their sceletal structures, jaw bones and body language.

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