Chris Clarke has 10 reasons you should stop being so irrationally upset about your hair being repeatedly set on fire.
6. Because some people prefer their hair bright red, and they deserve respect and not shaming.
7. Because that man’s head is cold and he says that if someone set his hair on fire he would take it as a compliment.
8. Because if we just start putting out every fire we see without going through a calm and measured deliberative process in which we consider all the facts at hand, we will eventually be unable to cook food or smelt useful alloys.
9. Because you really ought to be used to it by now. It’s just the way life works in an oxygenated atmosphere.
10. Because my hair has never been set on fire.
11. Because it’s just disagreement.
12. Because it’s just criticism.
13. Because there have been very good caricaturists.
14. Because if you don’t like it all you have to do is stop writing on the internet.
I don’t have hair so obviously this can’t be a problem for anyone else.
Fire is good!
Where’s Steersman or prodegtion or any number of other lackwits, when you need someone to quote the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of ‘fire’ as part of a ten paragraph filibuster dismissing the very notion that your hair is being burnt? (Complete with footnotes with the URLs made non-linking.)
Oh god not the footnotes! Don’t mention the footnotes!!
The footnotes are the worst.
Fire is a beautiful and natural thing. You radicals are just anti-fire.