Suck out that moisture

How about the Zimbabwean senator from the Movement for Democratic Change who thinks the way to prevent AIDS is to vacuum all the disgusting goo out of women?

He also thinks they should stop taking showers so that they’ll be too smelly to fuck, and shave their heads so that they’ll be too bald ditto, but the disgusting goo idea is more sciency than that.

He also gave an interview in which he stated that “Women have got more moisture in their organs as compared to men so there is need to research on how to deal with that moisture because it is conducive for bacteria breeding. There should be a way to suck out that moisture.”

Yes indeedy.  There should be a way to suck it out, and a way to make it mandatory for women to have it sucked out. Sounds kind of rapey, but think  of the upside – for the first time in human history, women who aren’t all slimy and disgusting. Booyah.


  1. EmbraceYourInnerCrone says

    Oh FFS the level of weapons grade stupid from this senator is just painful. That he is apparently an elected official in Zimbabwe which gives him a platform to spread his misinformation is frightening…..

  2. Sercee says

    I think the phrase “elected official in Zimbabwe” may be a little misleading…

  3. EmbraceYourInnerCrone says

    Possibly, all I could find in the time I currently have to look was this:

    “The current Senate, formed following elections held on 26 November 2005, has a total of 66 members. 50 members (5 from each province) are directly elected in single member constituencies using the simple majority (or First-past-the-post) system. The President appoints 6 additional members and the remaining 10 seats are held by traditional chiefs who are chosen in separate elections. Twenty-one women (20 elected and 1 appointed) occupy seats in the Senate. Edna Madzongwe is the current Speaker of the Senate”

    (And since its Wikipedia you do have to take it with a grain of salt)

    Although given the level of scientific knowledge of some of the current US senators I would not have been surprised to hear something similar coming from one of them….

  4. Mattir says

    Apparently there’s a sub-Saharan African cultural practice in which “dry sex” is considered desirable and women will go to great lengths to dry out their vaginal tissues. The really ironic thing is that this makes HIV transmission MORE likely.

    Sigh. But at least this guy didn’t make this up all on his own.

  5. catwhisperer says

    Soooo…. mummification is the answer to AIDS? Well damn, why hasn’t anyone else thought of that!

  6. chrisj says


    The recent electoral history of Zimbabwe is full of fair and unbiased events like the arrest and torture of the opposition leader, refusal of medical treatment to opposition candidates, government-organised violence outside polling stations in opposition-dominated areas, and of course the murder of senior opposition officials by the state security services.

    The wikipedia page you mention has a set of links down the right-hand side, including the 2007 and 2008/9 “political crises”; these contain a fair bit of detail, along with links to plentiful further discussion.

    There certainly are some honestly-elected politicians there, and an MDC member is almost certainly one of them, so I think Sercee is on the wrong track in this case, but election in Zimbabwe is at least some of the time a question of “election”.

  7. Josh Slocum says

    Jesus Christ, the derangement has no bottom. It’s a “thing” for women to take it dry? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  8. says

    @Josh, #8:

    That is… Horrifying. Mind officially blown, these… Men are… Wrong. Utterly wrong. It is not possible to be more wrong about sex without involving (non consensual) spikes.

  9. David Hart says

    “cultural practice in which “dry sex” is considered desirable”

    While I can only assume that that would be extremely uncomfortable for a woman, speaking as a man I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t find it much fun either. There’s a reason you can go to a chemist and buy lubricant.

  10. GordonWillis says

    May I commend to the senator the immediate adoption of any or all of the following courses of action, which are calculated to ameliorate his mental distress and put him out of our misery:

    1) intensive psychiatric treatment
    2) Benperidol
    3) castration.

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