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May 02 2012

Do we get overtime?

I didn’t know May Day had been rejigged to be Loyalty Day. It happened in the Ford administration, I’m told. Maybe something to do with being the totally unelected president.

Anyway, it has, so belated happy Loyalty Day. Did you have a Loyalty cake? Or a Loyalty turkey? Or Loyalty fireworks? What does one do for Loyalty Day, anyway? We know what we do for May Day: we hit the streets; but Loyalty Day, not so much.

Obama wishes us a happy Loyalty Day.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim May 1, 2012, as Loyalty Day. This Loyalty Day, I call upon all the people of the United States to join in support of this national observance, whether by displaying the flag of the United States or pledging allegiance to the Republic for which it stands.

Oh, I see, that’s what you do for Loyalty Day. You display the flag or you pledge allegiance. You could probably do both, although he makes it one or the other.

Yeah. Prayer Day and Loyalty Day. No thanks.

21 comments

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  1. 1
    'Tis Himself

    Don’t people know what the First of May really means?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-77ElyvRxI Probably NSFW.

  2. 2
    Randomfactor

    On Loyalty Day you have to do it ONLY with the one you’re married to. No matter who’s your favorite lay.

    Killjoys…

  3. 3
    Ophelia Benson

    On Loyalty Day you have to cheer for ONLY your very own chosen football team; no whoring after strange gods in the form of a team from some other moth-eaten syphilitic city or neighborhood.

  4. 4
    BrianX

    Considering that it was Labor Day in most of the world, there’s something… distasteful about this.

  5. 5
    AJ Milne

    On Loyalty Day, you have to stand by your man, dance with the one who brung you, and be true to your school.

    (Seriously, there’s some really shitty music associated with this holiday.)

    More seriously still: Loyalty Day? What?

    That’s not just obnoxious. That’s actually kinda appalling.

  6. 6
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    Ah, the one day every year children dress in their Sunday finest and parade door to door offering loyalty oaths to sign. Provided you can produce the long form of your birth certificate or otherwise prove your legal citizenship status.

  7. 7
    Ian MacDougall

    “…I call upon all the people of the United States to join in support of this national observance…”

    I thought that was done on the fourth of July.

  8. 8
    Eamon Knight

    The very name creeps me out. What’s next — Two Minute Hates?

  9. 9
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    @Eamon Knight, #8:

    It is called the “right wing talk show”, it lasts more than two minutes, and attendance isn’t mandatory.

    Yet.

  10. 10
    Storms

    Geez, how like every dictatorship on earth?? How about we be different in the USA? How about Recognition day, where we applaud how other countries are doing it better?

    But really “Tis Himself” got it right. Lets go a-Maying!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg4YrOlAkds

  11. 11
    Enzyme

    OK, it’s probably a wildly unfair caricature, but to an outsider, the idea that there has to be a proclamation issued before Americans’ll fly the flag and swear allegiance and all that stuff seems… Well, let’s just say that there appeared to be a hell of a lot of that sort of thing happening before.

    I dunno. America fascinates me, but I can’t begin to understand it.

  12. 12
    sailor1031

    For some reason Loyalty Day made me think of Catch-22….So here’s a short selection of some other days, weeks and even months to celebrate between now and end of the year:

    American Bike Month, National Duckling Month, Mother Goose Day, Mother’s Day, Kite Day, Circus Day, Donald Duck’s Birthday, Power of a Smile Day, Father’s Day, Flag Day, First Day of Summer, National Ice Cream Month, Independence Day, Teddy Bear’s Picnic Day, Moon Day, Parent’s Day, National Watermelon Day, National Friendship Day, Roller Coaster Day, National Aviation Day, National Smile Week, Better Breakfast Month, Library Card Sign-Up Month, Labor Day, National Grandparents Day, First Day of Fall, National Dog Week, National Popcorn Popping Month, National Apple Month, Columbus Day, Farmer’s Day, Halloween, International Drum Month, Peanut Butter Lover’s Month, Sandwich Day, Hug-a-Bear Day, Thanksgiving Day, Safe Toys and Gifts Month, Wright Brother’s Day, First Day of Winter, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa

    Somehow one day for “loyalty” doesn’t seem so creepy any more. America is indeed fascinating and No, I don’t understand it either!

  13. 13
    Enzyme

    You have a national duckling month? Awwwwww!
    (Suddlenly, Infinite Jest makes a bit more sense. Not much, but a bit.

  14. 14
    Ophelia Benson

    Enzyme, oh, I don’t understand this kind of thing any better than a non-American does.

  15. 15
    Godless Heathen

    We have months/weeks/days for EVERYTHING. And it’s awesome. Well, sort of.

    Library Card Sign-Up Month is one of my favorite “should this really have it’s own month?” months because it’s actually useful.

  16. 16
    Sqrat

    May 1 was rejiggered to “Americanization Day” in 1921, towards the end of the First Red Scare. It was then further rejiggered to Loyalty Day in 1958, in the aftermath of the Second Red Scare (aka the McCarthy era), when it was made an official national holiday by act of Congress. See 36 USC § 115.

    Section (c) of this law reads as follows:

    “Proclamation.— The President is requested to issue a proclamation—

    (1) calling on United States Government officials to display the flag of the United States on all Government buildings on Loyalty Day; and
    (2) inviting the people of the United States to observe Loyalty Day with appropriate ceremonies in schools and other suitable places.”

  17. 17
    Sqrat

    Library Card Sign-Up Month is one of my favorite “should this really have it’s own month?” months because it’s actually useful.

    Alien Registration Day was always a good excuse to dress up in costume and go down to the post office.

  18. 18
    The Ridger

    And Eisenhower called it “Law Day”. The US has been down on May Day / Labor Day waaaaay before Obama.

  19. 19
    Ophelia Benson

    Yup; I said that before I said anything else.

  20. 20
    kevinalexander

    Next time you get up to speak try this: Ask for a show of hands ‘Who has a job here? Who gets up in the morning and goes to work? Who gets a pay check?’
    Chances are most people will put up their hands. Now try this: ‘How many here are working class?’
    Watch the hands go down. You might even get a nervous laugh.
    How the hell did they manage to get us to serve and admire the economic parasites while despising ourselves?

  21. 21
    Brian M

    Well…other countries name their days after amazingly minor Orthodox or Catholic saints.

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