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Tag Archive: men

Jun 20 2014

Your “Jokes” About Sexist Harassment

[Content note: sexual & online harassment] This was originally a Facebook post I made last night. A lot of people asked me to make it public and shareable because they’ve been looking for the words to express the same thing. I decided to repost it here without editing it, since people liked it this way. …

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Jun 16 2014

Not All Men™ Categorize People Into Unhelpful Categories

[Content note: sexual assault] Let’s talk about Not All Men™, and specifically about the disconnect between people who say “not all men!” and people who maintain that this is a useless thing to say. One bitterly funny and perhaps illuminating meme I’ve seen over the past few weeks goes something like this: You say not all …

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Jun 04 2014

They Have To See It With Their Own Eyes: Men and Violence Against Women

[Content note: gendered violence, sexual assault, sexual harassment] It’s been about a week and a half since Elliot Rodger shot six people and himself in Isla Vista, and the discussions are starting to die down. As they always do, as I knew they would. Plenty of men have authoritatively told me that misogyny is not …

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May 26 2014

About That “Laughing at Male Victims of Violence” Video

[Content note: domestic/intimate partner violence] In response to the Rodger shooting, which I wrote about in my previous post, some people have been sharing this video, which I’ve seen captioned as “Watch what happens when a man abuses a woman in public and vice versa.” The video is a sort of public experiment. A hidden …

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May 24 2014

Masculinity, Violence, and Bandaid Solutions

[Content note: violence, guns, mass shootings, misogyny] We’re all familiar with the pattern now: a solitary young white man goes on a shooting rampage. People die. The media describes him as “crazy,” “disturbed,” “troubled,” “insane.” Everyone collectively bemoans the failings of our mental healthcare system, presuming that its failure is relevant here. People with mental …

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May 05 2014

On Women Who Lie About Having Boyfriends

[Content note: sexual harassment and assault] Lately one of those articles has been going around again about how women should stop saying “I have a boyfriend” to deflect unwanted male attention. I’m not going to link to it, because I don’t want to make my entire post about that one article. I’ve seen that argument …

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Feb 15 2014

Shifting The Blame For Sexual Harassment (Or, Damn Those Mysterious Women And Their Weird Mystery Feelings)

I’ve written before about how it’s actually not very difficult to tell the difference between flirting and sexual harassment. I’d like to get at this issue from a slightly different perspective by talking about the purposeful obfuscation of women’s* desires and boundaries that I often hear as a defense of those accused of sexual harassment. …

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Jan 16 2014

Having To See It To Believe It: Men and Online Sexual Harassment

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[Content note: sexual harassment] Jezebel recounts the tale of Reddit user OKCThrowaway22221, who pretended to be a woman on OkCupid and was so dismayed, disappointed, and disgusted with the messages he received that he shut it down after two hours. OKCThrowaway22221 is pretty clear about the fact that, at the outset, he did not truly …

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Aug 03 2013

Strawmanning Rape Culture (Part One)

[Content note: sexual assault] Rape culture is a very difficult concept for many people to understand, perhaps because, like many sociological constructs, it works in such a way as to make itself invisible. Understanding rape culture, especially if you are someone who isn’t affected by it very much, requires a keen attention to detail and …

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Jul 03 2013

Confession: I Basically Never Ask People Out

Every progressive has a traditional streak in them. It might be little, it might be huge, it might be a secret, it might be totally obvious. Mine is this: I do not take initiative when it comes to sex and romance. Save for some occasional exceptions, I don’t ask people out on dates, I don’t …

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