I’m at the University of Chicago’s Sex Week, where I’ve seen a bunch of great talks, including one by Cliff Pervocracy! So I have sex on my mind (well, as usual). I often write about very well-intentioned principles or campaigns that have blind spots and negative implications. Here’s another example. “Consent is sexy” is one …
Tag Archive: consent
Dec 05 2012
Victoria’s Secret Doesn’t Actually “Love Consent,” But It Should
This morning I discovered that Victoria’s Secret has a new line of underwear. It’s called “Pink Loves Consent” and features slogans like “Let’s talk about sex,” “No means no,” “Ask first,” and “Consent is sexy.” The models on the website have all kinds of different body types and they’re not all white. I immediately loved …
Tags: business, communication, consent, fashion, marketing, rape culture, satire, sex, victoria's secret
Nov 15 2012
“Women just need to learn to say no.”
Every time people talk about coercive sex–you know, the kind where someone manipulates someone into having sex with them as opposed to physically forcing them–the concern trolls come out in droves.
“You can’t expect men* to only ask once!” they prattle. “Women* just need to learn how to keep saying no! It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there! If you don’t learn how to stand up for yourself you’ll get screwed over!”
Oct 15 2012
Guess What: Rape’s Not Funny When the Victim is a Man, Either
I know Jezebel is low-hanging fruit, but I can’t resist picking apart their new “Sexytime Dilemmas” column and its endorsement of sexual assault, which apparently is okay when the target is a man. One of the letter-writers wants to know how to get a guy to try anal play. Jezebel’s “sexpert” responds (TW for sexual …
Sep 09 2012
Consent Does Not "Ruin the Moment"
People who oppose sensible things like anti-harassment policies at conferences keep bringing up the same tired myths about dating, sex, and romance: that it’s very important to have “mystery” and that making things clear and explicit “takes away the fun” and, worst of all, that asking for consent “would ruin the moment.” I encounter this …
Tags: consent, harassment, rape, sex, sexual assault, sexual harassment
Sep 09 2012
Consent Does Not “Ruin the Moment”
People who oppose sensible things like anti-harassment policies at conferences keep bringing up the same tired myths about dating, sex, and romance: that it’s very important to have “mystery” and that making things clear and explicit “takes away the fun” and, worst of all, that asking for consent “would ruin the moment.” I encounter this …
Tags: consent, harassment, rape, sex, sexual assault, sexual harassment
Aug 22 2012
Rape and Activism Are Not Mutually Exclusive: The Case Against Assange
It’s disturbing that the debate about Julian Assange and the rape charges against him has taken on such a black-and-white quality. Either Assange did a terrible thing with WikiLeaks and ought to be tried for treason and is a vile rapist to boot, or WikiLeaks was an important and necessary project and Assange was right …
Mar 20 2012
On Coercion and a Different Social Ethic
One of my favorite bloggers once wrote a post about the idea of “consent culture” as an alternative to rape culture. After describing various ways to help create a culture of consent surrounding sex, she brilliantly expands the idea to social interactions in general: I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the …
About the Author
Freethought Blogs
- A Citizen of Earth
- A Million Gods
- Ace of Clades
- Alethian Worldview
- Almost Diamonds
- Ashley Miller
- Biodork
- Black Skeptics
- Blag Hag
- Brute Reason
- Butterflies and Wheels
- Comradde PhysioProffe
- Dispatches from the Culture Wars
- En Tequila Es Verdad
- Greta Christina's Blog
- Heteronormative Patriarchy for Men
- Lousy Canuck
- Mano Singham
- Maryam Namazie
- Near-Earth Object
- No Country for Women
- NonStampCollector
- Pharyngula
- Reasonable Doubts
- Richard Carrier Blogs
- Rock Beyond Belief
- Sincerely, Natalie Reed
- The Atheist Experience
- The Crommunist Manifesto
- The Digital Cuttlefish
- The Zingularity
- This Week in Christian Nationalism
- Token Skeptic
- YEMMYnisting
- Zinnia Jones
PostsCommentsArchives
Recent Posts
- [#wiscfi liveblog] Secularism: A Right and Demand of Women Worldwide
- [#wiscfi liveblog] The History of Atheism, Feminism, and the Science of Brains
- [#wiscfi liveblog] Why the Lost History of Secular Women Matters Today
- [#wiscfi liveblog] Sexism and Religion: Can the Knot Be Untied?
- [#wiscfi liveblog] The Mattering Map: Religion, Humanism, and Moral Progress
- [#wiscfi liveblog] Faith-Based Pseudo-Science
- Occasional Link Roundup
- “But I’m a man and I don’t feel like I have any privilege.”
- [meta] On Tone, the Policing Thereof, and What It Is I Do Here
- Richwine and the Inherent Goodness of Intelligence
Archives
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- June 2010
- February 2010
- November 2009
- October 2009
- August 2009
FTB RecentFTB Active
FTB Recent
- Dancing Google Android by Comradde PhysioProffe
- [#wiscfi liveblog] Secularism: A Right and Demand of Women Worldwide by Miri, Professional Fun-Ruiner
- Women In Secularism 2 - Maryam Namazie liveblog #wiscfi by Jason Thibeault
- Thinking about heaven, hell, purgatory, and other ways to waste your time by Mano Singham
- [#wiscfi liveblog] The History of Atheism, Feminism, and the Science of Brains by Miri, Professional Fun-Ruiner
- Girls: Missing Victims of Religious Sexual Abuse? by Stephanie Zvan
FTB Active
- [Lounge #418] by PZ Myers
- Open letter to Corey Keplinger by Russell Glasser
- Is misandry simply misogyny in disguise? by Ally Fogg
- "But I'm a man and I don't feel like I have any privilege." by Miri, Professional Fun-Ruiner
- More documenting the harassment by Ophelia Benson
- Leave Dan Brown Alone! by Ed Brayton
Categories
Tag Cloud
Brute Reason Tumblr
- "It’s not just the internet. And we can’t push the problem aside with a wave of our hands and an..."“It’s not just the internet. And we can’t push the problem aside with a wave of our hands and an offhand comment of “Oh, that’s just how the internet is. Don’t you know better than to go to reddit?” For many women, reddit is not an isolated internet thing. It’s the community that we have to deal with face to face, day in and day out. So yes, we need to chang […]
- "I am one of the lucky ones. I managed to turn my history of science and philosophy degree into..."“I am one of the lucky ones. I managed to turn my history of science and philosophy degree into graduate education in a semi-practical field. I’m not too worried about my employment opportunities once I finish my PhD. But I have friends who are suffering. They are being bounced around between unpaid internships, or desperately sending out resumes, or stuck w […]
- "The big deal comes in when homeless people are being exploited to prove a point. Many homeless..."“The big deal comes in when homeless people are being exploited to prove a point. Many homeless people are already widely disenfranchised and lacking a platform to be heard or to get access to the resources they need. By attempting to make a brand look bad by associating it with homelessness, the message is that homeless people are so gross, dirty, shameful […]
- "What can I say? Northwestern, with all its issues with diversity and inclusion, has led me to be..."“What can I say? Northwestern, with all its issues with diversity and inclusion, has led me to be more thoughtful in my own words and actions. It’s made me more aware of the way we put each other down and perpetuate stereotypes without even realizing. I know that I can’t change that aspect of the world or even that aspect of Northwestern overnight. But I can […]
- "As long as conservatives are inclined to think that Mr Richwine was “bullied” and..."“As long as conservatives are inclined to think that Mr Richwine was “bullied” and “lynched” for his brave empiricism, instead of having been sunk by the repugnant prejudice exposed by the shoddiness of his work, non-white voters will continue to flock to a party less enthusiastically receptive to the possibility of their inferiority.” - Racism and immigrati […]
Contact!

Two things to keep in mind:
1. I am bad at answering lengthy emails. Sorry!
2. I may ask you for permission to blog about our correspondence. However, if you are harassing/abusive/trollish, then I no longer have to ask you for permission. Proceed with caution!
Mostly Feminism
- Bitch
- Blue Milk
- Can Be Bitter
- Crates and Ribbons
- Feministe
- Feministing
- Geek Feminism
- Jezebel
- Manboobz
- More Than Men
- Ms. Magazine Blog
- Pandagon
- Role/Reboot
- The Beheld
- The Crunk Feminist Collective
- The Feminist Anthropologist
- There Is No Fear In Love
- Timid Atheist
- To Feel The Stubborn Ounces Of My Weight
- Undercover In The Suburbs
- Wayfaring Feminist
- Wild Feminist Appears




Recent Comments