Today’s my blogathon for the Secular Student Alliance! I’ll be posting every hour starting now until 6 PM central. Don’t forget to donate! To start, you get a rant! Sometimes I wish I’d kept my career plans a big secret. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t constantly be having conversations that go like this: Me: …
Tag Archive: communication
Mar 20 2013
How (Not) to Respond When People Change Their Minds
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the process of changing one’s mind. For those of us who like to try to persuade people, it’s important to think about that process and how it happens and how to facilitate it, but even someone who doesn’t spend most of their free time yelling on the Internet …
Mar 14 2013
Does Telling People to “Think Positive” Actually Help? An Informal Survey and Some Protips
Positive thinking is the bane of my existence. Not because I can’t do it, but because I’ve so often been exhorted to do it in the most unhelpful of ways. I’m someone who prefers to talk mostly about the neutral or negative aspects of my life to friends and family because I don’t want to …
Jan 28 2013
How To Not Be An Asshole To Immigrants
Growing up as a first-generation immigrant in the suburban Midwest is weird. I was often the only person my classmates knew who had been born in another country, who didn’t have American citizenship, who spoke a language other than English or Spanish fluently, who wasn’t a Christian. I think people often unintentionally treated me as …
Dec 22 2012
How To Make Your Social Spaces More Welcoming To Shy, Socially Anxious, or Introverted People
Social interaction is hard for many people for many different reasons. Plenty has already been written on how these people can change themselves or learn how to better cope with social situations, so I have little interest in rehashing that. What I really want to discuss is how others can set up their social spaces …
Dec 05 2012
Victoria’s Secret Doesn’t Actually “Love Consent,” But It Should
This morning I discovered that Victoria’s Secret has a new line of underwear. It’s called “Pink Loves Consent” and features slogans like “Let’s talk about sex,” “No means no,” “Ask first,” and “Consent is sexy.” The models on the website have all kinds of different body types and they’re not all white. I immediately loved …
Nov 24 2012
There Is No Universal Definition Of “Cheating”
Every time I read a women’s website or magazine these days, I come upon a headline that demands to know, “IS THIS CHEATING?!?!” Is sending flirty Facebook messages to someone else cheating? Is sending them nude pics cheating? Is flirting cheating? Is there a chance you could actually be cheating on your boyfriend and not even realize it?
Oct 26 2012
Living With Depression: Openness
Earlier I decided to write a series of posts about depression beyond the DSM diagnosis. The first post was about trust. Here’s the second. Throughout my life, I have been exposed to two diametrically opposed views on openness–how much people should share with their partners, friends, and acquaintances about themselves. The first view, which my family taught …
Sep 24 2012
On Taking People’s Word For It (Or, When Not to Argue)
“You’re not really depressed, you just get sad sometimes.” “You’re not really a lesbian, you’ve just had some bad experiences with men.” “You’re not really an atheist, you’re just questioning your faith. You’ll find God again.” Why do people say these things? Everyone I ask seems to have a story about a friend or family …
Sep 18 2012
How to Have Sex Like They Do in the Movies
My recent post on consent got me thinking about how open communication about sex isn’t just important because it establishes consent, but also because it’s what makes sex great. A man meets a woman–it’s always a man and a woman. He is tall and handsome–she, thin and beautiful. He cracks a witty pickup line with …
About the Author
Brute Reason Tumblr
- "It’s not just the internet. And we can’t push the problem aside with a wave of our hands and an..."“It’s not just the internet. And we can’t push the problem aside with a wave of our hands and an offhand comment of “Oh, that’s just how the internet is. Don’t you know better than to go to reddit?” For many women, reddit is not an isolated internet thing. It’s the community that we have to deal with face to face, day in and day out. So yes, we need to chang […]
- "I am one of the lucky ones. I managed to turn my history of science and philosophy degree into..."“I am one of the lucky ones. I managed to turn my history of science and philosophy degree into graduate education in a semi-practical field. I’m not too worried about my employment opportunities once I finish my PhD. But I have friends who are suffering. They are being bounced around between unpaid internships, or desperately sending out resumes, or stuck w […]
- "The big deal comes in when homeless people are being exploited to prove a point. Many homeless..."“The big deal comes in when homeless people are being exploited to prove a point. Many homeless people are already widely disenfranchised and lacking a platform to be heard or to get access to the resources they need. By attempting to make a brand look bad by associating it with homelessness, the message is that homeless people are so gross, dirty, shameful […]
- "What can I say? Northwestern, with all its issues with diversity and inclusion, has led me to be..."“What can I say? Northwestern, with all its issues with diversity and inclusion, has led me to be more thoughtful in my own words and actions. It’s made me more aware of the way we put each other down and perpetuate stereotypes without even realizing. I know that I can’t change that aspect of the world or even that aspect of Northwestern overnight. But I can […]
- "As long as conservatives are inclined to think that Mr Richwine was “bullied” and..."“As long as conservatives are inclined to think that Mr Richwine was “bullied” and “lynched” for his brave empiricism, instead of having been sunk by the repugnant prejudice exposed by the shoddiness of his work, non-white voters will continue to flock to a party less enthusiastically receptive to the possibility of their inferiority.” - Racism and immigrati […]
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Two things to keep in mind:
1. I am bad at answering lengthy emails. Sorry!
2. I may ask you for permission to blog about our correspondence. However, if you are harassing/abusive/trollish, then I no longer have to ask you for permission. Proceed with caution!
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