Quantcast

Category Archive: unsolicited advice

Sep 09 2012

Consent Does Not "Ruin the Moment"

People who oppose sensible things like anti-harassment policies at conferences keep bringing up the same tired myths about dating, sex, and romance: that it’s very important to have “mystery” and that making things clear and explicit “takes away the fun” and, worst of all, that asking for consent “would ruin the moment.” I encounter this …

Continue reading »

Sep 09 2012

Consent Does Not “Ruin the Moment”

People who oppose sensible things like anti-harassment policies at conferences keep bringing up the same tired myths about dating, sex, and romance: that it’s very important to have “mystery” and that making things clear and explicit “takes away the fun” and, worst of all, that asking for consent “would ruin the moment.” I encounter this …

Continue reading »

Sep 04 2012

You're a Racist

And a sexist, and probably a homophobe, too. But it’s okay, so am I. In fact, research shows that almost everyone shows signs of prejudiced attitudes. The Implicit Association Test, a psychological test designed to measure the strength of subconscious associations that people have, suggests that even people who openly profess not to be racist …

Continue reading »

Sep 04 2012

You’re a Racist

And a sexist, and probably a homophobe, too. But it’s okay, so am I. In fact, research shows that almost everyone shows signs of prejudiced attitudes. The Implicit Association Test, a psychological test designed to measure the strength of subconscious associations that people have, suggests that even people who openly profess not to be racist …

Continue reading »

Aug 03 2012

"Don't Feed the Trolls": Reexamining a Tired Maxim

Allow me to get meta here for a moment. I’ve noticed that a very common response to nasty internet comments is to repeat the mantra, “Don’t feel the trolls.” It’s become “common knowledge” that you should ignore mean-spirited (as opposed to simply critical) comments on the internet, especially if you’re the one they’re addressed to, …

Continue reading »

Jul 15 2012

Outraged Beyond Your Understanding: On Listening to Minority Voices

This whole Tosh thing is making me think about how, in our culture, we discuss problems that disproportionately affect a certain group of people. For example, one thing I noticed as I read as many articles about Toshgate (and their accompanying comments) as I could stomach is that the people defending Tosh were almost always …

Continue reading »

Mar 20 2012

On Coercion and a Different Social Ethic

One of my favorite bloggers once wrote a post about the idea of “consent culture” as an alternative to rape culture. After describing various ways to help create a culture of consent surrounding sex, she brilliantly expands the idea to social interactions in general: I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the …

Continue reading »

Feb 15 2012

On Identifying as a Feminist

[Snark Warning] It’s fashionable these days to align yourself with virtually every feminist cause but to shun the label “feminist.” It’s not “cool,” people protest. We don’t want to be associated with those mannish lesbians. We don’t want to ruin people’s fun. We don’t hate men. Blahblahblah. Okay, here’s the thing. There is no identity out there, …

Continue reading »

Feb 07 2012

Dating Dangerously

Three weeks before my senior prom, I asked my best friend to be my date. I was sure he had feelings for me and I wanted him to know that I returned them, and that I hoped that things would go farther. Awesome! I thought. Asking people out is so easy! Not so fast. At …

Continue reading »

Jan 31 2012

The Friend Zone is a Myth

This week’s Daily Northwestern column. As Valentine’s Day approaches, many of us are probably thinking the same thing : Dating is hard. And it is, especially in college. People who look for serious relationships (as opposed to casual dating or hookups) face plenty of challenges, such as jam-packed schedules, breaks away from campus, study abroad …

Continue reading »

Older posts «

» Newer posts