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Category Archive: sexuality

Jul 16 2013

What We Write About When We Write About Hookups

Every few months the New York Times (or another similarly-positioned publication) prints an article about how Women These Days Are Having Casual Sex And It’s Ruining Things. The articles are often framed just progressively enough to get progressives to eagerly share them over social media because anything about casual sex that’s not from Fox News must be …

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Jun 28 2013

“Women Just Want Men To Take Control.”

[Content note: sex/BDSM] One trope I often hear about women’s sexuality is that “women just want men to take control.”1 I encounter this everywhere–in pickup artist how-to’s, in pop psychology articles, in Cosmo magazines, in Sigmund Freud’s theories. At its best, it’s a harmless meme that simply reflects the gender roles that our society has. …

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Jun 25 2013

Touching People Without Their Consent: Still A Problem Even If It’s Not Sexual

Since I’m always blathering on about consent, including consent in non-sexual situations, I’ve noticed a common belief that a lot of people have. It can basically be summed up like so: If you’re interacting with someone sexually, you need their consent. (Duh.) If you’re interacting with someone of the gender to which you’re generally attracted …

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Jun 19 2013

Tell Kickstarter Not To Fund This Gross Book About How To Get Laid By Assaulting Women

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[Content note: sexual assault] There’s a project that’s just gotten funded through Kickstarter. It’s a book called Above the Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome With Women and it’s being written by a Redditor and pickup artist named Ken Hoinsky. Predictably, the book promises to help men meet and hook up with women. Some quotes …

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Jun 04 2013

[interview] Greta Christina on Writing Dirty Stories

Greta Christina's Bending! Get it from Kindle, Nook, or Smashwords.

[Content note: BDSM] Greta Christina has a new book of kinky erotic stories out. It’s called Bending and I read it and it’s great. So I interviewed her about the book and the process and ethics of writing porn. If you’re curious why I refer to them as “dirty stories” and not “erotica,” Greta herself …

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May 05 2013

[blogathon] Against Pokemon-Style Polyamory

Looks like a pretty strong team!

This is the sixth post in my SSA blogathon. Don’t forget to donate! When I first started exploring and getting into polyamory about a year ago, one of the things that appealed to me about it was this idea of having “different partners” for “different needs.” It made a lot of sense to me and …

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Mar 23 2013

Viewing History Skeptically: On Shifting Cultural Assumptions and Attitudes

I’ve been reading Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers, Lillian Faderman’s sweeping social history of lesbians in 20th century America (this is the sort of thing I do for fun). At the beginning of the chapter on World War II, Faderman makes this insight: If there is one major point to be made in a social history …

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Mar 11 2013

Stop Hating On Female Condoms For No Real Reason

Photo on 3-11-13 at 11.03 PM #2

Every time I do this I feel like I’m a really lazy blogger who’s just going for the low-hanging fruit*, but I feel compelled to once again criticize a Jezebel article. Tracie Egan Morrissey, whose writing is usually quite good, has written a post called “Stop Trying to Make Female Condoms Happen.” The post is …

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Feb 27 2013

“We Saw Your Boobs” and Distorted Views of Female Sexuality

I’ll leave it to others to thoroughly excoriate Seth MacFarlane’s performance at the Oscars. What I want to address specifically is his gloating “We Saw Your Boobs” video, and the interestingly skewed notion of sexuality that it presents. If you believe MacFarlane, and others who think like him, sex is a sort of competition between …

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Feb 16 2013

“Consent Is Sexy” Is Useful But Also Kind Of Sketchy

Consent is Sexy poster

I’m at the University of Chicago’s Sex Week, where I’ve seen a bunch of great talks, including one by Cliff Pervocracy! So I have sex on my mind (well, as usual). I often write about very well-intentioned principles or campaigns that have blind spots and negative implications. Here’s another example. “Consent is sexy” is one …

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