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Category Archive: dating/relationships

Mar 20 2012

On Coercion and a Different Social Ethic

One of my favorite bloggers once wrote a post about the idea of “consent culture” as an alternative to rape culture. After describing various ways to help create a culture of consent surrounding sex, she brilliantly expands the idea to social interactions in general: I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the …

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Feb 23 2012

When Tough Love Becomes Abusive

Okay, so, I realize I’m showing up rather late to the laptop-shooting party, but I didn’t want to let this bit of news pass by without writing about my reaction to it–not only to the incident itself, but to the various responses I’ve seen to it from the public. If you don’t know what I’m …

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Feb 07 2012

Dating Dangerously

Three weeks before my senior prom, I asked my best friend to be my date. I was sure he had feelings for me and I wanted him to know that I returned them, and that I hoped that things would go farther. Awesome! I thought. Asking people out is so easy! Not so fast. At …

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Jan 31 2012

The Friend Zone is a Myth

This week’s Daily Northwestern column. As Valentine’s Day approaches, many of us are probably thinking the same thing : Dating is hard. And it is, especially in college. People who look for serious relationships (as opposed to casual dating or hookups) face plenty of challenges, such as jam-packed schedules, breaks away from campus, study abroad …

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Nov 13 2011

Why You Should Date a Feminist

Men, this post is for you. I’ve been told by trusted sources that potential suitors may read my blog and find themselves intimidated by my feminist ideas. I would never want to discourage a potential suitor until I discover him to be deplorable, so I’m offering up this post as an olive branch of sorts. …

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Jul 30 2011

I'm Not Sorry

[TMI Warning] As a person with a mental condition that often drastically affects interpersonal relationships, I’m a total pro at apologizing. I do it practically every day. Here’s a sample of depression-related things I’ve apologized for lately: crying being too tired to meet up with a friend being late leaving early getting upset when a …

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May 09 2011

Mea Culpa

mea cul·pa. Latin. through my fault; my fault (used as an acknowledgment of one’s responsibility). Apologies have an interesting social function. I think that many people underestimate their power because they don’t necessarily “fix” the harm that was done, but in my opinion that’s an overly simplistic view of things. Many people have trouble saying …

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May 03 2011

A Point-by-Point Assessment of "10 Reasons to Date a Depressive"

[TMI Warning] Thought Catalog had an interesting post yesterday called “10 Reasons to Date a Depressive.” It’s sardonic and irreverent but actually brings up a few good points about depressives (and dating them). I’m going to analyze the piece point-by-point and add my own (as usual, very serious and scholarly) commentary. 1. Anything you leave …

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Apr 21 2011

Love vs. Work

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” — Lady Gaga

As much as I respect and admire Lady Gaga, this is some of the worst advice I’ve ever heard, because it’s incredibly misleading.

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