Right now is a difficult time for many people for many reasons. It’s hard (for me, maybe also for you) to know that there isn’t really anything you can do that will make it better right away.
Sometimes that means feeling useless, worthless, and incompetent, especially if you, like me, also struggle with mental illness.
Something I occasionally find useful in these moments is to remind myself that there are good things about me that I like, and that they are true even if I mess up and even if the world sucks and even if I feel like I’m not doing “enough.”
Speaking positively about yourself can be hard, especially for women (who are often socialized to not “brag” and to be “humble”) and especially for people with mental illnesses (who can have difficulty earnestly believing that they have any positive qualities at all). I am both of these things, so this is an exercise I especially appreciate.
Here are some things I like about myself:
- writing skills
- ability to set boundaries clearly with people
- resourcefulness
- physical strength
- ability to see the good in things/people I otherwise dislike and to acknowledge the bad in things/people I otherwise like
- ability to care about issues even in the absence of a strong emotional response to them
- comfort with apologizing
- comfort with just sitting and listening to people without judging, offering advice, getting overwhelmed, or turning the conversation back to myself
- willingness to deal with the negative emotions that being polyamorous sometimes brings up, as well as ability to experience compersion for my partners
- style. See below for evidence. 🙂
What do you like about yourself?
1. I’m good at reading really quickly
2. I like my hair
3. I can fix a lot of household stuff well
4. I can come up with some good off-the-cuff puns.
5. I’ve learned enough to not be bothered by attempts to masculinity-shame men from other men
1. I currently like the way I look, with long hair. Still things I need to work on in terms of my physical appearance, but I’m much happier with it already.
2. I’m a decent guitarist.
3. I’m a good singer.
4. I’m an okay song-writer.
5. My taste in music. I know that makes me a music snob, but I don’t care. I really do think I have amazing taste in music.
6. The things I know. There’s so much I don’t know, but I’m proud of the knowledge I do have.
1. I’m kick ass creative
2. I get shit done.
3. I can cook and bake like a champ
4. I speak 3 languages fluently
5. I’m a good friend
6. I have a wonderful family
7. I’m kick ass creative, did I mention that?
1. Smart enough to finish university;
2. Am generally healthy.
I think that’s about it.
1. I can play guitar and accordion
2. I can lift weights heavier than me.
3. I’m able to be a considerate partner without overextending myself.
4. I learned how to embroider this year.
I think I’m a good deal less racist/homophobic/right wing than most people. That’s about it.
That’s not something that I think of very much, because I don’t like self-congratulation, and because I have many deficiencies and failures and embarrassments. But if I had to point out anything, it would be superior technical expertise. Like:
– Mathematics
– Science
– Computer stuff
At http://lpetrich.org I have
– Symmetry demos — rotate and reflect geometric shapes and pictures of various organisms
– Software for working with some arcane math that elementary-particle theories use: “semisimple Lie algebras”, which generalize rotations
That’s a really difficult topic. It’s quite hard to think of something positive without a negative side overshadowing it. But … ok. Two things I don’t want to change:
– I love my family. Moreover, they claim that I’m not so bad at it!
– I’m very reluctant to make harsh judgments about other people. (Even when they deserve it. Yes, *I know*.)
nothing
I cooked dinner for myself last night; I like that I was able to make what I made, because it was pretty good. I used to be an awful cook, but I have been making a concentrated effort at improving since I live alone now and I don’t have access to a cafeteria like I did in undergrad.
I changed my facebook picture; I like that I was able to take a relatively flattering photo of myself. I love photography, and I’ve been getting pretty good at it. I also thought my hair looked nice. Others might disagree, but that’s ok.
I met with my graduate advisor today; she said that my performance has been adequate and I’m invited to continue with the program (I just finished my first semester, which is sort of a trial run). I like that I’m good enough to be invited to continue.
I think I’m a pretty nice person in general, though that maybe doesn’t come across here as much as I’d like.
I don’t need to do this exercise because I am one of those privileged to have an intrinsic self-regenerating sense of my own worth and entitlement to live and enjoy life.
7. I can cook. Like… seriously cook. I still have to learn how to grill, and I’m okay at baking, but need to really practice as I intend on making a serious three-layer Death by Chocolate cake with a hard/candy chocolate ganache frosting in the near future.
8. I’m no longer as embarrassed by photos and videos of me because I actually think I look better than I use to… I do think the longer hair plays in to that.
Nathan, I looked you up on Google and found your youtube channel. You are not conventionally unattractive. Take it or leave it.