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May 01 2012

The secret to getting a flood of angry Christian tweets

No, it’s not to spend years blogging about atheism, giving talks about how fucked up religion is, or helping run atheist organizations. It’s to get retweeted by Dan Savage. I know not all of you follow me on twitter, so I thought I’d share the highlights.

Dan retweets someone:

I make a quip, which Dan also retweets:

And then came the flood of angry Christians:

Ironically, she cared enough about my atheism to waste five seconds tweeting at me.

Wait, I’m the one who thinks she’s important? Not the one who thinks they’re the special and highest creation of an all powerful being? Riggghhhttt.

Hooooooo boy, not even touching that one.

But this one was perhaps my favorite:

He never responded. Turns out he couldn’t clarify.

24 comments

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  1. 1
    Rich Wilson

    I replied to ‘She_Thugg!n’

    @jennifurret I feel sorry for people like @yvonnahbaddoe_ who insist on judging based on something besides content of character.

    And she responded

    @64spokes omg I learned about that in school thanks for this life lesson …I will now apply this in my daily life

    My sarcasm detector may be broken.

  2. 2
    Nerwal

    You’ve gotta love “Your just fucking ignorant”.

  3. 3
    Lindsay

    Wow, I really just had to laugh at BardDeBellemont’s misdirected anger because s/he evidently has little understanding of how to actually read a book.

    But *the narrator*, u guise!

  4. 4
    Politeia

    If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, Christians pretty much follow a folk religion made up of smatterings of the New Testament, cherry-picked Jewish laws, and whatever happens to “feel right” at the time. The latter is usually political nonsense like how so many Christians manage to interpret Jesus as a free-market sort of guy.

  5. 5
    Eric RoM

    That’s Heritage Teabaggerese that is.

  6. 6
    Ibis3, Let's burn some bridges

    You forgot the dollop of Hellenistic philosophy–that’s where all the omnipotent, omnibenevolent, transcendent, perfection comes from.

  7. 7
    mnb0

    And you both forget the smartest idea of all, derived from Persian religion: life sucks now in a major way, but afterlife will be great if you do now what we tell you!

  8. 8
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    I love the way all these Tweets are well-thought succinct replies to what Jennifer actually said. Way to address the Tweet, Christians.

    It’s like the textbook example of a narcissist suddenly brought face to face with his narcissism, reacting with raw rage to his emptiness because he’s got nuthin’ else.

  9. 9
    Other Point-of-View

    —And you both forget the smartest idea of all, derived from Persian religion: life sucks now in a major way, but afterlife will be great if you do now what we tell you!—

    Um, as one of those “backward retard Christians”, I just want to point out this isn’t quite true.

    Actually most of the Bible is to the point that God wants you to be happy here and now, in the “real world” as it were.

    And just another tidbit, the Bible also states that even if you don’t believe in God, following Biblical dictates, i.e. be honest, don’t crap on people, don’t be greedy, etc., will work for you.

    If it’s unpalatable to call those “Christian” principles and you want to call it “Common sense” or “humanism”, hey, that works too.

  10. 10
    Christoph Burschka

    I like how BardDeBelmont seems to have some kind of conversation with himself.

  11. 11
    gworroll

    Kind of wish I was awake to see this happen live. Would have been fun.

  12. 12
    SAWells

    Most of the bible is unbearably tedious genealogies, ancient myths, lies, and mystical bullshit. And if you’re a Canaanite, the message is “God wants you dead”. Please stop kidding yourself about the bible; try reading all of it instead of the Sunday-school nice bits.

  13. 13
    Illuminata, Genie in the Beer Bottle

    And this is why I prefer my atheists feisty, robust and NON-accomodationist. The other kind are boring and not funny. Funny is always the way to go when dealing with these buffoons.

  14. 14
    d cwilson

    John Mac’s pic of Reagan pretty much says all you need to know about him.

    But is it really fair to criticize Christians for cherrypicking a book most of them have never read?

  15. 15
    alteredstory

    If somebody warns me that hell is hot, I just say “temperature is relative, and I’m not worried about going to a place that’s not as hot as I am.”

  16. 16
    Kevin

    You forgot about the dietary guidelines for people who did not have ice.

    Very important. Don’t eat shellfish, pork, or bats.

    Locusts are OK.

  17. 17
    holytape

    I think the narrator is Jesus, who is dead, and that’s the twist at the end of the book. So the bible is like a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie – a lot of build up, but in the end incoherent and morally
    bankrupt.

  18. 18
    Drakk

    My just fucking ignorant what?

  19. 19
    left0ver1under

    Maybe the teabagger was saying Jen is a just person…. Nah.

  20. 20
    yoav

    The bible fukcing bans bacon, no god that want people to be happy will ever do that.

  21. 21
    Tim O

    maybe it was a signature “yours, Fucking Ignorant” you know like “your devoted fan” or “your loving soandso”?

  22. 22
    Tim O

    I’m not nearly as worried about going to hell on the word of someone who’s got “Thug” in their twitter name

  23. 23
    JSC_ltd

    Yes! Yes! God wants you to be happy NOW! By doing what we tell you.

  24. 24
    Jett Perrobone

    To every stupid Christian with a tattoo… Leviticus 19:28 “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves.”

    Yes, we’re looking at you, Justin Bieber!

    His tattoo says “Yeshua”, which is Hebrew for “Jesus”, by the way.

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