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May 10 2012

Bristol Palin’s advice to Obama

The advice:

“While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads. In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage. Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.”

My summary: “You should have raised your daughters to be ignorant bigots who are unable to think for themselves and parrot crap that has been repeatedly disproven by science, just like my mom did!”

Thanks for the advice, hypocritical teen mom abstinence shill!

52 comments

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  1. 1
    raven

    Oh, I thought it was going to be something useful and intelligent.

    “Don’t cuddle up in the back of a car with someone you barely know after splitting a 12 pack of beer. And oh yeah, contraception works,…use it.”

  2. 2
    marcus

    PS STFU

  3. 3
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Well, yes, that traditional family thingy with daddy and mommy and christian value and stuff totally worked for her, didn’t it?

    while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage

    Well, actually she’s kind of right there. Only it’s not exactly a reason in favour of those ways of thinking.
    Kid, here’s some advice: “Because we’ve always done it like this” is the argument people use who are actually too stupid to have an original thought.

  4. 4
    Aratina Cage

    Bristol Palin gets a big, bold, red “F” on her own current marriage scorecard if we go with the “thousands of years of thinking about marriage” rubric. Why did she think anyone would care what she thinks anyway? What a buffoon!

  5. 5
    Reginald Selkirk

    Off-topic: Melinda Gates’ New Crusade: Investing Billions in Women’s Health

    Perhaps more importantly, there’s her Catholic faith, which has always informed her work. “From the very beginning, we said that as a foundation we will not support abortion, because we don’t believe in funding it,” she says. She’s long disagreed with the church’s position on contraception, and the Gates Foundation did some family-planning funding early in its history. Still, she went through a lot of soul-searching before she was ready to champion the issue publicly…

    Cafeteria Catholicism interferes with good works.

  6. 6
    joshuakundert

    This is why we can’t have nice things… (because people actually GIVE A CRAP about what this idiot thinks… )

  7. 7
    godlesspanther

    Jen — I was eating when I pulled this blog up.

    YOU OWE ME AN APPETITE!

  8. 8
    The Pint

    *owmybraintehstupidhurts!*

  9. 9
    hieropants

    Yeah, if Obama were a better dad, Sasha and Malia wouldn’t have gotten teen-pregnant!

  10. 10
    Alyson Miers

    Shorter Bristol: “Do as I say, not as I do. Also, too: durr durr durr, oh look shiny!”

  11. 11
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Also, dear Bristol, ain’t you glad people have changed thousands of years of thinking about premarital sex?
    Or fancy a bit of stoning?

  12. 12
    KMK

    Clearly Bristol has not spent much time participating in the “thousands of years of thinking about marriage.” Once marriage stopped being a business contract between the father and husband, it was all downhill from there.

  13. 13
    raven

    while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.

    Thousands of years ago in the bible, women were property. You could have as many wives as you could chase down and as many sex slaves as you could buy.

    Solomon, that hero of the OT had 700 wives and 300 sex slaves.

    Bristol, is unfortunately taking after her mother. She doesn’t know anything or where to find out anything either.

  14. 14
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    You’re being unfair
    Sure she didn’t know, but she found out soon enough.

  15. 15
    Gregory Lynn

    while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.

    Actually, it’s a pretty damn good reason to do exactly that.

  16. 16
    julian

    That’s where my mind went.

    “Um… yeah. Direct evidence that contradicts tenuously held assumptions is a good reason to rethink your views.”

  17. 17
    mnb0

    “fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.”
    This is actually correct. It’s just not an argument against gay couples having kids, it’s something those couples should pay attention to.
    On this I’m a sort of expert by experience. As a child I have lived both with my remarried mother and with my father and his male partner. I greatly preferred the latter. But there were also two mother figures around.

  18. 18
    DaveL

    “While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads. In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.

    That’s funny, Aristotle’s observation of the position of the sun and constellations at different geographical locations was a good reason to change thousands of years of thiking about the shape of the earth.

    Galileo’s experiments dropping balls from the Leaning Tower of Pisa were a good reason to change thousands of years of thinking about gravity.

    Pasteur’s experiments with sealed sterilized flasks were a good reason to change thousands of years of thinking about biogenesis.

    It sounds to me like direct observation is in fact one hell of a good reason for challenging thousands of years of dogma and prejudice.

  19. 19
    Elaine

    “…we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.”

    So, how’s it going in single-mom land Bristol?

  20. 20
    Improbable Joe, bearer of the Official SpokesGuitar

    Wow, Malia and Sasha’s parents managed to graduate high school and get married before having children, a standard that Bristol Palin didn’t come remotely close to meeting. Before she nags her ghostwriter to opine on the issues of the day, she should make sure she’s not going to look like a gigantic hypocritical moron.

  21. 21
    Improbable Joe, bearer of the Official SpokesGuitar

    … I’m bashing hypocrites, not teen moms or single moms, BTW. I don’t think that’s always the best move, but it isn’t any of my business until someone like Palin makes a public spectacle of themselves and makes it my business.

  22. 22
    Mimmoth

    Uh Bristol?

    Let’s wait and see if any of Obama’s kids turn up pregnant at seventeen before we ask him to do something as drastic as turning to you for advice on how to parent.

  23. 23
    Kahomono

    Here’s a handy heuristic: Take anything said by someone named Palin, invert it and adopt the inversion as your position on the matter.

    Works so reliably it might almost be a law of nature.

  24. 24
    Jadehawk

    Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home.

    so Bristol’s advice is “lie to your children”?

  25. 25
    Jadehawk

    “From the very beginning, we said that as a foundation we will not support abortion, because we don’t believe in funding it,” she says.

    oh for…

  26. 26
    otrame

    Errmmm….

    Are Bristol’s kids growing up in a mother/father house? I admit that keeping track of what is going on in her life is, well, a rather low priority for me. So I don’t actually know.

  27. 27
    CycleNinja

    Thanks to the Palins and many more like them, irony truly is dead.

  28. 28
    herewegoagain

    I feel sorry for Bristol. She will become a laughing stock just like her mother. The Republican leadership wasted no time kicking her mommie to the curb after she cost them the Senate.

  29. 29
    Ysanne

    Then again, while not directly funding abortion, at least she’s working to get $4bn (by 2020) into funding contraception for women who otherwise wouldn’t have access to it.
    Contrary to Catholic teaching and against direct criticism.

  30. 30
    Al

    I do wish those Palins would change their name: the blessed Michael suffers by association…

  31. 31
    holytape

    This why cognitive distance should be measure in a unit I like to call a palin.

    A single unmarried teen mom telling a married man, that she appreciates the benefits of mariage more than he does. 1.76 palins.

    Rush Limbaugh making fun os a woman for being sexually actively while himself having been married four time and having been caught with illegal viagra. – 1.21 kilopalins.

    Sarah Palin saying that Obama was unqualified due to a lack of experience – 2.34 tetrapalins.

  32. 32
    rebeccadavis-nord

    Bravo, Dave – super-well said.

  33. 33
    rebeccadavis-nord

    Spot on!

  34. 34
    Eric RoM

    Like she cares. There’s good money in being a laughingstock, and it beats actually working.

  35. 35
    G.Shelley

    Or
    “While it’s nice to listen to your children, if they show respect for families of same sex parents, you should tell them that those aren’t real families and that the children are probably going to be damaged by it”

  36. 36
    phrankeaufyl

    Rush Limbaugh making fun of a woman for being sexually active while himself having been married four times and having been caught with illegal viagra, while on vacation in the Dominican Republic, a country notorious for sex tourism and child prostitution.– 1.21 kilopalins.

    Fixed that for you.

  37. 37
    smhll

    While I am emphatically not in favor of pregnant teenage girls being forced into marriage, it used to be traditional for that to happen. Also, I think Bristol and Levi’s shotgun wedding preparations, wedding, honeymoon and baby-raising antics would make terrific reality television. Perhaps with an ironic title like For Better Or For Worse.

  38. 38
    Barb

    I am sad that a President of the USA would go so far as to support publicly something that is a state’s rights issue. Besides, it is not in the best interest of our society for the civic authorities to support anything other than marriage. Marriage being something that happens between a man and a woman since sexual intercourse is fundamental to it.

  39. 39
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    I am sad that a President of the USA would go so far as to support publicly something that is a state’s rights issue.

    Human rights trump “states rights,” to the extent that there is such a thing. Didn’t your ilk* figure that out after we fought a fucking war to stop you from buying and selling human beings?

    Besides, it is not in the best interest of our society for the civic authorities to support anything other than marriage.

    Guess what we’re pushing for, dipshit.

    Marriage being something that happens between a man and a woman since sexual intercourse is fundamental to it.

    Wait, are you unaware that same-sex couples can have sex? I’ve never met a bigoted fuckwit that seemed to be able to take their minds off Teh Ghey Seks for five seconds, let alone being unaware that there is such a thing.

    So, I’m curious: should men and women who are unable to have sex for whatever reason (disabilities, religious convictions, etc.) be forbidden from marrying? Or are you afraid that actually following one of your conceits to its logical conclusion will cause something like this to happen to you?

    *Yes, “YOUR”. Scumbags who think their prejudices are more important than other people’s lives are all alike.

  40. 40
    Alexa

    So… marriage is for fucking, and gay people can’t have sex. That’s what you’re telling us.

  41. 41
    Jadehawk

    I am sad that a President of the USA would go so far as to support publicly something that is a state’s rights issue.

    the right to marry whom we chose to marry hasn’t been a states rights issue since Loving vs Virginia, because it’s been considered a basic civil right since then.

    Besides, it is not in the best interest of our society for the civic authorities to support anything other than marriage.

    gay marriage is marriage.

    Marriage being something that happens between a man and a woman since sexual intercourse is fundamental to it.

    sexual intercourse is neither necessary nor unique to marriage (meaning, people who don’t have sex can be legally married, while peopl ewho aren’t legally married are having plenty of sex); and I don’t know if you know this… but gay couples can have sexual intercourse, too.

  42. 42
    smrnda

    Since sex happens so often when there is no marriage, I cannot consider sex even one of the top ten most relevant things about marriage. I’d argue that trust, love, emotional intimacy, the desire to share your life with someone else and the legal recognition are far more salient features.

    Fundies seem to believe in a kind of ‘sex mysticism’ that makes marriage all about sex since it’s finally the place where they can have sexual feelings without guilt. I don’t argue that sex isn’t fun, but if you see sex as the most relevant component of a marriage you must be stuck in adolescence.

  43. 43
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Early adolescence.

  44. 44
    Matthew Smith

    Did she give similar advise to Dick Cheney when he stated he was in favor of gay marriage?

  45. 45
    jnorris

    Bristol, former George H W Bush vice-president Dan Quayle hates you.

  46. 46
    Banquo's Righteous Indignation

    Isn’t great that the in-bred off-spring of a self-important-self-serving-self-righteous-carpet-bagging-right-wing-patsy has not only a Constitutional(unlike most of the Tea Party I still feel this document of staggering genius merits capitalization) right to lecture the leader of the free world on parenting(I’m not certain but I think his two children and what? 10-12 year head start on the poster-child for teen motherhood might make the validity of her “advice” tantamount to…well, her mother’s geographical knowlege about the proximity of her front porch and Russia), but a forum by which her arrogance/ignorance can be so elloquently expressed?

    Nice dangling participle btw.

    Hubris thy name is Palin.

    (my first post…I hope my prose make up for my spelling)

  47. 47
    Banquo's Righteous Indignation

    Alexa, Alexa, Alexa(in the fatherly chortle of Fred McMurray sitting in a rocking chair in front of a crackling fire place, shaking his head and tapping out his pipe)…you misunderstand. What Babs is trying to say is that The gays can only have sex if fisting is involve and marriage is(as God intended it to be) only for Tea Party loyalists and Republican politicians who want to hook up with hot out-call massuers or interns with rock hard abs on the side.

    I’m sure she meant no harm what so ever.

    Now! Whose up for some cookies and tea-bagging?

  48. 48
    Banquo's Righteous Indignation

    “So, I’m curious: should men and women who are unable to have sex for whatever reason (disabilities, religious convictions, etc.) be forbidden from marrying?”

    God I hope so…If not, poor lil’ Trig Palin will never get laid.

  49. 49
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Two different levels of WTF.

  50. 50
    Shush388

    I think we all need to stop spanking Barb. After all, given her apparent knowledge level she just finished her fifth grade sex talk and/or she is trolling!

  51. 51
    Shush388

    I am a middle aged health care professional with a child in elementary school (planned and born after 4 years of marriage) and I have been widowed and remarried and feel I have a certain amount of life experience. And I would STILL not presume to offer President Obama advice on such matters! The arrogance of this goofball child astounds me! I would give my daughter a good talking-to if she did such a thing! Sarah, you have not only failed to teach your child about contraception, you have failed to teach her humility!

  52. 52
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    What if she’s sincere and we make her mad enough to do some research to try to refute us?

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