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I have angered some sort of water god

Remember how my car randomly flooded a couple of weeks ago? Well, now it’s my apartment’s turn! The apartment above mine had their bath tub’s plumbing leak, resulting in water draining down the wall into my apartment. My hallway carpet is grossly soaked, and is currently covered in towels and has a fan blowing on it. My landlord was very prompt about fixing the leak and says he’ll take care of any damage to the carpet, but it’s still a pain in the ass.

I guess this exposes my biases. I always thought that if I were going to get smited by an angry god, it would be the Christian one. Not because that one is more likely to exist than the rest, but because I make fun of it the most. Little did I know it would be a water god who finally took their wrath out against this atheist. I’m not sure which of the dozens of water gods that may be, but I’m going to guess Poseidon since I’m half Greek.

Damn you, Poseidon!

Comments

  1. OverlappingMagisteria says

    Damn you, Poseidon!

    Well now you’ve just made it worse. I think you need to sacrifice a fish or something to appease him.

  2. rbray18 says

    well it could be cool in a way if posidy was the one who was mad. you could wind up travailing the sea for 10 years and blinding a cyclops and so on :D

  3. E.A. Blair says

    It could have been worse. When I had a leak coming from the apartment overhead, it was from the toilet, not the bathtub. Imagine what it’s like, knowing where that leak is coming from and feeling a drop fall on your head. I’d blame the Rusalki, myself. They have a reputation for mischief.

  4. Dave, the Kwisatz Haderach says

    I would suggest an offering to Chalchiuhtlicue, Aztec goddess of lakes, rivers, seas, streams, horizontal waters, storms and baptism. She seems most likely to be in charge of plumbing.

  5. neonsequitur says

    Forget the water gods; you need to make a sacrifice to the “retail gods” and get one of these:

    http://www.amazon.com/Air-King-Pivoting-Grounded-9552/dp/B00009YV7B

    I used to work in an HVAC supply house, and we had a number of customers/contractors with issues like this. That little item was the #1 fastest way to dry out soaked carpets; worked great. I think Amazon’s price is a bit high, so you might want to shop around a little….

  6. Manly Bowler says

    Not to mention visiting an island where a sorceress turns men into pigs.

    … bring some MRA’s along, will you, Jen? ;-)

  7. Dave, the Kwisatz Haderach says

    Actually, maybe not. Her page suggests she prefers human hearts as a sacrifice. Those things are not easy to get your hands on, trust me.

  8. Azkyroth says

    Nah. Yahweh’s just responding to Rick Perry’s anti-drought prayers. You know how his aim is.

  9. shouldbeworking says

    Too bad the wrong half of you is Greek. The correct half would have been able to intervene with Posidon.

  10. Ken says

    I think you have misinterpreted the events. The problem is the water gods love you too much. You have been blessed by their watery presence.

    Perhaps you have praised them too much by passing water too vigorously.

  11. Eric RoM says

    I guess this exposes my biases. I always thought that if I were going to get smited by an angry god, it would be the Christian one.

    Pfftt! Yer living in Seattle now, pagan home to dozens of water gods.

    (Also, I believe it is ‘smote’. Or ‘haben gesmotten’.)

  12. joviality says

    No no no… you have a to drown a land animal or something… he likes fish, right? Or is that just Aquaman… maybe you’ve angered Aquaman?

  13. QoB says

    Nah, I reckon it’s Anoia, Goddess of Things That Get Stuck in Drawers, Things That Go Down the Back of the Couch, and Hopeless Causes.

    You must praise her ‘by rattling a drawer and crying “How can it close on the damned thing but not open with it? Who bought this? Do we ever use it?”‘.

  14. F says

    Oh, fuck, I hate those sorts of leaks. Doesn’t the owner have a wet vac to use on the carpet at the very least?

  15. AlanMac says

    Maybe this deity is more apropos for Seattle…

    The Haida of the Pacific Northwest… Sga’na is the Sea God, embodied in the killer whale. Djila’qons, the Sea Goddess, lives at head of a major inlet in Haida Territory, (The Strait of Juan De Fuca) and controls all the creatures of the sea and welcomes her sailors home.

  16. carpenterman says

    Did you piss off PZ?
    You know, that whole squid… thing… maybe he’s really…
    Hey, I’m just saying.

  17. carpenterman says

    …turning men into pigs…
    I think that ship has sailed for the MRA’s, don’t you?

  18. Sensemaker says

    I believe you are supposed to drown a horse to propitiate Poseidon. On the other hand, angering PETA to propitiate Poseidon might not be an improvement.

    Sensemaker

  19. rbray18 says

    bahhhh peta get’s angry if you cough in the general direction of a dead fly. but other more serious humane groups could be a problem.

  20. Svlad Cjelli says

    Are you Odysseus now?

    And if it is Poseidon, watch out for earthquakes.
    100 Power and 100% Accuracy with five type-advantages at all target-positions is fearsome to the non-levitating.

  21. says

    Come to think of it, Yahweh’s Jesus incarnation had a few water tricks, too (transforming water into wine and walking on the sea), but his tended to be less destructive than the water spells he cast while in the Yahweh form.

  22. Dianne says

    It would explain…much. Perhaps his militant atheism is a cover. He’s really an elder god, seeking to destroy the younger gods who have displaced him and return to destroy the earth. PZthulu?

  23. Julian Morrison says

    No, no! You’ve got it wrong. Water likes you. It wants to hang out with you, sleep on your bed, ride in your car, etc. Like a particularly pushy cat.

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