Mar 08 2012

I have angered some sort of water god

Remember how my car randomly flooded a couple of weeks ago? Well, now it’s my apartment’s turn! The apartment above mine had their bath tub’s plumbing leak, resulting in water draining down the wall into my apartment. My hallway carpet is grossly soaked, and is currently covered in towels and has a fan blowing on it. My landlord was very prompt about fixing the leak and says he’ll take care of any damage to the carpet, but it’s still a pain in the ass.

I guess this exposes my biases. I always thought that if I were going to get smited by an angry god, it would be the Christian one. Not because that one is more likely to exist than the rest, but because I make fun of it the most. Little did I know it would be a water god who finally took their wrath out against this atheist. I’m not sure which of the dozens of water gods that may be, but I’m going to guess Poseidon since I’m half Greek.

Damn you, Poseidon!


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  1. 1

    Damn you, Poseidon!

    Well now you’ve just made it worse. I think you need to sacrifice a fish or something to appease him.

  2. 2

    Now, now. You shouldn’t jump the gun on blaming Poseidon. There are a lot of other deities that could be involved – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_deity

    Clearly you are biased against Greek deities…tsk, tsk…

  3. 3

    well it could be cool in a way if posidy was the one who was mad. you could wind up travailing the sea for 10 years and blinding a cyclops and so on :D

  4. 4
    E.A. Blair

    It could have been worse. When I had a leak coming from the apartment overhead, it was from the toilet, not the bathtub. Imagine what it’s like, knowing where that leak is coming from and feeling a drop fall on your head. I’d blame the Rusalki, myself. They have a reputation for mischief.

  5. 5
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    I would suggest an offering to Chalchiuhtlicue, Aztec goddess of lakes, rivers, seas, streams, horizontal waters, storms and baptism. She seems most likely to be in charge of plumbing.

  6. 6

    Forget the water gods; you need to make a sacrifice to the “retail gods” and get one of these:


    I used to work in an HVAC supply house, and we had a number of customers/contractors with issues like this. That little item was the #1 fastest way to dry out soaked carpets; worked great. I think Amazon’s price is a bit high, so you might want to shop around a little….

  7. 7
    Manly Bowler

    Not to mention visiting an island where a sorceress turns men into pigs.

    … bring some MRA’s along, will you, Jen? ;-)

  8. 8
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    Actually, maybe not. Her page suggests she prefers human hearts as a sacrifice. Those things are not easy to get your hands on, trust me.

  9. 9
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Nah. Yahweh’s just responding to Rick Perry’s anti-drought prayers. You know how his aim is.

  10. 10
    Rutee Katreya

  11. 11

    Are you related to Rob McKenna in so Long and Thanks for all the fish?

  12. 12

    Too bad the wrong half of you is Greek. The correct half would have been able to intervene with Posidon.

  13. 13
    Aratina Cage

    It still could be Yahweh. He had some wicked water spells.

  14. 14

    I think you have misinterpreted the events. The problem is the water gods love you too much. You have been blessed by their watery presence.

    Perhaps you have praised them too much by passing water too vigorously.

  15. 15
    Eric RoM

    I guess this exposes my biases. I always thought that if I were going to get smited by an angry god, it would be the Christian one.

    Pfftt! Yer living in Seattle now, pagan home to dozens of water gods.

    (Also, I believe it is ‘smote’. Or ‘haben gesmotten’.)

  16. 16

    No no no… you have a to drown a land animal or something… he likes fish, right? Or is that just Aquaman… maybe you’ve angered Aquaman?

  17. 17

    Release the Kraken!

  18. 18

    Nah, I reckon it’s Anoia, Goddess of Things That Get Stuck in Drawers, Things That Go Down the Back of the Couch, and Hopeless Causes.

    You must praise her ‘by rattling a drawer and crying “How can it close on the damned thing but not open with it? Who bought this? Do we ever use it?”‘.

  19. 19

    Being Jen is suffering.

  20. 20
    Anonymous Atheist

    Try praying to the patron saint of running water, or an anti-flood saint! ;)

  21. 21
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    Oh, fuck, I hate those sorts of leaks. Doesn’t the owner have a wet vac to use on the carpet at the very least?

  22. 22

    Maybe this deity is more apropos for Seattle…

    The Haida of the Pacific Northwest… Sga’na is the Sea God, embodied in the killer whale. Djila’qons, the Sea Goddess, lives at head of a major inlet in Haida Territory, (The Strait of Juan De Fuca) and controls all the creatures of the sea and welcomes her sailors home.

  23. 23

    Did you piss off PZ?
    You know, that whole squid… thing… maybe he’s really…
    Hey, I’m just saying.

  24. 24

    …turning men into pigs…
    I think that ship has sailed for the MRA’s, don’t you?

  25. 25
    J.M. Pierce

    Oh…I thought you were half Geek….

  26. 26

    I believe you are supposed to drown a horse to propitiate Poseidon. On the other hand, angering PETA to propitiate Poseidon might not be an improvement.


  27. 27

    bahhhh peta get’s angry if you cough in the general direction of a dead fly. but other more serious humane groups could be a problem.

  28. 28
    Svlad Cjelli


    Does anybody have a spare hecatomb?

  29. 29
    Svlad Cjelli

    Are you Odysseus now?

    And if it is Poseidon, watch out for earthquakes.
    100 Power and 100% Accuracy with five type-advantages at all target-positions is fearsome to the non-levitating.

  30. 30
    Svlad Cjelli

    What are you doing here, comment? Get down from there.

  31. 31
    Irreverend Bastard

    How about the God of ShamWow?

  32. 32
    Aratina Cage

    Come to think of it, Yahweh’s Jesus incarnation had a few water tricks, too (transforming water into wine and walking on the sea), but his tended to be less destructive than the water spells he cast while in the Yahweh form.

  33. 33

    It would explain…much. Perhaps his militant atheism is a cover. He’s really an elder god, seeking to destroy the younger gods who have displaced him and return to destroy the earth. PZthulu?

  34. 34

    You just have to know where to look.

  35. 35
    Julian Morrison

    No, no! You’ve got it wrong. Water likes you. It wants to hang out with you, sleep on your bed, ride in your car, etc. Like a particularly pushy cat.

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