You know what mythical creatures seems like they would be awesome if they actually existed, but would actually be terrible? Pegasi*. I mean, think how terrible it is when a bird shits on you or right on the windshield of your car. Think of what a terrible mess geese make when they come through shitting on everything. Now extrapolate that to a bunch of fucking horses flying overhead. We wouldn’t be like “Oh, look at what soaring majestic beauty.” We’d be like “Oh fuck nooooooooo” and running for shelter.
That is all.
*Yes, the plural of Pegasus is Pegasi because “Pegasus” is Latin. The Greek version is “Pegasos.” I learned this solely because I wanted my discussion of Pegasus crap attacks to be grammatically correct. Even poop jokes can accidentally teach you something.
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'Tis Himself, OM
January 31, 2012 at 5:11 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
It’s a very old joke, usually flying elephants, à la Dumbo, are used instead of pegasi.
Kausik Datta
January 31, 2012 at 5:13 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
This so reminded me of an old limerick I read somewhere or other.
Birdy, birdy in the sky
Why you poo-poo in my eye?
I didn’t sigh
I didn’t cry
Thank god, cows don’t fly!!
Jett Perrobone
January 31, 2012 at 5:19 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Since “Pegasi” is plural, the first sentence should really be:
Now, I believe it’s grammatically correct! :)
Jen
January 31, 2012 at 5:29 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Drat, you are correct. I originally wrote it to be “Pegasus” but then changed it to add the quip about the plural form…and then didn’t change the rest.
Richard Simons
January 31, 2012 at 5:31 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The version we recited as kids was
Little birdy flying high
Dropped a message from the sky.
Upset parson wiped his eye,
Thanking God that cows can’t fly.
Sheila
January 31, 2012 at 5:33 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
If the Greek is pegasos, it’s plural would be ‘oi pegasoi?
Simon
January 31, 2012 at 5:45 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Greek word is Πήγασος with plural Πήγασοι. Which is pronounced ‘Pigasos’ and ‘Pigasi’ respectively. Ironically this is closer to JREF’s mascot than anything else!
I grew up in Greece and was actually discussing this with my wife the other day.
PS Plural flying pigs would generate a hell of a lot of poop as well :-)
marcmielke
January 31, 2012 at 6:06 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
‘oi pegasoi’ puts me in mind of closely-shorn flying horses, possibly shod in Doc Marten horseshoes. Would some brony-type make this reality?
williamdonohue
January 31, 2012 at 6:19 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
My favorite merging of mythical animal and poop joke: the bonnacon.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonnacon
Ramel
January 31, 2012 at 6:22 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Would a group of pegasi be considered a herd or a flock?
E.A. Blair
January 31, 2012 at 6:25 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Anyont who is an astronomy buff would know that “Pegasi” is not only the nominative plural but the genitive singular and that the star Markab is also known as α Pegasi, and, along with β Pegasi (Scheat), γ Pegasi (Algenib) and α Andromedae (Alpheratz) form the asterism known as the Great Square of Pegasus.
Mike
January 31, 2012 at 6:26 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
In the past, I’ve often said “Don’t leave a brilliant mind to its own devices for too long, or positively mad shit will start coming out of it.”
This is the first time I’ve seen that happen literally.
E.A. Blair
January 31, 2012 at 6:26 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Typo alert: “Anyont” = “Anyone”.
E.A. Blair
January 31, 2012 at 6:28 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
They’d be a herd on the ground and a flock in the air.
Tansy
January 31, 2012 at 6:32 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I am a latin nerd, and I really appreciated the Pegasi. Well done.
ajb47
January 31, 2012 at 6:49 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manuals in their Ecology sections never mention that particular attack ability of the Pegasus.
AJ
Drakk
January 31, 2012 at 6:56 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Am I the only one wondering if such a creature is even biologically feasible? What kind of wingspan would you need, keeping in mind the ratio of weight to lifting power…and all that sort of thing.
Shaun
January 31, 2012 at 6:56 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Now I agree with you 100% on that, but this seems like a slightly more random observation than usual. Is there a particular reason why you happened to be pondering the implications of pegasi?
John Shutt
January 31, 2012 at 7:07 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Last verse of Tom Lehrer’s A Christmas Carol: “Let the raucous sleigh bells jingle // Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle // Driving his reindeer across the sky // Don’t stand underneath when they fly by!”
Brownian
January 31, 2012 at 7:17 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
What are you talking about, Jen? Poop is hardly the worst thing about pegasi!
J.M. Pierce
January 31, 2012 at 7:26 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
In the bible it clearly states that Pegasi were only known to shat when all four legs were touching the ground, and would NEVER relieve themselves while flying. Unless, of course they were flying over infidel territory……hence the bur-qua….
McSkeptic
January 31, 2012 at 7:40 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Don’t make me release the flying monkeys.
hkdharmon
January 31, 2012 at 7:47 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Pointy birds
All pointy-pointy
Anoint my head
Anointy-nointy
(Steve Martin, I think)
Jim Baerg
January 31, 2012 at 8:04 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Only on a planet with denser air and/or lower gravity.
This guy has done some science fictional world building that include a few such worlds. No flying horse poop jokes though.
skinman
January 31, 2012 at 8:22 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Thanks Jen. That made me laugh.
F
February 1, 2012 at 12:25 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
This is why flying cars would be stupid.
Predator Handshake
February 1, 2012 at 7:34 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I think an airdropped poop attack could fall under the 9th Amendment of the Dungeon Master Constitution; but what would you roll to save against it? Reflex to dodge, Fortitude against the poop germs, maybe Will against the psychological damage from being bombarded with shit from above? Having been pooped on by birds, I think I’d go with Will.
Rrr
February 1, 2012 at 8:48 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Here’s a 14-minute classical movie educational movie fly-over (De düva – the Dove). Don’t expect a language lesson, though.
interrobang
February 1, 2012 at 12:20 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
My mother taught me
Spring is sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where
The birdies is?
Here comes one
A-flying by
He dropped some whitewash
In my eye
But I’m a big girl
I won’t cry!
I’m just so glad
That cows don’t fly!
Kes
February 3, 2012 at 6:23 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Ecktually, “Pegasus” is a proper name for a specific winged horse, the son of Medusa and Poseidon, who was born out of a drop of her blood along with his brother, Chrysaor the giant, when Perseus decapitated her, because she couldn’t give birth due to her curse, dont’cha know.
nemryn
February 4, 2012 at 4:39 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Actually, the official plural of ‘pegasus’ is ‘pegasususususeseseses’.
Kaleberg
February 5, 2012 at 9:47 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
At least Pegasus has a plural form. Pity the mongoose, a singular animal, because no one can say two of them.
DPSisler
February 8, 2012 at 10:09 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
A “flocking herd”?
boda orginal
April 27, 2012 at 2:18 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely believe this web site needs a great deal more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read more, thanks for the information!
Kausik Datta
April 27, 2012 at 8:48 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
ALERT!! Clean up on spammer shit in comment #27!