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Dec 07 2011

My secret is out

The only reason I support gay marriage is because I want to be able to have evil “feminist marriages” where I turn all men into my sperm producing, money giving slaves. Drat. Back to the drawing board, I suppose. Thanks to all the people out there who pretended to be gay to further the diabolical gynocratic cause, but you can stop faking it now.

*brain explode*

31 comments

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  1. 1
    Erik

    Woah…don’t give up so easily! Just because the secret is out doesn’t mean you have to give up on the plan!

  2. 2
    Ryan

    There’s so much in that rant that doesn’t make sense. I don’t think he understands basic concepts, like what gay means and how babies are made.

  3. 3
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    I saw this earlier.

    My first thought was “holy shit: a guy who both deserves my ex and wouldn’t be surprised by her.”

  4. 4
    Brian

    After reading that, I have a sudden urge to get feminist-married! Can I do that without having any children?

    Oh yeah, and being male?

  5. 5
    PDX_Greg

    I thought that was what misogynists called feminism. They’re going to have to come up with something better than that.

  6. 6
    julian

    I literally don’t even

    What the fuck was that I just read? And, more importantly, how can David Futrelle stare into the eyes of such eldritch horrors of long long since without going mad?

  7. 7
    Jed

    I like the implication that men will be forced into male-male marriages despite how ‘most men in those marriages will have regular sexual encounters with women’. It is a good way for him to set up an excuse for if he ever ends up married to some guy, obviously he was forced into it and cant be gay, due to the regular ‘sexual encounters with women’ he would supposedly have.
    I also like how men will become unconsenting fathers because apparently the default assumption is that every woman is on birth control and no one knows how to use condoms.
    I should start using ‘sexual encounters with women’ as a euphemism for some completely unrelated activity. Possibly political debates.

  8. 8
    sidhe3141

    “Words cannot describe these gibbering blasphemies against all reason, these ventures into the abysses beyond sane thought. I can but transcribe the ravings of those pitiable wretches who have, through exposure to venomous materials, been rendered able to see naught but yonic voids spawning all-devouring squamous horrors upon meeting those who they have learned to call ‘Nemesis’.”

  9. 9
    Almulhida

    Wat?

    Seriously.

    Wat?

  10. 10
    callieleuck

    This is offensive on so many levels that, if sexual orientation were a choice, I would go lesbian right now and get hitched ASAP. Just out of spite.

  11. 11
    Pramod

    We need some sort of corollary of Poe’s law that applies to these dudes.

  12. 12
    PZ Myers

    Well, it is the reason I support gay marriage — because I want to be a love slave kept by a gorgeous woman who just wants to milk me of my sweet, sweet semen every day.

    It’s working so far!

  13. 13
    Ing

    @PZ

    I’m picturing a Cow milking machine…

  14. 14
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    @Ing

    A Boy and His Dog?

  15. 15
    Rawnaeris, Lulu Cthulhu

    *BOOM*



    Your regularly scheduled Rawnaeris will return when she has finished scraping bits of her brain off the walls and ceiling.

  16. 16
    LadyDreamgirl

    But you can still support gay marriage in order to eventually be able to marry a building, that secret agenda hasn’t gotten out yet has it?

  17. 17
    simonfaber

    But on a much lighter note, isn’t it nice to see all the, you know, sane people on the net connected? I didn’t know Jen knew ManBoobz and David Futrelle. A match made in heaven (lower exosphere).

  18. 18
    sarah

    WTF

  19. 19
    daenyx

    Damnit, Jen, that mental segfault hurt.

  20. 20
    Alyson Miers

    I saw that some time ago, and aside from the complete and utter unawareness of reality, what really struck me first was that this guy really hates women, if he thinks this is what we’ll do if same-sex marriage is a possibility. But it doesn’t end there! He hates women this much, yet he still wants us to get married to men, and he seems to think women are incapable of supporting themselves without depending on male salaries, so in his universe, we’d pretty much have no choice but to enter heterosexual marriages. Which means that men would be required to marry these utterly horrible, venal, parasitic creatures.

    He just hates humanity. He hates everyone, but he still wants us to make more of ourselves.

  21. 21
    Predator Handshake

    If I ever get a chance to go to a fetish club, I’m totally requesting an “evil feminist marriage” party.

  22. 22
    StJason

    I think the opposite. I think he’s secretly excited at the idea of being kept captive by two strong women, who will use him to get pregnant, before tossing him back into the unlighted basement where he’ll have to eat rats and wait for the next time those dominating women need his seed again…

    …I bet his browser history is full of that stuff…

    :)

  23. 23
    StJason

    …that would be the best political party EVER.

  24. 24
    Worldtraveller

    Jen, where do I sign up? =P

    I mean, being part of the Pharynguloid horde has some appeal, but there’s no competition with getting to be a sex slave. Unless, of course, there’s tentacles involved…win-win!

  25. 25
    hoverfrog

    Well I know mine is. Erm. I mean, shocking. Just shocking. I don’t know what the world’s coming to. Tsk!

  26. 26
    hoverfrog

    I particularly like how people on the outside tell people on the inside what they are thinking. It doesn’t matter if it is Christians telling atheists why they don’t believe in gods or misogynists telling feminists that they want to castrate or enslave men. It’s a fundamental misunderstanding on their part.

    They should admit ignorance and ask questions instead. Maybe they are too lazy for that though. Asking questions and changing your viewpoint is tricky and unsettling for some people. Better to sit in a nice, comfy zone of bigotry than to poke your head out and take a look around.

  27. 27
    Svlad Cjelli

    Gibbeth, the green star.

  28. 28
    Freemage

    This is the third time I’ve read through this thing. It’s the Cornucopia of Stupid–every time I look at it, I see more things the author gets horribly, laughably wrong. I’d almost suspect that he’s going around, adding new paragraphs of further stupid, because I can’t believe I overlooked that bit the last time I saw it.

  29. 29
    paul

    @Ing

    Bull milking machines already exist.

    Plus a less fun version for critters who may not be in the mood, like Pandas.

  30. 30
    Michael Wallace

    Oh hey I just wanted to stop by and say I enjoyed reading your website.

  31. 31
    Evan Bdsm

    Primarily I feel your article is without doubt one of the ideal point I ve readed currently ! Thanks and remember to be able to write additional!

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