Good luck, bros! »« This gives a whole new meaning to high-throughput sequencing

Happy End of the World!

I’m sure you all remember when the Rapture happened on May 21, right? It was subtle – Christians didn’t go flying through the air because it was a “spiritual” judgement day. Or something. But according to Harold Camping, today is actually the end of the world. Get ready for the earthquakes and meteorites, I suppose.

I just hope God waits until later in the evening before smiting us. My big research presentation is at 3:15pm, and I don’t want to realize I wasted my final week on this planet making PowerPoint slides. Plus, no one wants their last moments of life spent trapped in a lecture hall. If God is truly compassionate, he’ll at least give me time to have dinner, drink some beers, and dance with my friends like we’ve planned. Might as well try to have extra fun just in case the flood gates open at midnight.

…That may be the first time I’ve ever sided with the logic of Pascal’s Wager.

Comments

  1. says

    At least it’s the cool version of Pascal’s wager, where you do extra awesome things just in case. Sounds like the right way to do it :)

  2. EvilKiru says

    Well, there was a small earthquake over in San Fransisco, but nothing else of note. Color me surprised (not).

  3. Wildy says

    6:02pm here in Adelaide. Nothing yet. At least the last time there was thunder to clearly point out the lack of anything happening.

  4. Couldn't think of a decent nickname says

    I’m sure if nothing happens today Harold Camping will gladly submit to the punishment the bible commands for false prophets, right?

  5. Pi Guy says

    6:30 am EST – still here. *sigh*

    At least it’s the cool version of Pascal’s wager, where you do extra awesome things just in case. Sounds like the right way to do it :)

    Hmmmm… “Pascal’s Wager: Party like the Apocalypse is tomorrow.” It has a nice, bumper stickery flow to it.

  6. penn says

    He can’t really reuse that explanation, but I’m sure he has some other explanation ready to go. He did always say the world would end today (October 21). But, he predicted an actual physical rapturing of the chosen on May 21 followed by 5 months of tribulation for the unchosen before the end of the world.

  7. Icaarus says

    See I’m hoping that it doesn’t happen until I’m already in the air. 8 hour flying times are not fun.

  8. elronxenu says

    It’s almost midnight in Sydney and Jehovah hasn’t done anything yet. What a useless excuse for a god. Still, given his previous record of incompetence, I should not be surprised.

  9. Mike says

    So, are all the Christians going to vanish into thin air or not? Cause personally, I’m looking forward to that bit.

  10. says

    Half five in the evening in Germany and still no sign of the apocalypse, not even a faint whiff of sulphuric vapours.

    Splendid weather, though.

  11. says

    I’m half way through a book. If the cRapture were to miraculously happen then I’m sure that God won’t mind waiting till I’ve finished it. I’ll be done in a few days.

    Also I’m at a beer festival this weekend and I don’t want to miss it. They have 60 different beers. Beer! What kind of asshat deity would deny a man access to 60 beers? No, he’ll just have to put it off till later.

    Tomorrow I’m going to try to convince my Christian chums that the cRapture did actually happen but they got left behind. It should keep me amused till I run out of ale.

  12. DJG says

    I know there’s still time to rapture it up, but I’m already taking bets on what excuse we’ll hear tomorrow. Camping has used up his one guaranteed rapture extension, and to my knowledge he hasn’t filed for a new extension at least fourteen days in advance, in accordance with the End of Days Act of 1973. So he can’t claim another time error.
    My own theory is that he’ll go for a simple spelling error. October 21 isn’t the day of rapture, it’s the day of rapûre (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rappie_pie). I can guarantee you that somewhere someone in Nova Scotia is eating that wretched gloop, so he’ll be able to claim the technical correctness of his prediction. It just hardly seems worth all the fuss, and drama, and emotional trauma, and financial ruin, and familial breakdown, and child abuse, to bring attention to an obscure French Canadian meal.

  13. RealityBasedSteve says

    I’m going to a Peter Frampton concert Saturday night, so I’m with the “Can we put this off till Monday?” crowd. I really won’t mind if the world ends on a Monday, but not a Friday.

    Steve

  14. Christina says

    Me too, Steve, and I’m flying in from Jersey to do so. I’d rather be left behind to hear Frampton.

  15. RealityBasedSteve says

    kewl… I’ll see ya at the Ryman. Frampton was the first stadium show I ever went to… still remember the lineup, Styx was the first opening act, then Rick Derringer, then Frampton, and the top of the bill was Steve Miller Band.

    Steve
    Who doesn’t remember at least one Dead concert he’s told he attended.

  16. schism says

    He’s already reused that excuse. This is his third or fourth round of end-times profiteering, remember.

  17. mitchelllee says

    I was raptured accidentally at 3:15 pm Eastern time, but When I explained the mix-up to Saint Peter he let me come back since I am an Atheist. He said I was lucky, it’s boring as hell up there..

  18. sailor1031 says

    Well shoot! It’s saturday morning and I’m still here. So is my christian neighbour. I guess I don’t get his Lexus and credit cards after all! Damn!

  19. says

    Woke up in Denmark
    (not heaven) this morning.So Harold,we need a new date,so we can prepare for a new rapture…wait,that’s not funny.

  20. Paul says

    The logic of Pascal’s Wager works for climate change, too. Four outcomes (at their extremes, anyway) – We do nothing and there is no problem; everything’s peachy. We do nothing and its a massive problem; vast tracts of land are rendered uninhabitable and nobody has anything to eat. we do something, and there is a problem; we might succeed in reducing or abating it. We do something and there is no problem; the globe and its inhabitants get healthier and we become more responsible animals.

    The risk of doing nothing far outweighs the risk of doing something, even completely irrespective of whether you think the issue is in doubt or not.

    :)

Leave a Reply