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May 14 2010

Why Boobquake failed: God’s relationship with mankind is passive aggressive and abusive

Kazem Sedighi apparently got wind that people around the world were laughing at his ridiculous claims that immodestly dressed women cause Earthquakes. Apparently we misunderstood what he really meant, so during this Friday’s prayer sermon, he offered further explanation:

“Some ask why (more) earthquakes and storms don’t occur in the Western world, which suffers from the slime of homosexuality, the slime of promiscuity and has plunged up to the neck” in immorality, he said.

“Who says they don’t occur? Storms take place in the U.S. and other parts of the world. We don’t say committing sin is the entire reason but it’s one of the reasons,” he said.

But, he said, “sometimes, God tests a nation. … (God says) if believers sin, We slap them because We love them and give them calamity in order to stop their bad deeds.”

“And those who have provoked God’s wrath, He allows them (to commit sins) so that they go to the bottom of hell,” Sedighi said.

Oh, well, in that case, that makes perfect sense! I totally understand now. God’s relationship with humans is really like a relationship with an irrational, passive aggressive, emotional abusive person.

Me: *puts on tank top*
God:
Me: What’s wrong?
God: Nothing.
Me: Are you sure? Do you not like this shirt?
God: It’s nothing.
Me: Okay *prepares to go out*
God: Ahem.
Me: What?
God: You should know what.
Me: I’m expected to read your mind? You know only you can do that.
God: Didn’t you read that book I gave you?
Me: Yeah, but it didn’t say anything about tank tops…
God: Whatever.
Me: Okay, well, I’m going out now.

And then three months later God slashes your tires, kills your cat, breaks your entire CD collection, and sends you to the bottom of hell.

Seriously God, if you created humans, you should really know how they learn. Punishing people months after they perform the naughty deed does not produce negative reinforcement. Our behavior isn’t going to improve if you conveniently make earthquakes and tornadoes and floods appear to be caused by natural means, irrespective of the morals of that area. Do you really want us to behave, or do you just take sadistic glee in watching the US sink into the ocean?

126 comments

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  1. 1
    Jessica Lee

    niiiiiiiceso god is a vengeful ex

  2. 2
    Someone Special

    I love you, Jen. :)

  3. 3
    libraboy

    This cleric’s relationship with God is like this lady I knew who had this horrible string of psycho relationships with men. She kept asking, “Why do I keep having these kind of relationships?!”…and I thought to myself, “The common factor in all these relationships is you.”

  4. 4
    Matt

    So… God really *doesn’t* punish sinners for anything once he’s decided they’ve “sinned too much” and condemned them to Hell. He just pesters them for a while when the sinners are sort of just starting to sin, slapping them and such.Thanks, cleric dude. You’ve just made it even clearer that what you (claim to) believe is a bunch of bullshit.

  5. 5
    Saskboy K.

    Moving the goal posts is for cheaters, and clerics who claim God is an abusive overseer, are cheaters.

  6. 6
    Snikkers

    Exactly! If he doesn’t want us to show our boobs then why doesn’t he just put a black censor bandage over them? Hell, they can do that on TV and God can’t???

  7. 7
    someguyinottawa

    if it makes you feel better, not all of us religiously inclined types are dogmatist nutters :)love from Canada!- Joel

  8. 8
    DawsonMcKay

    I’m an ultra-conservative and I’m sure we would disagree on many issues, but this is certainly not one of those topics. Loved your conversation with God in this post, but ya made him a little girly. God probably woulda been more like:Me: *puts on tank top*God: What the hell is that!?Me: A tank top.God: And you’re gonna wear that to have drinks out with your friends?Me: It’s just a shirt.God: It’s barely a shirt.Me: Come on… it’s just a cute top.God: Look- I know guys. I MADE guys. Me: So I should never dress cute because guys are lascivious!?God: Dress how you want.Me: Thanks.God: Hope you like earthquakes.~Proud conservative bookquake supporter

  9. 9
    Bam

    Boobquake didn’t fail! We should say “You’re right! We have the power to rain down the wrath of of the whatever from high atop the thing, so you need to bow down to us or this is your fate:”<img alt=”Boobquake” border=”0″ src=”http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t141/mbm539/th_80731953.gif”>

  10. 10
    bruce

    we need two show a little more

  11. 11
    Freyasgift

    Regarding the post; You, mademoiselle, rock!! Regarding the replies so far; You folks have already said anything I had to say.

  12. 12
    skepticalmedia

    So after his initial comments making him the laughing stock of the entire world, Kazem Sedighi tries to “explain” thereby putting his other foot in his mouth?! The only thing more stupid than appearing stupid is to further clarify to everyone just how stupid he is.

  13. 13
    Paula

    for a MUCH better understanding of why MALE DOMINANT religions DO the crazy things they DO read ” The woman’s encyclopedia of myths and secrets” by Barbara G. Walker Honored by the London Times educational supplement as the 1986 “book of the year”.

  14. 14
    Bob

    I can only imagine, then, that if God does not inform the evil, he also isn’t all that meticulous about making it clear what is good (I rather suspect the Garden of Eden and the whole fruit thing was a bit like Schrodinger’s Cat … everything is both good AND evil until you bite into the damn fruit).So we can figure that Sadeghi has it all wrong, as evinced by his having to clarify/spin his original remarks. Sometimes, it seems, God lets you run your mouth so the stupid becomes apparent …

  15. 15
    nancyfrance

    Personally, I figger, God made’m, and made men like’m, and there ain’t nuttin’ wrong ’bout showin’ them off.Sex is God’s way of proving She has a sense of humor…..

  16. 16
    Paco

    Brilliant and hilarious. Thank you!

  17. 17
    Heather

    I will not be passing this response along to my Logic Prof. I think he’s scandalized enough that I used Boobquake (properly cited and everything) as my argumentative essay topic for the semester.

  18. 18
    Will

    Would it be considered an aggressive war strategy if we sent a large number of risqué supermodels to the middle east?

  19. 19
    Niki

    Oooooh.. so true. Where has this blog been all my life? Boobquake? absolutely hysterical.

  20. 20
    Sal Bro

    With the head-to-toe bulletproof gear they’d have to wear to survive 10 minutes, they might as well be in burkas. Unless they’re sent in in skintight bulletproof catsuits… Sh*t, if we’re going that far, they might as well be able to shoot from their bosoms, too.

  21. 21
    John

    And when the calamity comes, just remember: He’ll claim you were asking for it by dressing like that.

  22. 22
    Christine

    Jen, you are amazing! Look how you, an American woman, rocked this Mullah’s world so badly he needed to make a sermon in response to you! Now that’s the power of a woman over one small man.

  23. 23
    Crystal

    Amen! Loving this post and all the intelligent, witty and thoughtful comments!

  24. 24
    Nancy Lerch

    Release … THE FEMBOTS!!!!

  25. 25
    duckandcover

    God is apparently a *busy* passive-aggressive ex.God: Oh, yes .. I remember. When she wore that shirt like, two months ago? Well, screw her!*typhoon*

  26. 26
    Christine

    Sorry, should have said *small minded* man. Men are great too!

  27. 27
    Iason Ouabache

    I wish I could figure out which of my sins caused the three separate thunderstorms that hit me last night. According to Kazem Sedighi it could have been anything from the last several months or even years. Plus I’m sure those storms also hit some very devote religious people around me as collateral damage. How are we supposed to learn anything this way?

  28. 28
    Stefan Nolde

    I always pointed out to jehovas witnesses that if they were right about all those tests and cheats, even if i could believe in their idea of god, i couldn’t like him very much. But this is even better.

  29. 29
    PaulieJ

    I’m guessing that “Far better to remain silent and appear a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” is not part of his teachings to his flock.

  30. 30
    Diane Gee

    ::Me, putting on tank top::God: AhemMe: Umm, what?God: You look hot.Me: Its August in Michigan, of course, I’m hot.God: Thats not the hot I meant.Me: Uhhh, Thank you?????God: You’re wel… no! I mean you shouldn’t look hot.Me: You made me. You make everything perfect right?God: Of course I do. Now cover it up.Me: So men walk around topless when its 95 with 90% humidity and I;m supposed to BE hot to NOT LOOK hot because you made me hot?God: Don’t confuse the issue.Me: Men! God: SighMe: Look, unless you want to change YOUR weather, YOUR men’s appreciation of your creation, or my BIOLOGY; I’m wearing this. You made it this way. Deal.God: Women!Me: SighGod: Look, I can make you suffer.Me: You already have, you shoulda created yourself a Goddess and we wouldn;t be having this discussion. Me: ::stomps off:::God: Damn!

  31. 31
    Pablo

    Is it just me, or does God’s approach, as described by the cleric, sound a lot like….random acts that occur in nature with no rhyme or reason?It’s kind of like when God caused me to have that hot streak at the Craps table, until he busted me out with snakeeyes. Unfortunately, the next day when I went back, he was no where to be seen.

  32. 32
    Sciamachy

    Can I get a restraining order against God?

  33. 33
    Adrian

    Failed? What are you, kidding? We were having gorgeous weather in Montreal in April for the first time in forever, and then BAM, the day after boobquake we get hit with a HAILSTORM! If that’s not a biblical sign, I don’t know what is.Thank you very much, -women-!

  34. 34
    MoonlitRebecca

    I know you’ll probably hate it but a few other Christians and I who participated in bookquake (you know, for science) think that you actually really performed the will of God. You helped bring a lot of light to this mans ridiculous ideas and may have helped those around him see how incorrect his belief system is! This is one of the reasons I don’t criticize others for their beliefs (or lack of them) or try to change them. Your non-belief helped to draw attention to something that needed it.I think bookquake truly was a huge success and I am glad I got to participate in it.

  35. 35
    MoonlitRebecca

    Or we could put them in a giant pope-mobile style thing complete with stripper poles to dance on. Bulletproof AND sexy!

  36. 36
    Christine

    Perhaps you could double check the meaning of the word ‘girly.’ As far as I know, it means ‘like a girl.’ Perhaps some are not very forthcoming. However, in terms of my own three daughters, let me tell you, Hell hath no fury like them!:-)

  37. 37
    adam_no_eve

    If God was an Iranian Cleric, here’s how that conversation would go.Me: *puts on tank top*God: I’m blinnnnnnnnndMe: What’s wrong?God: You have blinded me with your skin!Me: That’s kind of odd. Didn’t you create my skin?God: I did it without looking.Me: HmmmmmGod: Remember in my book about the curse of vanity?Me: Yeah but I still like showing skin. God: You are a sinner and I condemn you!Me: What about the “be fruitful and procreate”?God: You can’t do that without showing skin?Me: You want me to go into a bar dressed in a Hejab?God: Why a bar? Try meeting a guy at your local Mosque.Me: We’re not even allowed to pray with the men? God: So wait outside with baked cookies. Me: Bake cookies? Is this the middle ages? arghhhhGod: How I wish…that was my golden age.Me: Okay, well, I’m going out now.

  38. 38
    RC

    Thank you so much for being a voice of reason! Reading your entries is a delight every single time. It’s always saddens me, when people actually think like that Sedighi guy. As if he of all people could know, what a god would think. It’s just ego masquerading as something, they claim to be good and righteous. Which it’s NOT. Duh. Didn’t want to digress, but such statements are always so outrageous…

  39. 39
    Mamph

    …them, and some bacon bits??? *MU-ha-ha-ha*

  40. 40
    mepsipax

    Do you really want us to behave? Really?

  41. 41
    MissMartin

    This isn’t so much a topic of what God is, as much as what God is according to one crazy person who has too much political power. And thanks for making boobquake happen. You rock

  42. 42
    Davena

    Heather,anyway you can post that paper? I’d love to read it!

  43. 43
    Heather

    Here you go, one paper. And it was one of only 2 As in the class. :D

  44. 44
    Maitri

    1) Religious folks like to point at New Orleans to show that the laissez-faire, culturally-liberal town took a hit during Katrina. Sad thing is residential areas were badly flooded while the Gay Quarter and Bourbon Street were and are just fine.2) I’ve been meaning to point this out for a while, but the Douche-tollah didn’t say that immodesty (showing cleavage, etc.) causes earthquakes and other natural disasters. He said feminine immodesty induces promiscuity in the opposite sex, which then causes earthquakes. How did your study measure the increase in male promiscuity during Boobquake?I think this says so much more than exposed boobies causing earthquakes. You don’t have to go as far as Iran to find assholes that say the feminine body, tight jeans or racy clothing, i.e. the devil elicits unwanted arousal in men, when it’s men who can’t keep themselves in check. As I say to the sanctimonious who believe a woman can’t be raped if she didn’t place herself in that situation: It’s my right to wear what I want, even go naked if I choose, and walk down a street at 3AM. It’s a man’s responsibility not to touch me because of it.So, when is Boobquake Deux planned to test such abhorrent claims made right here in America?

  45. 45
    Brigette

    Well, I am five months pregnant and I have a lot of heat coming off of me so I wear tank tops. How is God going to come after me???

  46. 46
    Kyle

    It certainly does make sinning the more attractive option: Do well, and God punishes your bad deeds. Sin, and he allows it to happen.

  47. 47
    Timbo

    Nice piece of logic there libraboy.

  48. 48
    Owlette

    Sooooo…1. Who told you God *isn’t* a girl? I’m just sayin’.2. The ways women dress *provoke* men? So the women should watch it? Dude, that’s the burqa argument.But I get your point, and I guess we do agree that this Muslim cleric is offensive.My idea is that if men can’t control themselves because they see some cleavage or an elbow, they should be blinded so there are no more problems. Wonder why that was never considered?

  49. 49
    LBO

    Is the bottom of Hell that much worse than some other place in Hell? I mean, it’s Hell right? Seems to me that if we go to Hell for showing our cleavage then we will be dressed JUST right for the weather! :)

  50. 50
    Calilasseia

    Jen, I don’t know if anyone has ever pointed you in the direction of this, but I think you will find this darkly and ironically amusing.The rabidly patriarchal and misogynistic religion that this rancid old cleric is a part of … the same religion that treats women as ninth-class citizens, somewhere below camels in the social hierarchy … guess what its holiest artefact is?Here’s a photo of where it is situated:http://www.bbc.co.uk/berkshire…And here’s some photos of what’s behind the curtains:http://www.toursaudiarabia.comhttp://www.sunna.info/souwar/dhttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_OUrlhttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h1HT…I’ll leave it to you to put two and two together on this one. :)

  51. 51
    rchenry

    Hell must be a fucking big place!

  52. 52
    robin sundstrom

    Could you please re-read what you said and note that you *do*, in fact, criticize others for their beliefs? Just saying….

  53. 53
    Scott Jones

    As I’ve said before; I’ve yet to hear an argument for the Christian God that was not either flawed or made him out to be an utter monster I would refuse to worship.I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

  54. 54
    Pounce

    I am not into “boobs” but if they work as an wmd against certain numbskull clerics… i support it!No, i really love this idea, instead using an armee and bombs deflating such people by satire and humor…Gouvernments should sponsor taskforces and think tanks who invent such events!Bringing the oppposition down with humor instead bullets?Soo much better, and the collateral damage is zero, humor can beaimed so spot on!

  55. 55
    Alan R Freshwater

    Love you Jen, and your sweet voice of reason. When will people realise that all Gods are created by humans in the idealised image of man and most come from a time when the ideal man was a powerful no nonsense parochial stone age tribal leader. Recent attempts to remodel using a loving new age guy only create more confusion.

  56. 56
    Craig

    I’m always amused by religionists who say, “Wow, isn’t that other religion weird and stupid?! But mine’s totally realistic, no really, I promise!”

  57. 57
    The Mad Dreamer

    Pretty sure female-dominated religions are just as crazy. There’s that whole common factor of being a religion, after all.

  58. 58
    A Student

    Read the Qur’an, Allah, Muhammad’s (piss be upon him) alter ego, is a sadist. So, all of the other nonsense follows.Suggested reading: http://www.faithfreedom.org.

  59. 59
    Jadehawk

    passive-aggressive behavior is not “girly”; it’s just passive-aggressive. Testosterone-poisoned males who abuse their significant other’s are passive-aggressive, too.check your gender stereotypes, please.

  60. 60
    Jadehawk

    looks like a Georgia O’Keefe painting to me; I have no idea what you’re suggesting! ;-)

  61. 61
    Brendan

    Actually, Christine, you might have been right first time, with “small”…….ahem…….you know.

  62. 62
    Isolde

    I actually fell off the chair laughing.Nice one!!!! :D

  63. 63
    Trey Bierman

    What if we all played the next card in the deck. Nakedquake. ;D

  64. 64
    April Hoy

    So, either this is an old dc-10 fuselage OR an alien art sculpture of an inverted clitoris? I can’t tell.

  65. 65
    Cici

    God isn’t like that at all. It’s just sad that people twist things to their own liking.

  66. 66
    murmur55

    Hmm…primitive.

  67. 67
    murmur55

    …i love it when the pus just starts leaking out…keep up the pressure, Jen #boobquake

  68. 68
    Jadehawk

    same thing. people always imagine that their God thinks and likes what they think and like. There was an interesting study on this, actually: http://www.pnas.org/content/ea

  69. 69
    Pounce

    We need to tighten the screw….Suggestions?It has to be more immodest than BQ, still legal and not “adult only”I know it is hard but there should be something do-able.I envision an worldwide movement of “We make evil people look stupid, weekly”The beauty is, terrorists can kill single “outstanding leaders”, but if we make it an movement of millions without any “outstanding leaders” there tactics are doomed from the start!The events need to be funny, but in an intelligent way and fitting for the target. (the mohammed drawings piss of the broad masses, it is stupid in my eyes, we want to make the radikals look like idiots, not carpet bomb the whole muslim world)

  70. 70
    Calilasseia

    Not having seen any of her art, I’ll have to take your word for it until I can spare some time to search for some to look at. (My own personal preferences are the likes of Rossetti, Waterhouse and John William Godward).When I was introduced to this some time ago, let’s just say that my reaction included the phrase “you can’t make this up”. Along with the arising need to change underwear after the best part of 15 minutes spent on the floor practically epileptic with laughter.I’m waiting for the first stand up comic to be brave enough to include this in his material. I’d LOVE it if Lewis Black turned his particular brand of inventive invective on this, but I’d prefer not for him to have to spend the rest of his days dodging people wearing dynamite vests.PS: tangential diversion … how does one include bold, italic or other text modifications in posts here? Only it’s cramping my style somewhat lacking the tools.

  71. 71
    Andrew Hall

    Kazem is king of spin. He should go on the Sunday news shows and explain how God shows the love by slapping people around.http://laughinginpurgatory.blo

  72. 72
    Denise Kerr

    Showing ankles used to be considered sinful. Baby, we’ve come a long way!

  73. 73
    Peter, Gemany

    So we need Kazem Sedighi to explain us, how God thinks and works. And… so we have somethin to laugh.

  74. 74
    David's Not Here

    What’s the difference between the top and bottom of hell, real estate prices? Is hell a pit or a hill, and if it’s a pit, do the people at the top just defy gravity?This guy remindes me of my christian co-worker who’s constantly explaining the difference between God’s chastisment (for his believers), and judgement (for Jewish atheists like me).

  75. 75
    LogicHasRules

    Refute it.

  76. 76
    A Student

    I’ve already commented elsewhere to raise the ante by adding Tanquake and Hairquake. Suntans apparently are evil (I don’t know how the mollahs can tell), even if obtained under Islamically permissible circumstances, say, completely alone in a courtyard with no outside visibility. Sunna (Islamic personal law) requires men and women to shave body hair and men to grow beards. So, combine the three and get Boob-Tan-Hairquake. Ladies, let your body hair grow and show off your tans while you wear tank tops without bras (reduced modesty)! This should really make Iran rock!

  77. 77
    A Student

    It’s also full of women, according to Muhammad (piss be upon him). It seems that Allah created women for hellfire by forcing them to menstruate, thereby not being able to always observe the Ramadan fast.

  78. 78
    A Student

    He’s just following his Profit Muhammad (piss be upon him). See http://www.faithfreedom.org for more information.

  79. 79
    Nan

    Wow….awesome paper!

  80. 80
    Michelle

    Actually, yeah. Sort of. Many of the OT prophets refer to Israel as an unfaithful partner.

  81. 81
    Mr. L. D.er

    You forget, my dear, that only women commit sins, men are just innocent, naughty beings that act wild and crazy. ( :-/) Gosh, I’d love to meet this “messenger of God”, a conversation with him must be a non-stop comedy/tragedy roller coaster.

  82. 82
    Ridtheworldofhate

    If promiscuous women cause earthquakes, then perhaps Muslim men abducting little boys and using them for sex slaves cause hurricanes. Yeeah, that’s it. We’ll just blames all the hurricanes and cyclones on Muslim men, who want no more than to come out of the closet.

  83. 83
    Pounce

    This allows guys to take part too!Lets see this hairy chests and backs!!!!On the plus side it adds to the immodesty index with girls who like the bears <g></g>

  84. 84
    A Student

    Here are the precise commands:Sahih Bukhari,Volume 7, Book 72, Number 777:Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic region, clipping the nails and cutting the moustaches short.” Volume 7, Book 72, Number 778: Narrated Ibn ‘Umar: Allah’s Apostle said, “To shave the pubic hair. to clip the nails and to cut the moustaches short, are characteristics of the Fitra.” Volume 7, Book 72, Number 779: Narrated Abu Huraira : I heard the Prophet saying. “Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the moustaches short, clipping the nails, and depilating the hair of the armpits.” Malik’s Muwatta, Book 49, Number 49.3.3: Yahya related to me from Malik from Said ibn Abi Said al-Maqburi from his father that Abu Hurayra said, “There are five things from the fitra: cutting the nails, trimming the moustache, removing the hair from the armpit, shaving the pubic region and circumcision.”So, both males and females are required to shave their armpits and pubes and to be circumcised. The last, when applied to women, is called “female genital mutilation.” Efforts are ongoing to eliminate this practice, which is illegal in every Western country and unheard of in the East.

  85. 85
    ATG

    I just hope that you may really know God once…just honestly give him a try and he won’t fail.I said a try….not tempting….

  86. 86
    Helen M. Downs

    I have a suggestion as to how the momentum of Boobquake can be used – (it and other info is on our ‘Creative Devotions’ page below). My suggestion is that there is nothing more paramount in this whole Masculine/Feminine imbalance thing, and in the precarious state of our world, than that the people of the world must voice and act upon their agreement and genuine concern for Mother Earth. Please go to the link below as I feel the issue is really important and urgent…With thanks.http://www.facebook.com/pages/

  87. 87
    Jadehawk

    oh, I thought the O’Keefe thing was a pretty well-known trope.Anyway, here’s a sample of her art; I’m sure you’ll immediately see what I was talking about:http://www.thefineartcompany.c…:-)

  88. 88
    Jadehawk

    link fail. let’s see if this works this timehttp://www.thefineartcompany.c

  89. 89
    Dave

    OK, how about this. I know stuff has gone wrong between us. Here’s what I’ve done about it; I hope it’s enough for you. I’ve laid down my life for you (and taken it up again to show I’m not just some bloke who spouts some great but meaningless stuff about being the author of life then dies and stays dead). Everything you ever have done and will do wrong has been completely forgiven and I won’t hold any of it against you ever. If you’re ever sick I’ll fix that. We can talk as often or as little as you like. You can take this offer or leave it; it’s entirely up to you. I’m not going to force myself on you, which is why I can’t give you absolute and final proof of my existence, but there is plenty for you to go on if you want to. It’s your choice. If you want it, I’ve got a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. But if not that’s fine and I can handle that. And by the way I think you’re great and I really like you.

  90. 90
    Lugosi

    It has long been my contention that God has lousy aim. For example, with Katrina the lord was attempting to punish the sinful gays of New Orleans. However, He ended up sparing the French Quarter (which is where the gays are) and instead flooded the poor areas of the city…. Not to mention what He did to areas of Mississippi, which was positively sinful.Then there’s the Westboro Baptist Church folks who are always telling us that God is killing our troops because our nation condones homosexuality. In that case, shouldn’t He be killing the gays right in America instead of our heterosexual soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan?Is God’s lousy aim deliberate? Or does He just have lusy vision because of his advanced age?

  91. 91
    Pounce

    I do not really like having much hair in my armpits but i am ready to bring sacrifices…

  92. 92
    Pounce

    I wan to see your aim at an age of 6000 or 13billion years, pick your choice…

  93. 93
    Dave

    Also: I’m not a monster, although I get frequently misrepresented as one by people who don’t know me. I don’t want you to “worship” me, and you don’t have to spend any time on your knees if you don’t want to. The position of your body makes no difference to the state of our relationship. I especially don’t want you to be “religious” (man how I hate religion!); what I just want is for us to be mates.

  94. 94
    A Student

    That’s the spirit!BTW, did you notice that Muhammad (piss be upon him) had trouble counting? The first two ahadith (plural of hadith, meaning “story”) show <5 ways of fitra. It’s surprising that his editor let these “authentic” (translation of “sahih”) ahadith get through.

  95. 95
    A Student

    Maybe you don’t remember how God answered Pat Robertson’s prayers? Years ago, a hurricane threatened Virginia Beach, Robertson’s headquarters. Robertson and his followers then prayed the hurricane away. Or, so they claimed.

  96. 96
    Metal_Warrior

    I really like your point of view here – it’s the same I tend to drop on a discussion that goes this way. But I doubt I was ever able to pack it into such a nice wrapping.Nice work!Greez from München (Munich – the real one)

  97. 97
    Metal_Warrior

    Well, after that long he should be able to aim at a pinhead – from Pluto. I just needed 3 months of CounterStrike Source to be able to aim a person down over a hundred meters without scoping, so guess what’s reachable at a period that long.

  98. 98
    A Student

    Then, God has forsaken Afghanistan for its pederasty. Maybe you’ve seen the picture of the mollah smooching a boy. It used to a rite of passage for a Hazara boy to be raped by Pashtuns. :eww:

  99. 99
    Boob Quake & Nukes

    http://www.slate.com/id/224633…Long Live Democratic SeismologyChile survived its huge earthquake relatively well. Iran would be a different story.By Christopher HitchensPosted Monday, March 1, 2010, at 10:32 AM ET… people are beginning to notice that the likelihood of perishing in an earthquake, or of being utterly dispossessed by it, is as much a function of the society in which one lives as it is of proximity to a fault. A most intriguing article in the New York Times of Feb. 24, titled “Disaster Awaits Cities In Earthquake Zones,” pointed out that millions of people now live in unplanned and jerry-built mega-cities—such as Istanbul, Turkey; Karachi, Pakistan; Katmandu, Nepal; and Lima, Peru—that are earthquake-prone and could easily become the sites of mass extermination. The instruments of this would be what Dr. Roger Bilham, a seismologist at the University of Colorado, calls “an unrecognized weapon of mass destruction: houses.” Across the world, millions of people either live or work in structures that have been termed “rubble in waiting.”… “In Tehran, Iran’s capital, Dr. Bilham has calculated that one million people could die in a predicted quake similar in intensity to the one in Haiti.” (Italics added.) Tehran is built in “a nest of surrounding geologic faults,” and geologists there have long besought the government to consider moving the unprotected and crumbling capital, or at least some of its people, in anticipation of the inevitable disaster.But the Iranian regime, as we know, has other priorities entirely, and it has worked very hard to insulate not its people from earthquakes, but itself from its people. I remember sitting in one of Tehran’s epic traffic snarls a few years ago and thinking, “What if a big one was to hit now?” This horrible thought was succeeded by two even more disturbing ones: What if the giant shudder came at night, when citizens were packed tightly into unregulated and code-free apartment buildings? And what would happen to the secret nuclear facilities, both under the ground and above it? I know what the mullahs would say-that the will of Allah was immutable. But what would the survivors think when they looked around the (possibly irradiated) ruins and saw how disposable their leaders had considered them to be?… it should become part of our humanitarianism and our public diplomacy to warn the Iranian people of the man-made reasons that the results of a natural calamity would be hideously multiplied in their case. This, together with the offer of immediate help in earthquake-proofing, enhanced from our experiences in California, is nothing less than a moral responsibility. Together with the cross-border implications of an earthquake plus ill-maintained covert nuclear facilities, it also drives home the point that the future of Iran is not the “internal affair” of a regime that dreams luridly of one apocalypse while inviting a cataclysm of a quite different sort. Down with the earthquake deniers! Long live democratic seismology!

  100. 100
    Scott Jones

    I’ll pass. For one, you laid down your life without me asking you to. Had you asked, I would have told you no, I would never ask another sapient being of any sort to sacrifice its life to me, much less for transgressions I have made that come as a part of being human, not because of my actions as an individual. To be fair, it was a really hollow gesture on your part; had you died and stayed dead, I might feel inclined to take up the offer you left out of pity, but instead you have made death an impermanent thing for yourself, whereas it is permanent for me; you might as well sit in a wheelchair then emphasize you can walk again in front of a paraplegic. I wish to be held fully accountable for anything I do that is above and beyond human nature at its most basic level (i.e. being human, being male, being white, etc.), for those things at the most basic level, I make no apology for, as I have little control over them.As far as not forcing me, you say that as if there are no strings attached. If there truly are no strings attached (i.e. no chance of damnation for my refusal), then there is little reason to sway me in your direction, given, as previously stated I will fight you all the way down if there were any attempt at coercion. As for your offer of health and prosperity, I’ll take my chances. I’ll play the odds, I don’t want to make a deal with the devil or with you to further myself when I can do it under my own power.

  101. 101
    Scott Jones

    My “knees” are metaphorical; if I accept a debt to you as you wish me to, I am on my knees before you. But I have no evidence I owe you a debt, as I don’t see any change in the world since the time you came. And I am not concerned about the afterlife, because it may last for eternity, but if I am able to comprehend such a thing, I am no longer human. We are inherently incapable of perceiving such a thing, and I feel that if I exist in any state after this life, I will not be myself, and thus will be concerned over that affair when I reach it.

  102. 102
    Sal Bro

    This thread is dying, but it took me a while to compile data. Anyhow…To further examine Sedighi’s claims, I’ve graphed events* in my own relationship with God over the past year:http://yfrog.com/2ofig1gjFrom Figure 1 it’s obvious that God hasn’t taken kindly to my transgressions. It seems my own immorality has provoked Him to commit powerful acts of tantrum-throwing. You all’d better be sorely afraid–I’m still awaiting his response to New Year’s Eve.*Earthquake data simulated. Immorality data only partly simulated.

  103. 103
    A Student

    The whole point of Sedighi’s nonsense is that he very well knows that an earthquake is coming, regardless of women’s behavior, as does the rest of the regime. So, they want to pin the blame in advance on their enemies, specifically, rebellious, “immoral”, regime-hating women, thereby restoring the regime’s legitimacy. There are also rumors that the regime wants to empty out Tehran anyway. It’s more likely that they’re contemplating an Iranian Cultural Revolution: driving out the disloyal middle class and giving their property to poor regime-supporters, or, perhaps, newly supporting, formerly poor, regime-supporters. I think this would provoke an intervention by what’s left of the regular military and put the regime out of the people’s misery.

  104. 104
    muhamad

    its not carpet bombing the muslim world but there is a reason why violent radicalism thrives in islamic culture. the attitudes we rail against are firmly ensconced in the culture as a whole and the people who protested (sometimes violently) against the danish cartoons were normal mainstream muslims, not just the violent extremists.muslim culture is rooted in arab culture which is oppressive, intolerant and violent. until islam undergoes its own renaissance there will be no change.in the meanwhile we can show people who believe that our compromising and accommodating them is a sign of weakness, that we can laugh in the face of their threats.

  105. 105
    Heather Clemenceau

    BTW, where was Pat Robertson while #Boobquake was ongoing? I’m surprised that he didn’t claim the Deepwater Horizon spill wasn’t a “pre-taliation” for #boobquake or gay shrimp/oysters or something equally as relevant……..

  106. 106
    Alison

    Islam is all about double standards. One minute women are not allowed to wear a tank top or show a little cleavage, the next minute god is handing out virgin girls left, right and centre to muslim men in paradise/heaven or whatever you want to call it. It certainly won’t feel like paradise to the virgins now will it?I think the conversation with god goes something like this:Muslim Man: So hey god, where’s my virgins?God: Right over there, sitting on the edge of your bed.Muslim Man: All I see is a wrinkled old hag. What’s she doing in my paradise?God: She is your virgin, go and enjoy yourself.Muslim Man: But where are the 74 young girls you promised?God: Did you say 74 virgins? I thought you said a 74 year old virgin. Too late now son, you only get one life on earth.

  107. 107
    Gary Rumain

    Do you often talk to god?

  108. 108
    fionnchu

    How did dinosaurs or trilobytes sin to provoke their Creator’s wrath in primordial, very-prelapsarian eons? Quakes & floods: did they all start 6000 years ago by the cleric’s reckoning? I guess Allah’s trapping us sinners into believing a fossil record.

  109. 109
    tgirsch

    Ms. McCreight:Love the boobquake idea. I’m a fan. That said, I’m afraid I must take exception with something you’ve written here. It’s a common mistake, but one which bugs me. You say:Punishing people months after they perform the naughty deed does not produce negative reinforcement.[Bold mine]Punishment and reinforcement are opposites. You reinforce behaviors you want to encourage, and punish those you want to discourage. Positive reinforcement encourages desired behavior by adding something that was not previously there — for example, a cash reward. Negative reinforcement encourages desired behavior by taking something away — for example, removing a curfew or other restriction. In both cases, the goal is to encourage a behavior through some type of reinforcement.Punishment also has positive and negative variations. Positive punishment might be something like a spanking or a fine, while negative punishment would be something like taking away your internet access for a week, or taking away your tank tops.Normally, I’d let this go, since it’s an ubiquitous mistake, but with your love of science, and the technical precision that comes with it, I thought it important to point this out.Have a nice day![/Pedant][/Permanently scarred by B.F. Skinner]

  110. 110
    A Student

    You’re wrong there. Muslim Arab culture is rooted in Islam. Islam is the disease, the culture is its expression. It’s not like Christianity which could be reformed because it had drifted far from Jesus’ teachings of love, peace, nonviolence and forgiveness. Muhammad, on the other hand, was a narcissist who engaged in rape, murder, pillage and pedophilia, to name a few sins. If you can prove otherwise, you can win $100,000. See http://www.faithfreedom.org/?p… for details.

  111. 111
    A Student

    Here’s another article for your perusal, “Can Islam be Reformed?” http://www.faithfreedom.org/11

  112. 112
    The Walrus

    “We slap them because We love them and give them calamity in order to stop their bad deeds…”So finally, we get back to the three gods that got Rushdie into so much trouble. There can’t just be one if they sat “We”. Unless it’s the Queen of England.

  113. 113
    A Student

    Just because Allah can’t decide whether to speak in the first person plural or third person masculine singular doesn’t mean the Qur’an is his book. Or are referring to the three goddesses in the Satanic verses which Satan revealed to save Muhammad’s (piss be upon him) life only to have Jibril retract them. Hmmm. Satan saved Muhammad (piss buh). Makes me wonder…

  114. 114
    A Student

    I mean’t “isn’t his book” in the previous post. There’s nothing like a double negative which is truly doubly negative.

  115. 115
    Desert G

    The bloke is a retard.

  116. 116
    B Tasker

    Your comment reminds me of a skit by a comedian (I forget which one – May have been Tim Minchin)All that’s important is the punchline;God: I never said the virgins would be female!

  117. 117
    MP

    Doesnt that pre-homo-sapiens-perception of religion proof time travel ?

  118. 118
    Hugo Grinebiter

    For that matter, did he say they would be human virgins? Point of information, I believe female Muslims are promised 74 virile young men, which makes rather more sense.Well, I guess them primitive horny Hejazites needed to be promised this, being unwilling to do the right thing out of a pure ethical sense. How very different from our modern American Christians, who are promised high yields on their investments in megachurch-fronted companies!

  119. 119
    Hugo Grinebiter

    No, “moustaches” are plural, so count as two. :-)

  120. 120
    Agden

    This cleris is….interesting…. I thought that Islam followed the Old Testament as well as the Koran. God clearly says in the Old Testament, after the flood, that he will not send any disasters to punish all of humanity ever again (until the end days). It makes your “job” as atheists that bit easier when even the leaders of large religious groups don’t know all the details of their own religion…

  121. 121
    Valhar2000

    It’s not that she is a bad person who deserves her psychos, it’s that she specifically picks the psychos, which is how she gets them. That’s what I understood, anyway.

  122. 122
    Valhar2000

    Thanks, Joel! This atheist finds that very soothing. :)

  123. 123
    Valhar2000

    I think you should rephrase that to “can be passive-aggresive”. Some abusers are anything but passive, after all. Other than that, spot on.

  124. 124
    Valhar2000

    putting his other foot in his mouth?!Well, you can’t say he is not conscientious.

  125. 125
    emoticons facebook

    I really didn’t thought about this situation what you are going to tell me for imagination about chatting with god. God will be able to do make any disaster upon us if we not behave like a man and going to broke rules of universe, then something happens that we can’t thought !! It’s Dangerous like Never You Seen and before one step of your Thought !!http://end-of-the-world-in2012

  126. 126
    see who views your facebook

    Many Americans and an increasing number of Western Europeans have been misled into a false understanding of the proper relationship between man and God by the principles of democracy.  But consider the beginning of the American Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal ….”  God is not the equal of man.  God deliberately and intentionally made man inferior to Himself, limited in power and knowledge. Hence, it is only right for the Supreme Being to have authority to lay down the law for inferior beings who are His subjects.

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