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Apr 06 2010

Lesbian teen sent to fake prom

Remember the story of Constance McMillen, the Mississippi high school senior who wanted to go to prom in a tux with her girlfriend, and then the school canceled prom? And then how the ACLU sued their ass off and the judge said she had to be allowed to go? Oh, well they sent Constance to prom alright...a fake prom.

A lesbian student in Mississippi who sued her school for the right to bring her girlfriend to the prom said she was sent to a fake prom instead.

Constance McMillen, 18, told The Advocate that last month’s invitation to an alternate prom was a sham, saying that most students attended another dance organized by parents at a secret location.

“They had two proms and I was only invited to one of them,” McMillen told the magazine. “The one that I went to had seven people there, and everyone went to the other one I wasn’t invited to.”

“It hurts my feelings,” she said.

Itawamba Agricultural High School cancelled its prom over the controversy sparked by McMillen’s attempt to overturn the school’s policy banning same-sex prom dates.

Las month, a federal judge ruled that the school district violated McMillen’s constitutional rights, though did not reinstate the prom.

According to McMillen, the prom she attended was at a country club. She said of the five other students at the country club, two had learning disabilities.

“They had the time of their lives,” McMillen said. “That’s the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn’t have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom].”

…Fulton, Mississippi is officially the most horrible, bigoted, stupid town in the United States. How can you hate someone so much because of their sexuality to do this? This isn’t some neighborhood party where a couple of kids tricked Constance into going to the wrong place. These are parents and community members being cruel to a teenager. Just send all the undesirables to another building. Absolutely despicable.

Constance, get the fuck out of there and don’t come back. Use that scholarship to go to a good college, educate yourself, and rise above the muck that you happened to get stuck in. These people don’t fucking deserve you.

53 comments

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  1. 1
    BeamStalk

    What a horrible community.

  2. 2
    BeamStalk

    What a horrible community.

  3. 3
    Charity

    That actually made me tear up. How sad that there are no adults in that community who see how wrong it is to treat another human being, let alone a teenager, like that.

  4. 4
    Charity

    That actually made me tear up. How sad that there are no adults in that community who see how wrong it is to treat another human being, let alone a teenager, like that.

  5. 5
    Gabriel Garcia

    That is just… wow.

    I am certainly not one of humanity's greatest admirers, I'm borderline cynical when it comes to people in general.

    But this is just… What is wrong with people that they will go so far just to satisfy their own hatred?

  6. 6
    Gabriel Garcia

    That is just… wow.I am certainly not one of humanity’s greatest admirers, I’m borderline cynical when it comes to people in general.But this is just… What is wrong with people that they will go so far just to satisfy their own hatred?

  7. 7
    Joé McKen

    The English language needs a word that combines the quality of “bigots”, the derision of “morans”, the incredulity of “WTF” and the anger of “assholes”. Then, we could use an illustration of the Itawamba school board & co. under its dictionary entry.

    Douchebags. I couldn’t agree with your last paragraph more. Let’s hope Constance feels the same way. (Not that I see how she wouldn’t.)

  8. 8
    Joé McKen

    The English language needs a word that combines the quality of “bigots”, the derision of “morans”, the incredulity of “WTF” and the anger of “assholes”. Then, we could use an illustration of the Itawamba school board & co. under its dictionary entry.Douchebags. I couldn’t agree with your last paragraph more. Let’s hope Constance feels the same way. (Not that I see how she wouldn’t.)

  9. 9
    Billy Deaton

    In the words of the grat Phil Ochs: Mississippi, find yourself another country to be part of.

  10. 10
    Billy Deaton

    In the words of the grat Phil Ochs: Mississippi, find yourself another country to be part of.

  11. 11
    Sili

    I honestly don't understand how they thought they could get away with it. The eyes of the world pretty literally were on them, and they still went ahead with this dumbfuckery.

    I'm not surprised that they unthinkingly publicised the photos on Facebook afterwards, though. That seems to be the norm these days.

    Particularly delicious – as pointed out elsewhere – black bigots! Almost as much fun as the state of Israel.

  12. 12
    Sili

    I honestly don’t understand how they thought they could get away with it. The eyes of the world pretty literally were on them, and they still went ahead with this dumbfuckery.I’m not surprised that they unthinkingly publicised the photos on Facebook afterwards, though. That seems to be the norm these days.Particularly delicious – as pointed out elsewhere – black bigots! Almost as much fun as the state of Israel.

  13. 13
    Three Ninjas

    If their God is the one true God, he can suck my dick.

  14. 14
    Antagonist Jason

    If their God is the one true God, he can suck my dick.

  15. 15
    Scott

    I started writing a rambling comment about small Mississippi towns, but it was dragging on too long. So I'll summarize;

    Fuck Fulton, fuck small town politics, fuck Dixiecrats reapplying their disgust at people different than them to the LBGT movement.

    I grew up in one of the larger towns in Mississippi (population 15,000), so it wasn't quite as bad. The small towns with populations under 5,000 (like Fulton) are the worst. They're essentially plantations; a couple of rich white landowning families decide how they're run, and what happens in them.

    The bait and switch prom is pretty goddamn unsurprising to me. It's exactly the sort of bullshit I'd expect them to pull, after the already huge bullshit of canceling the publicly funded prom in favor of a private one.

    When it was first announced donations had been taken up and an outsider was going to foot the bill for the prom, I knew this was going to happen.

    And I rambled anyway.

  16. 16
    Scott

    I started writing a rambling comment about small Mississippi towns, but it was dragging on too long. So I’ll summarize;Fuck Fulton, fuck small town politics, fuck Dixiecrats reapplying their disgust at people different than them to the LBGT movement.I grew up in one of the larger towns in Mississippi (population 15,000), so it wasn’t quite as bad. The small towns with populations under 5,000 (like Fulton) are the worst. They’re essentially plantations; a couple of rich white landowning families decide how they’re run, and what happens in them.The bait and switch prom is pretty goddamn unsurprising to me. It’s exactly the sort of bullshit I’d expect them to pull, after the already huge bullshit of canceling the publicly funded prom in favor of a private one.When it was first announced donations had been taken up and an outsider was going to foot the bill for the prom, I knew this was going to happen.And I rambled anyway.

  17. 17
    Kat

    This is going to sound horrible, but I am glad this is how it worked out.

    I had been very afraid that they would do something much, much worse. Pull a Carrie, perhaps. Or some drunken jocks deciding to 'straighten' (i.e. rape) Constance and/or her girlfriend. I feared a Matthew Shepard situation by students, faculty or parents.

    I am so glad this is the only bullshit they pulled.

    Constance, darling, come to Canada. We'll love you for who you are; you can go to our proms with a Lady on each arm and be the belle of the ball!

  18. 18
    Kat

    This is going to sound horrible, but I am glad this is how it worked out.I had been very afraid that they would do something much, much worse. Pull a Carrie, perhaps. Or some drunken jocks deciding to ‘straighten’ (i.e. rape) Constance and/or her girlfriend. I feared a Matthew Shepard situation by students, faculty or parents.I am so glad this is the only bullshit they pulled.Constance, darling, come to Canada. We’ll love you for who you are; you can go to our proms with a Lady on each arm and be the belle of the ball!

  19. 19
    Arkonbey

    On the plus side, Constance seems like a girl who won't take a lot sitting down and that will server her well in the rest of her life.

    She could have bowed to pressure and never come out. She could have backed down about the prom. She did neither and is stronger for it.

  20. 20
    Arkonbey

    On the plus side, Constance seems like a girl who won’t take a lot sitting down and that will server her well in the rest of her life. She could have bowed to pressure and never come out. She could have backed down about the prom. She did neither and is stronger for it.

  21. 21
    JD Thomas

    Yea I agree with Arkonbey – looks like the picked the wrong girl to mess with. I admire her willingness to stick up for herself and am in constant awe of GLBT teenagers today. When I was her age in the mid-1980 in another little southern town even asking to bring a boy to the prom with me would have resulted in even more insanity.

    But on the bright side, times they are a-changing. Friends and I were just discussing the changes. Even 10 years ago when we had our civil union I could not imagine my mom embracing my partner Brian. But age and society have mellowed her and last month she spent a week as a guest in our home and had a great time.

    It looks to me like the last two holdout areas for kids Constance age are small towns and sports. But for kids in both worlds they have the Internet, blogging, and a more responsive and empathetic news media that has their backs.

    It sucks that so many young gay athletes like Mikey over at HockeyKidMN Blog and Mikey Nation Forum have to fear for the future of their athletic careers or college athletic scholarships if they come out and live their lives openly. However, with blogs and forums where they CAN speak openly, if anonymously, they do not have to suffer in silence and solitude.

  22. 22
    JD Thomas

    Yea I agree with Arkonbey – looks like the picked the wrong girl to mess with. I admire her willingness to stick up for herself and am in constant awe of GLBT teenagers today. When I was her age in the mid-1980 in another little southern town even asking to bring a boy to the prom with me would have resulted in even more insanity.But on the bright side, times they are a-changing. Friends and I were just discussing the changes. Even 10 years ago when we had our civil union I could not imagine my mom embracing my partner Brian. But age and society have mellowed her and last month she spent a week as a guest in our home and had a great time.It looks to me like the last two holdout areas for kids Constance age are small towns and sports. But for kids in both worlds they have the Internet, blogging, and a more responsive and empathetic news media that has their backs.It sucks that so many young gay athletes like Mikey over at HockeyKidMN Blog and Mikey Nation Forum have to fear for the future of their athletic careers or college athletic scholarships if they come out and live their lives openly. However, with blogs and forums where they CAN speak openly, if anonymously, they do not have to suffer in silence and solitude.

  23. 23
    krissthesexyatheist

    The story just gets worse and worse and there was that whole thing between the ACLU and AHA. "C" needs to move to Nor-Cal and be with her people, and you should too "J".

    Kriss

  24. 24
    krissthesexyatheist

    The story just gets worse and worse and there was that whole thing between the ACLU and AHA. “C” needs to move to Nor-Cal and be with her people, and you should too “J”.Kriss

  25. 25
    Ratshag

    Glubberfuggin bigots.

  26. 26
    Ratshag

    Glubberfuggin bigots.

  27. 27
    Arkonbey

    If you guys feel like getting angrier, just read this drivel about the 'homosexual agenda' on conservapedia.

    It seems conservatives have changed the rhetoric a bit and now view vocal LGBT activists to be synonymous with 'aggressive challengers' rather than victims fighting back. It's the same sort of rhetoric that every minority group has to deal with as they fight back: that trying to stand up is the same as trying to push another down.

    I feel the people who wrote this may be truly insane.

  28. 28
    Arkonbey

    If you guys feel like getting angrier, just read this drivel about the ‘homosexual agenda’ on conservapedia. It seems conservatives have changed the rhetoric a bit and now view vocal LGBT activists to be synonymous with ‘aggressive challengers’ rather than victims fighting back. It’s the same sort of rhetoric that every minority group has to deal with as they fight back: that trying to stand up is the same as trying to push another down. I feel the people who wrote this may be truly insane.

  29. 29
    Anonymous

    This has me absolutely fuming.

  30. 30
    Anonymous

    This has me absolutely fuming.

  31. 31
    givesgoodemail.com

    I included a little more information, including the name, number, and email address of the Itawamba County school superintendent. Give her a call or an email (make it concise and civil, please!) and let her know how you feel about a school district ignoring a court order.

  32. 32
    givesgoodemail.com

    I included a little more information, including the name, number, and email address of the Itawamba County school superintendent. Give her a call or an email (make it concise and civil, please!) and let her know how you feel about a school district ignoring a court order.

  33. 33
    W

    Kinda saw this one coming. Does anyone realistically expect those in favor of conservative social causes to be honest? Lying is what they do BEST.

    Anyway, her leaving is pretty much exactly what that kind of community wants, so it'll suit them both fine if/when she goes elsewhere. Nobody'll be around to sue them, so they can be as bigoted as they want.

  34. 34
    W

    Kinda saw this one coming. Does anyone realistically expect those in favor of conservative social causes to be honest? Lying is what they do BEST.Anyway, her leaving is pretty much exactly what that kind of community wants, so it’ll suit them both fine if/when she goes elsewhere. Nobody’ll be around to sue them, so they can be as bigoted as they want.

  35. 35
    Erp

    I wonder whether the other students at the small prom (including the two students with learning disabilities) were there because they were also shunted aside or because they decided to support Constance or some combo.

  36. 36
    Erp

    I wonder whether the other students at the small prom (including the two students with learning disabilities) were there because they were also shunted aside or because they decided to support Constance or some combo.

  37. 37
    JimG

    Why do I suspect that Itawamba Ag H.S. would have been far less perturbed if Constance's date had also been her sister?

  38. 38
    JimG

    Why do I suspect that Itawamba Ag H.S. would have been far less perturbed if Constance’s date had also been her sister?

  39. 39
    Buffy

    Good, wholesome Christian values in action.

  40. 40
    Buffy

    Good, wholesome Christian values in action.

  41. 41
    WCLPeter

    I agree with what others have said as I too want to know about the other five people at the fake prom.

    The other thing bothering me about the whole thing is everyone heaping all of the scholarships, the praise, and the attention on Constance.

    Isn't her girlfriend also being discriminated against too? Didn't she also get stuck going to the fake prom? Yet for some reason we don't see her on TV getting scholarships from Ellen DeGeneres or receiving invites to celeb parties.

    I don't really know where I'm going with this rant but it feels wrong to me to single one person out of the couple, giving her all the accolades, while seemingly ignoring the other person.

  42. 42
    WCLPeter

    I agree with what others have said as I too want to know about the other five people at the fake prom.The other thing bothering me about the whole thing is everyone heaping all of the scholarships, the praise, and the attention on Constance.Isn’t her girlfriend also being discriminated against too? Didn’t she also get stuck going to the fake prom? Yet for some reason we don’t see her on TV getting scholarships from Ellen DeGeneres or receiving invites to celeb parties.I don’t really know where I’m going with this rant but it feels wrong to me to single one person out of the couple, giving her all the accolades, while seemingly ignoring the other person.

  43. 43
    Shannon

    I'd love to see more links to this story because at this point I only believe about half of it… "secret proms" and "school-wide conspiracies" make for a great episode of Buffy/OC/Privileged/Glee but seem incredibly far-fetched.

    There are too many unanswered questions about this story: Why doesn't Constance have actual friends that could have given her a heads up?

    Did she lose all her friends when the prom got canceled?

    Where were the adults that could have warned her: if you push the prom issue and get it canceled you're going to hurt friends and enemies alike?

    Being gay is not the only reason to be outcast in high school. So my initial impressions are that Constance must be incredibly difficult to deal with if NOONE would have told her about this "secret prom" – or that this was ultimately a political move.

  44. 44
    Shannon

    I’d love to see more links to this story because at this point I only believe about half of it… “secret proms” and “school-wide conspiracies” make for a great episode of Buffy/OC/Privileged/Glee but seem incredibly far-fetched. There are too many unanswered questions about this story: Why doesn’t Constance have actual friends that could have given her a heads up? Did she lose all her friends when the prom got canceled?Where were the adults that could have warned her: if you push the prom issue and get it canceled you’re going to hurt friends and enemies alike? Being gay is not the only reason to be outcast in high school. So my initial impressions are that Constance must be incredibly difficult to deal with if NOONE would have told her about this “secret prom” – or that this was ultimately a political move.

  45. 45
    Improbable Joe

    It is weird… because I went to a small southern high school 20 years ago, and I know for a sure fact that if there had been an "alternate prom for the gay kid" there would have been at least 15-20 folks there. We had a couple of decent adults teaching who would have broken ranks with the bigots and made sure that all the good non-bigots stood up for what's right.

    It is hard to believe that in this day and age, there are whole towns that are this evil.

  46. 46
    Improbable Joe

    It is weird… because I went to a small southern high school 20 years ago, and I know for a sure fact that if there had been an “alternate prom for the gay kid” there would have been at least 15-20 folks there. We had a couple of decent adults teaching who would have broken ranks with the bigots and made sure that all the good non-bigots stood up for what’s right. It is hard to believe that in this day and age, there are whole towns that are this evil.

  47. 47
    Annette

    I’ve been following the whole Itawamba Prom drama on Facebook and thought I would answer some of the questions from the other commenters.First off it seems that there may have been even more than two “proms”. The whole prom thing turned into an utter fiasco because the school _repeatedly_ cancelled and then reinstated both the official prom and the replacement not-a-prom right up to the last minute. You can decide for yourselves whether or not this was a deliberate tactic to confuse the undesirables or not. It does seem to have a lot to do with the parents who were involved in organising the prom as to who got to go to The Good Prom.From looking at the “private party” secret prom photos I seriously suspect that there were actually _two_ private parties that attendees called “prom” when they posted the photos on facebook and I’m not the only one who thinks this. http://i89.photobucket.com/alb…From the photos it seems that neither replacement party/prom attracted huge numbers but the larger one seemed to get around 40 people max. Word has it that the smaller one was also a birthday party.I’ve seen no photos of the official school run prom that Constance attended. I don’t know how many kids were in that senior year but I remember somebody mention 240 in a forum post. If that is correct then that’s a huge amount of kids who didn’t get any prom at all. If I were them I’d be really pissed off at somebody.So it looks to me that a lot of kids didn’t hear that the official school-run prom was back on in a different location (a country club), and weren’t kept in the loop about the cool kids’ Good Prom either. The thing is though, the school prom was supposed to have a masquerade theme and as can be seen in the photos, those props, designed and paid for by the school were used at the larger “private party” (Good Prom).So below I’ve put links to FB groups and fan pages which also have links to incriminating photos and screencaptures.Constance’s Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/http://milowent.blogspot.com/2…Constance quit yer cryin FB page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/…Perez Hilton linked to this and within a few days there were 2000 new members who took it over from the haters who created it. It also got a late /b/tard raid. That was fun! *gag*Be sure to check out the photos, it’s full of screencaps of incriminating online conversations.Un-Biased Constance McMillen Discussion: http://www.facebook.com/posted…constance vs school district: http://www.facebook.com/posted…Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom!: http://www.facebook.com/profil…Yep, it’s all been going on on Facebook!(Sorry if this has been posted twice. The first time looked like it didn’t work.)

  48. 48
    Poopoocopter

    Boohoo

  49. 49
    Shannon Barrett

    Annette – you’re awesome!

  50. 50
    Emma

    I have been following this controversy, and I remember reading in one article that her girlfriend’s parents (and possibly her girlfriend) asked Constance to leave her name out of the media, so that is why there has not been any attention on her. Constance has been complying with those requests. Unfortunately, I do not remember which article I read this information in.

  51. 51
    David Joiner

    People suck.

  52. 52
    johnkgordon

    The good news is there was a similar instance where a prom in Cochran, Ga where a guy wanted to bring his boyfriend to the prom. After discussing it the school board in Cochran, Ga decided they didn’t want all the drama like they got in Mississippi and let him bring his boyfriend. The prom went off without incident. (Heard about on Dan Savage’s podcast).

  53. 53
    Chris

    An incredible example of how religion teaches you to love God’s children!

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