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Dec 24 2009

Merry Christmas! Excuse my hives

Categories:

humor, religion

by Jen

Merry Christmas, all of my fellow atheists! I hope your holiday is filled with fun, family, good food, and gifts, and lacking annoying music, icy roads, and cantankerous religious relatives.

Apparently my Christmas present this year is a nasty full body rash. Hooray for mononucleosis combined with antibiotics! The effect is super common – it happens more often than not – but it still makes me cranky. You know how your skin looks when you accidentally fall asleep on textured fabric? My entire body (and face) looks that way, but in hasn’t gone away. Absolutely lovely for the many family photographs that will likely ensue today. And top of making me look like a leper, it’s just started to itch like hell.

I’m convinced God hates me. Every Christmas something seems to be wrong with me. I’ve had a broken foot, chicken pox, bad colds, and now mono on Christmas.

Mark: It’s because dirty little heathens shouldn’t enjoy Christmas like the people who worship the lord and savior of mankind, Jesus Christ Blessed Be His Name.
Me: But most of those things occurred when I was little D:
Mark: God knows AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL! He was pre-punishing you.

Bah humbug!

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6 comments

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  1. 1
    The Jules

    December 25, 2009 at 1:15 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment

    Pre-punishing!

    LOL.

    I'm going to do that to shifty looking types.

  2. 2
    The Jules

    December 25, 2009 at 9:15 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment

    Pre-punishing!LOL.I’m going to do that to shifty looking types.

  3. 3
    Veritas

    December 25, 2009 at 5:53 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment

    Happy Christmas, Jen and other Blaghag readers. Thanks for making the year a little more interesting and informative.

    And now that I know Jen has mono, get well soon, etc.

  4. 4
    Veritas

    December 26, 2009 at 1:53 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment

    Happy Christmas, Jen and other Blaghag readers. Thanks for making the year a little more interesting and informative.And now that I know Jen has mono, get well soon, etc.

  5. 5
    Carmelo Anthony Shoes

    June 9, 2010 at 1:56 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment

    Here elaborates the matter not only extensively but also detailly .I support the write’s unique point.It is useful and benefit to your daily life.You can go those sits to know more relate things.They are nostalgic-pushead.com strongly recommended by friends.Personally

  6. 6
    Hives Treatment

    March 3, 2011 at 5:31 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment

    Don’t think like that. God loves everyone.

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