You gave advise to guys seeking atheist girls, how about advise for girls seeking atheist guys? You have a boyfriend, right? So you’re a credible source of information.
Okay, okay, you know I’m joking. It’s the first thing that popped into my head, but I think it does illustrate a misconception many (but not all) women have about relationships. A lot of us expect guys to make the first move. We may flirt back, but we’re not going to do anything obvious like explicitly stating interest or – heaven forbid – asking the guy out on a date. They need to come to us and figure out vague hints to prove their worth, like some sort of sadistic test all women have agreed upon.
Ladies? Stop it.
I’ve had my fair share of relationships, from serious long term relationships to not so serious nookie. Out of ten guys, only one made the first move (my current boyfriend). Every other time I asked the guy out, went in for the kiss, etc. If I would have waited for a guy to make the first move, I could have had nothing until age 22. Or, more likely, I would have had a relationship earlier, but it would have been prefaced by months of bullshit and waffling.
I know being the aggressive one isn’t for everyone. But I tend to be attracted to shy (or at least socially awkward) guys, so I figured out pretty quickly what I had to do. Are all men going to be happy with the woman being more aggressive? Probably not, but it’s always worked for me. Are some men going to be elated to have women cut through the bullshit? Definitely.
This is more general advice that anything specifically for atheists. I’m not sure what more I can add to my previous post on men finding atheist women, since the same general tips apply. But I have found that in my atheist circles atheist men tend to be more intellectual/nerdy/introverted/socially awkward than guys and general. Obviously this is a generality that is not going to apply to all atheist men (maybe Purdue just fosters uber geeks) – but if that’s the type of guy you go for, just make a move.
If you insist on being cryptic or fear rejection, I’ve found bitching about being single works. It’s waves the giant “Hey fellas, I’m single and hate it, actually receptive to flirting right now!” flag. Some guys won’t make a move if they’re afraid you’re not interested, or already have a boyfriend – so sometimes getting it out there helps. But don’t constantly whine about it, or you’ll start being annoying.
Guys, am I totally off base about this? Gals, am I the only women out here making all the moves?
Dec 24 2009