I have two stories to write this evening. Morning. Whatever. This was one of the reader challenges I put out into the cosmos to raise  money for the SSA during my blogathon:

Tell me to write about YOU! Do you want me to write a story about you and how badass, sweet and mild-mannered, supervillany or just plain AWESOME you are? I’m fairly decent at writing fictional, off-the-cuff stories, and it would be my honor to make up a fictional story about you! If you donate a minimum of $10 to the SSA I will write and post your story (approx. 250-500 words) during the blogathon. In the Topic Suggestion box write “Story About Me” and (this is important) include five words that you want me to include in your story (psst – they don’t have to be words that describe you – they can be any random words you want!)

Louise sent her donation in first (and actually sparked the idea), so she’s up first! Louise’s words for me to incorporate into the story are: awesome, Indiana, FUNemployment, skepticamps, blue.

Hoo-boy. Let’s see what we can do.

Louise: Leader of the Unicorn

Louise was one of the happiest unicorns in the entire herd of Indiana Unicorns. This is not a historical story, friends. Unicorns exist to this very day, but they’re very clever and are able to escape human detection by hiding in cornfields. Bill O’Reilly saw a Unicorn once, but he simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “Huh. A Unicorn. You can’t explain that.” and walked away. During harvest season the Unicorns retreat to nearby woods and use their long horns to dig deep burrows into the warm earth, where they hibernate until the next season’s crops are able to hide them for another summer.

Louise was one of the most brilliant of her herd. Once a man by the name of Reed Esau had been investigating claims of Unicorn sightings near Noblesville, Indiana (and of course a very large herd of Unicorn live there. From where do you think the town derived its name?). Louise decided that the only way to get Reed off the trail would be to distract him with another idea. One night Reed was camping out near the Nobleville cornfields. Louise quietly approached the sleeping Reed and whispered “Skepticamp”. The Unicorns never had to worry about Reed again.

Louise was also one of the prettiest of the Indiana Unicorns. She had a long, flowing blue tail and the shine of the sun off of her mane was an awesome sight.  She attracted all of the most handsome Stallions, and – she wasn’t ashamed to admit – she caught the eye of a fair number of Fillies. Louise was admired and respected by all of the herd for her leadership, her strength and her beauty.

Every year the young Unicorns of the herd were sent to the fields to work and gain experience so that they might become fruitful members of the Unicorn society. Sometimes there wasn’t enough work for all of the young Unicorns and some of them had to wait until next season to show their mettle. In order to keep their spirits up, they called this downtime FUNemployment.

Louise saw these young, frustrated Unicorns and decided that there must be a way to keep both the established members of the herd happily engaged, while at the same time giving the young Unicorns a chance to become involved. By using her wit, her diplomacy and her strict sense of honor and fairness, Louise was able to establish a system that helped everyone feel like they had found a place in the herd.

Louise led the herd for many years. Later in her life she decided to step aside and she retired to a sunny beach in the Bermuda Triangle. The Sasquatch’s nephew said it was a lovely, quiet and secluded place, and after a few gallops on the sandy shore, Louise agreed with him.

The end.

This is post 42 of 49 in the SSAweek Biodork Blogathon. Donate to the SSA today! Read more about my reader challenges here.

I have two stories to write this evening. Morning. Whatever. This was one of the reader challenges I put out into the cosmos to raise  money for the SSA during my blogathon:

Tell me to write about YOU! Do you want me to write a story about you and how badass, sweet and mild-mannered, supervillany or just plain AWESOME you are? I’m fairly decent at writing fictional, off-the-cuff stories, and it would be my honor to make up a fictional story about you! If you donate a minimum of $10 to the SSA I will write and post your story (approx. 250-500 words) during the blogathon. In the Topic Suggestion box write “Story About Me” and (this is important) include five words that you want me to include in your story (psst – they don’t have to be words that describe you – they can be any random words you want!)

Louise sent her donation in first (and actually sparked the idea), so she’s up first! Louise’s words for me to incorporate into the story are: awesome, Indiana, FUNemployment, skepticamps, blue.

Hoo-boy. Let’s see what we can do.

Louise: Leader of the Unicorn

Louise was one of the happiest unicorns in the entire herd of Indiana Unicorns. This is not a historical story, friends. Unicorns exist to this very day, but they’re very clever and are able to escape human detection by hiding in cornfields. Bill O’Reilly saw a Unicorn once, but he simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “Huh. A Unicorn. You can’t explain that.” and walked away. During harvest season the Unicorns retreat to nearby woods and use their long horns to dig deep burrows into the warm earth, where they hibernate until the next season’s crops are able to hide them for another summer.

Louise was one of the most brilliant of her herd. Once a man by the name of Reed Esau had been investigating claims of Unicorn sightings near Noblesville, Indiana (and of course a very large herd of Unicorn live there. From where do you think the town derived its name?). Louise decided that the only way to get Reed off the trail would be to distract him with another idea. One night Reed was camping out near the Nobleville cornfields. Louise quietly approached the sleeping Reed and whispered “Skepticamp”. The Unicorns never had to worry about Reed again.

Louise was also one of the prettiest of the Indiana Unicorns. She had a long, flowing blue tail and the shine of the sun off of her mane was an awesome sight.  She attracted all of the most handsome Stallions, and – she wasn’t ashamed to admit – she caught the eye of a fair number of Fillies. Louise was admired and respected by all of the herd for her leadership, her strength and her beauty.

Every year the young Unicorns of the herd were sent to the fields to work and gain experience so that they might become fruitful members of the Unicorn society. Sometimes there wasn’t enough work for all of the young Unicorns and some of them had to wait until next season to show their mettle. In order to keep their spirits up, they called this downtime FUNemployment.

Louise saw these young, frustrated Unicorns and decided that there must be a way to keep both the established members of the herd happily engaged, while at the same time giving the young Unicorns a chance to become involved. By using her wit, her diplomacy and her strict sense of honor and fairness, Louise was able to establish a system that helped everyone feel like they had found a place in the herd.

Louise led the herd for many years. Later in her life she decided to step aside and she retired to a sunny beach in the Bermuda Triangle. The Sasquatch’s nephew said it was a lovely, quiet and secluded place, and after a few gallops on the sandy shore, Louise agreed with him.

The end.

This is post 42 of 49 in the SSAweek Biodork Blogathon. Donate to the SSA today! Read more about my reader challenges here.

Wow.

I’ve arrived at my final destination of the blogathon. I have some friends who are night owls and will likely be up until the wee hours of the morning, which will make keeping my eyes open and my fingers typing that much more likely during this final leg of the journey. It’s just past midnight here. I have almost six hours and exactly 12 posts left in my SSA blogathon fundraiser.

I have another prize announcement! My brother-in-law Ralph is right this minute drawing a picture for some lucky donor. When I asked him to consider doing a piece, all I requested was that it be atheism-themed. I have no idea what he’s producing. I can’t offer you any samples of his drawings. It’s a MysteryAtheism  Drawing – ooooooo! The same rules that are going for Erin’s Cuddly Knit Creatures will apply to Ralph’s drawing: Anybody who donates any amount to the SSA for the Biodork blogathon will get entered into a drawing for the…errr…drawing.

Because I don’t have any more driving to do tonight, I anticipate fewer “filler” pieces. I now have two – TWO – donor challenge stories to write, so I’ll be working on those pretty soon here.

And finally, Kate is continuing to send me little pick-me-up blogging encouragements. Thanks for the support, Kate! 

Kate says that this puppy will be sad with the blogathon is over. I say shut yer pie-hole dog. You don’t even know. But you’re awfully cute. Who’s a cute boy? Whosacutepuppy?

This crazy juggling video: http://www.viddler.com/v/21227e64

I am so jealous of this hamster:

And another YouTube video – this one with very pretty illustration and music.

And a Harry Potter cake that I’m going to imagine is gluten-free:

This is post 38 of 49 in the SSAweek Biodork Blogathon. Donate to the SSA today! Read more about my reader challenges here.

Traveling, so I made you a poem.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

I Ran out of Time 

And have no original material for You.

But you shouldn’t take that out on the SSA. Donate!

This is post 37 of 49 in the SSAweek Biodork Blogathon. Donate to the SSA today! Read more about my reader challenges here.

Oh Em Gee that was an amazing interview, especially for pulling it out in under 60 minutes! Thank you thank you thank you to Kammy for doing that. After this post I’m traveling to my final destination of the blogathon. I’ve decided that I’m getting to the point where I’m too loopy to do anymore driving. Safety in blogathoning, my friends. Safety first.

Here’s a Facebook update from Erin about the cuddly knit creatures she’s making for y’all:

I started knitting a trilobite for you… but I’m a little tipsy. We’ll see how it goes. Good luck on the rest of your blogathon!

Just to recap: Anyone who donates any amount of money to the SSA for the Biodork blogathon will be entered into a drawing to receive a knit trilobite, microbe or neuron.

You know you want one.

This is post 36 of 49 in the SSAweek Biodork Blogathon. Donate to the SSA today! Read more about my reader challenges here.