Goodbye, Dear Samples.

When in the Course of sample shelf life stability, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the emotional bands which have connected her with these samples, and to assume among the powers of industry science, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Finance and of Peer-Reviewed Literature entitle her, a decent respect to the opinions of Her Project Manager requires that she should declare the causes which impel her to the separation.

They were old and the integrity of the proteins could no longer be trusted. That’s pretty much it.

*sniff*

I was hired in 2006 to conduct a month-long blood draw that produced thousands of aliquots. I participated as a phlebotomist, a sample processor, and I helped test them and analyze the data that they provided. My successful participation in this project has developed into a happy and fruitful career. Across eight years, numerous projects and the periodic mandated freezer cleanup (the bane of many a laboratory scientist) I have managed to save these characterized samples in the hope that someone, someday would be able to use them. But the end has come: All of the analytes within the serum that might be of use to us have likely degraded. So it was with a heavy heart that this afternoon – on the 26th day of March in the 2014th year of our calendar – I discarded them all.

Goodbye, dear samples. I will remember you fondly.

Eleven freezer canes, filled with sample freezer boxes

Most of these eleven freezer canes contain twelve freezer boxes, each of which contain somewhere between 40 and 80 1mL sample aliquots. That’s about 8,000 vials that were discarded.

Goodbye, Dear Samples.
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Love: A Sad Science Story

A nice woman named Amy was giving away postcards.  You receive the postcard, take a picture with it and then send the picture back to her. It sounded like kind of a fun pen-pal deal-eo and I decided to do it.

Here’s the postcard she sent me:

So I took a picture. Or six. And may have written a really stupid story to go with it. Caution – HUGE LAB NERDINESS AHEAD!!! 

They met in the park when the summer blossoms were in full bloom.  It was love at first sight, and they knew that they would never be separated.

As they spun together around the fountain, she felt dizzy and lightheaded. They spun around and around and around.

She felt care-free and weightless.

They both liked Victorian cosplay, but she was a modern, intelligent, tech-savy woman, so she of course did her research on him before fully committing her heart.

And was horrified to learn that he had a chemical addiction problem!

He tried to explain, but it was too late – all of his pleadings smelled rotton.  

 And so she reluctantly walked away from his toxic love.

The End.

Love: A Sad Science Story