Abortion/Pro-Choice

Pro-Choice Kittehs

Brianne Bilyeu, , , , , 794 Comments

Do you want to help fund abortions for women and families who can’t afford them? Do you like cats?

Okay…I KNOW the second question is the more controversial statement in this crowd, but just say yes to both.

Say yes?

Every year the NNAF – National Network of Abortion Funds – hosts a bowl-a-thon fundraiser. This is a series of bowl-a-thons that take place all over the country. Individual teams form up and raise money that go directly into abortion funds. Why are abortion funds important? Continue reading “Pro-Choice Kittehs” →

Pro-Choice Kittehs
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A Call for Your Stories

Brianne Bilyeu, , 1,260 Comments

I’m partnering with a new group to increase visibility of reproductive health care rights and access to abortion. The group is called Voice of Choice.

Voice of Choice came to be when a father on the periphery of the abortion debate was dragged into the fray by an organized virtual – and then physical – mob of protesters calling him, emailing him and finally showing up at his daughter’s school. The protestors’ actions could only be called bullying.

I wrote about this incident back in September. The father organized supporters to politely engage the harassers via phone calls and email, thanking them for their concern, but  letting them know that they were acting on erroneous information. Each harasser received similar calls from multiple people and mounds of email. Soon after this counter-protest started, the rude, angry phone calls and emails that the father had been receiving stopped.

Continue reading “A Call for Your Stories” →

A Call for Your Stories

Giving God the Heisman

Brianne Bilyeu, , , , , 969 Comments

I’ve been really disgusted with the Kalley Yanta’s Minnesota Marriage Minute videos. Mostly because they make bigotry, fear and hate look so damn good, professional and reasonable. I’ve been meaning to post about them, but it’s been a chore to watch her maple syrup-sweet, disingenuous arguments. This morning I was going to do it. I even made it through the first three (of 10, now) videos and had started deconstructing the calmly-delivered fallacious vitriol (damn this woman brings to mind the saccharine evil of Delores Umbridge), but then YouTube helpfully directed me to this and my head exploded:

In this video Yanta’s professionalism slips a couple of notches from her MN Marriage Minute videos. Her sugar-coated sarcasm is the epitome of the tongue-in-cheek “Minnesota Nice”, which, for those who haven’t heard the term, is often used to describe passive-agressiveness. She also confirms that her social conservatism is based in religious ideology, which she doesn’t do in MN Marriage Minute.

Continue reading “Giving God the Heisman” →

Giving God the Heisman

I've Been Too Nice

Brianne Bilyeu, , 606 Comments

I am a clinic escort for a local women’s reproductive health clinic which provides, among other services, abortion care. During this time of year I get all bundled up in warm clothes – usually with two pairs of socks, a couple of layers of shirts, and a full winter complement of hat, gloves and neck gator (yeah, you’re from up Nort’ if you didn’t have to look that up). When I get to the clinic I pick up my bright yellow vest with the words CLINIC ESCORT printed on the front and and back, and then I head outside to smile at, walk with and hold the door for patients.  Oh yeah, and I distract them from the anti-choice protesters who gather in front of our clinic to harass them on the way to their medical appointments.

I wrote about my first day of clinic escorting last April. In this part I speak about how I interact with protesters:

There were  two of us escorting and four protesters, all of them regulars who are well-known to the clinic. We were all pretty nice to each other, considering we were diametrically opposed about the issue at hand. It felt very much like ”you’re here to do your job, I’m here to do mine.” [snip]

At some point one of the ladies gently tried to hand me a pamphlet and I said “Look, while we’re out here together I’ll talk to you about anything you like except abortion.” She shrugged and we actually talked about the weather! [snip] When a person or couple would approach the clinic, I would walk right next to the client(s) and distract them with chit-chat so the protester was relegated to speaking loudly at our backs. As soon as the client was inside the protestor and I would go back to discussing the weather.

fml221 is the author of a post called, Why I Don’t Talk to the Antis, and this post has completely changed my perspective on how I have interacted with the anti-choice protesters before, and how I will interact with them going forward. That isn’t a resolution, that’s a statement of fact. I have had a shift in perception that won’t allow me go back to the way I used to think about dealing with the men and women who show up to harass the patients who visit our health center.

Let’s have a little background. This is from fml221’s article:

In early January, Servalbear did a list of resolutions for herself when escorting.  i admired them.  But I knew right away there was one that wouldn’t work for me.

Servalbear said:

“I will respond with courtesy and politeness when antis greet me or ask me a direct question. Promoting calm and minimizing chaos is the goal. If I need to say “Good Morning” to an anti to start the day on an adult basis, it is okay. I do not have to engage in conversation, but I do not have to abandon all social conventions.”

I already know that approach isn’t going to work for me.

fml221 goes on to explain why being courteous and polite to the antis doesn’t work for him or her. I read this article with interest because I usually take Servalbear’s attitude. It has bothered me that some escorts at my clinic ignore individual protesters to the point of rudeness, or openly show their disdain. Aren’t the protesters human beings, and deserving of at least a modicum of courtesy?

Our protesters aren’t very hostile; they’re urgent and animated when they approach our clients, but rarely outwardly angry. I think this has led me to give the protesters a pass, to sigh and allow that they have a right to voice their opinion, and since they aren’t screaming and cursing at the clients they can be tolerated and – dare I even say? – respected for standing up for their beliefs?

I was wrong. That is total and utter bullshit.

Protesters protest because they want to make change. In this venue they are attempting to change the mind of every woman who is coming to get an abortion. But harassing patients who are on their way to an appointment to for an emotionally-charged procedure is not a humane way to make change, it is psychological abuse. Choices made under duress – in this case, the protester’s manipulative pleading and guilting – are not valid choices. But the antis don’t care about that, and because they resort to shaming and intimidating our patients, they are not worthy of my respect. They are not merely “voicing their opinion”, they are terrorizing other human beings.

Once I was escorting and a passerby stopped and said to me and a nearby protester, “I’m a constitutional lawyer and I just want to say that I LOVE to see you two out here, side by side, each making a statement of your beliefs. I love that I can walk down the street in this country and see this.” Something about that struck me as wrong, and it’s taken me until now to figure out what it was.

A doctor’s office isn’t a place to voice your opinion about someone else’s health care decisions. Do that at the state capitol. Do that in letters to your legislators or in a letter to the editor. Or better yet, realize that you don’t deserve a say in health care decisions of total strangers. And I’m definitely not at the clinic to voice my opinion. I’m not being a pro-choice champion today, and I’m not here to provide the other half to the protester’s story. I’m a service representative, and I’m here solely because protesters wage rude, intrusive verbal attacks on the clinic’s patients.

So as fml21 says, I don’t think the protesters belong out here. Sure, they have a right to be out here, but it’s not very nice. And since I’ve realized that by their very presence they’re not being nice, I no longer feel compelled to be nice to them. From now on all of my smiles are reserved for our patients and staff, and the protesters can fill the time between harassing clients without me.

I've Been Too Nice

I’ve Been Too Nice

Brianne Bilyeu, , 646 Comments

I am a clinic escort for a local women’s reproductive health clinic which provides, among other services, abortion care. During this time of year I get all bundled up in warm clothes – usually with two pairs of socks, a couple of layers of shirts, and a full winter complement of hat, gloves and neck gator (yeah, you’re from up Nort’ if you didn’t have to look that up). When I get to the clinic I pick up my bright yellow vest with the words CLINIC ESCORT printed on the front and and back, and then I head outside to smile at, walk with and hold the door for patients.  Oh yeah, and I distract them from the anti-choice protesters who gather in front of our clinic to harass them on the way to their medical appointments.

I wrote about my first day of clinic escorting last April. In this part I speak about how I interact with protesters:

There were  two of us escorting and four protesters, all of them regulars who are well-known to the clinic. We were all pretty nice to each other, considering we were diametrically opposed about the issue at hand. It felt very much like ”you’re here to do your job, I’m here to do mine.” [snip]

At some point one of the ladies gently tried to hand me a pamphlet and I said “Look, while we’re out here together I’ll talk to you about anything you like except abortion.” She shrugged and we actually talked about the weather! [snip] When a person or couple would approach the clinic, I would walk right next to the client(s) and distract them with chit-chat so the protester was relegated to speaking loudly at our backs. As soon as the client was inside the protestor and I would go back to discussing the weather.

fml221 is the author of a post called, Why I Don’t Talk to the Antis, and this post has completely changed my perspective on how I have interacted with the anti-choice protesters before, and how I will interact with them going forward. That isn’t a resolution, that’s a statement of fact. I have had a shift in perception that won’t allow me go back to the way I used to think about dealing with the men and women who show up to harass the patients who visit our health center.

Let’s have a little background. This is from fml221’s article:

In early January, Servalbear did a list of resolutions for herself when escorting.  i admired them.  But I knew right away there was one that wouldn’t work for me.

Servalbear said:

“I will respond with courtesy and politeness when antis greet me or ask me a direct question. Promoting calm and minimizing chaos is the goal. If I need to say “Good Morning” to an anti to start the day on an adult basis, it is okay. I do not have to engage in conversation, but I do not have to abandon all social conventions.”

I already know that approach isn’t going to work for me.

fml221 goes on to explain why being courteous and polite to the antis doesn’t work for him or her. I read this article with interest because I usually take Servalbear’s attitude. It has bothered me that some escorts at my clinic ignore individual protesters to the point of rudeness, or openly show their disdain. Aren’t the protesters human beings, and deserving of at least a modicum of courtesy?

Our protesters aren’t very hostile; they’re urgent and animated when they approach our clients, but rarely outwardly angry. I think this has led me to give the protesters a pass, to sigh and allow that they have a right to voice their opinion, and since they aren’t screaming and cursing at the clients they can be tolerated and – dare I even say? – respected for standing up for their beliefs?

I was wrong. That is total and utter bullshit.

Protesters protest because they want to make change. In this venue they are attempting to change the mind of every woman who is coming to get an abortion. But harassing patients who are on their way to an appointment to for an emotionally-charged procedure is not a humane way to make change, it is psychological abuse. Choices made under duress – in this case, the protester’s manipulative pleading and guilting – are not valid choices. But the antis don’t care about that, and because they resort to shaming and intimidating our patients, they are not worthy of my respect. They are not merely “voicing their opinion”, they are terrorizing other human beings.

Once I was escorting and a passerby stopped and said to me and a nearby protester, “I’m a constitutional lawyer and I just want to say that I LOVE to see you two out here, side by side, each making a statement of your beliefs. I love that I can walk down the street in this country and see this.” Something about that struck me as wrong, and it’s taken me until now to figure out what it was.

A doctor’s office isn’t a place to voice your opinion about someone else’s health care decisions. Do that at the state capitol. Do that in letters to your legislators or in a letter to the editor. Or better yet, realize that you don’t deserve a say in health care decisions of total strangers. And I’m definitely not at the clinic to voice my opinion. I’m not being a pro-choice champion today, and I’m not here to provide the other half to the protester’s story. I’m a service representative, and I’m here solely because protesters wage rude, intrusive verbal attacks on the clinic’s patients.

So as fml21 says, I don’t think the protesters belong out here. Sure, they have a right to be out here, but it’s not very nice. And since I’ve realized that by their very presence they’re not being nice, I no longer feel compelled to be nice to them. From now on all of my smiles are reserved for our patients and staff, and the protesters can fill the time between harassing clients without me.

I’ve Been Too Nice

Fighting Kindness with Kindness

Brianne Bilyeu, , 733 Comments

We’ve heard the stories of abortion doctors and clinic staff being harrassed at their places of employment and at their homes. Even those peripherally associated with clinics have been targeted by protesters for harrassment. 

A Germantown, Maryland abortion clinic landlord receives calls and letters from protesters every day. The anti-choice group Defend Life distributed to its members the landlord’s personal contact information, including the names of his wife and two children. Members were asked to write or call him to ask – in a polite, Christian manner – if he would evict the clinic occupants from his building. He reported that the phone calls and emails have so far been polite, but felt that the protesters went too far when this week they went to his children’s school and a held up a huge banner printed with his name, address, phone number and photograph and the words “Please Stop the Child-Killing” for all of the parents and children of the school to see. 

The landlord has had enough, and has decided to launch a counter-campaign to return the “loving” emails, letters and phone calls that he and his family have received since Defend Life has targeted them. From an article on the story from Alternet:

So he’s decided that it’s time to call back, politely, with thanks for the prayers and wishes he has received, and with the hope that a phone call and email will literally bring home to his “gentle” opponents what it’s like to have that safe personal space invaded–even by so-called well-wishers.

Here is one of the landlord’s original emails, which he sent to the early supporters of the campaign:

I would like to organize a campaign to call and email each of these “concerned citizens” back. It would be 100 times as thoughtful if each of the people who called or emailed me got 100 calls or emails from people who lovingly and in a Christian way said to them:

1) The family truly appreciates your prayers.

2) Your opinions and pleas have been heard but

3) Defend Life has unfortunately misinformed you about the [family]’s legal rights regarding their ability to evict or terminate the lease of the clinic.

If you would like to help by sending polite emails, letters or phone calls to anti-choice protesters who have targeted the landlord, you can contact [email protected]to learn more. One thing to know: the landlord does not want people to be part of the campaign if they cannot be polite and non-confrontational. So no yelling, no threatening, no snark. If you can’t do that, don’t bother to sign up. Also, I volunteered to do some of this, but I’m watching out for my safety and privacy; I will be using a private, dedicated email account and a Google Voice phone number.

I think this is an interesting idea. I generally don’t engage in arguments with pro-lifers for the sake of attempting to change someone’s mind about the issue. But this campaign isn’t seeking to change people’s minds about abortion; it’s about getting individuals to rethink their tactics. If even one person is upset with the barrage of emails and phone calls that they’re about to get, perhaps they will understand how annoying and disruptive being on the receiving end of this type of campaign can be, and maybe they’ll decide not to engage in harrassing other human beings in this way in the future.

Fighting Kindness with Kindness

10 Things Amanda Marcotte Would Tell Anti-Choicers

Brianne Bilyeu, , , 5,561 Comments

This is a genius list. But first, recent abortion wars news:

Every day I read about absurd pieces of legislation that are specifically written to limit access to abortion or reproductive choice. Today’s Bill-O’-Fun-and-Oppression comes out of North Carolina.

Earlier this week the NC House managed to override the state governor’s veto on a bill that would require all women who seek an abortion to undergo a a 24-hour waiting period, an ultrasound, a detailed description of the fetus and state-mandated “counseling”. Today, the NC Senate  passed that bill 29-19.

This intrusive government-mandated health care now requires that every women have her ultrasound 24 hours in advance of the procedure, regardless of whether the woman is a victim of incest or rape or medical necessity, and regardless of whether she wishes to accept the state’s kind offer to waste her time with unsolicited, unnecessary medical procedures and lectures about “other options”. Book your hotel room now if you’ve traveled a distance to one of the eight cities in North Carolina that currently have abortion clinics – you’re going to be there for a few days. And so sorry if you can’t find the money for a hotel, or obtain transportation, or find childcare for several days, or take time off of work. Maybe you’d just better have that kid; in the short term it will be much easier than terminating your pregnancy. The pro-lifers in the North Carolina legislature can assure you of that.

And now on to Amanda Marcotte’s Awesome List of Awesome. Here are 10 very good points which people entrenched in the anti-choice movement ignore completely. But if you’re one of those people who have always identified as pro-life (then you’re probably not reading this blog, but just in case), but you’ve never really given the issue a lot of thought, check out Ms. Marcotte’s full article on AlterNet, in which she goes into detail about why each of the statements below is true. Or if you support reproductive rights, read her piece to brush up your knowledge on why abortion isn’t evil.

10 Things Amanda Marcotte Would Say to the Anti-Choice Fanatics Trying to End Access to Abortion

  1. Most abortions take place early in pregnancy.
  2. If not for anti-choicers, even more women would get abortions much earlier in their pregnancies.
  3. Doctors perform late term abortions because of medical indications, often on women who desperately wanted the baby.
  4. Women who get abortions aren’t afraid of being mothers.
  5. Abortion is physically safe.
  6. Abortion is mentally safe.
  7. Women who get abortions take responsibility for their decision.
  8. Abortion providers are responsible medical professionals who work to make sure their patients are healthy and avoid future unintended pregnancies.
  9. Women get abortions because they’re being responsible.
  10. Conservative policies cause the abortion rate to be higher than it needs to be.
10 Things Amanda Marcotte Would Tell Anti-Choicers

Remembering Dr. Tiller

Brianne Bilyeu, , 677 Comments

Today marks the second year since the assassination of Dr. George Tiller, a pro-choice advocate and provider of reproductive health services, including late-term abortions. On May 31st, 2009 an anti-choice extremist named Scott Roeder shot and killed Dr. Tiller. Roeder was convicted by a jury of his peers on charges of first-degree murder and aggravated assault, and was sentenced to life without parole.

The stiff penalty for killing an abortion provider doesn’t seem to be detering other would-be murders. Last Thursday Ralph Lang, a 63-year old anti-abortion extremist was arrested in Madison, Wisconsin when he told police that he had driven in from Marshfield, WI to shoot  the doctor and nurses at a Madison Planned Parenthood.

There is a long history of persecution, harassment and violence against those who provide abortions or who work to ensure access to abortion. In 1995, David J. Garrow of the New York Times wrote that this type of extremism “is the death throes of an anti-abortion movement in which almost every remaining participant realizes that the war to overturn Roe v. Wade has been irretrievably lost.” Would that he had been right, but 16 years after that article was published our abortion providers still have to wear bulletproof vests to work. Clinics still need enhanced security and volunteers to ensure that patients can get to their appointments. Legislators are still introducing new bills that would restrict women’s access to abortion.

Pro-choice advocates often do not receive the positive recognition, support and accolades that they so richly deserve. There is a lovely post over at Almost Diamonds which urges all of us on this Memorial Day to recognize not only the veterans of US wars and military engagements, but those who have fought to ensure our freedom in other areas of our lives.

I recognize Dr. George Tiller, Dr. Barnett Slepian, Officer Robert Sanderson and Nurse Emily Lyons, Dr. Jack Fainman, Dr. Hugh Short and Dr. Garson Romalis, Shannon Lowney and Leanne Nichols, Dr. John Bayard Britton, James H. Barrett and June Barrett, Dr. David Gunn. I recognize all of the employees and volunteers of clinics who support or provide abortion, who work to keep clinics open and serving their communities despite the potential for harrassment, violence and even death that is, frustratingly, just part of the job. This Memorial Day I remember their courage and their sacrifices.

Remembering Dr. Tiller

Photos of PPFA Supporters

Brianne Bilyeu, , , 487 Comments

Yesterday I posted the story of my experience at the Good Friday  counter-protest that was held during the pro-life prayer vigil at Highland Park Planned Parenthood. Here are some of my favorite photos from yesterday, and here’s a big shout-out to everyone who took time on a Friday morning to show their support for men and women’s access to reproductive and sexual health.

Photos of PPFA Supporters

Planned Parenthood on Good Friday

Brianne Bilyeu, , , , 646 Comments

Good Friday protesting is a tradition at the Highland Park Planned Parenthood in St. Paul, MN. Every year on this day a prayer vigil is held and hundreds of anti-choice supporters gather to pray to God for an end to abortion. In response, hundreds of pro-choice supporters gather to walk and cheer their support for the services that Planned Parenthood provides and a woman’s right to reproductive choice.

This is the first year that I’ve participated in the solidarity event, and the first time I have visited the Highland Park Planned Parenthood. I arrived at 7:30am and found a parking spot not too far from the clinic. Everything was very well-organized with cones, mobile fencing and plenty of uniformed police. An area for protesters was set up on one side of the clinic’s driveway, PPFA (Planned Parenthood Federation of America) supporters were on the other. There was a division between the two groups of about the length of the clinic itself, and the only people who were allowed to stop in this neutral zone were police and on-duty Highland Park clinic escorts.

The police and escorts were very good about keeping people from both groups off of the sidewalks and property unless they were walking through (that’s my way of saying I was wrist-slapped twice during the day for standing on the sidewalk while I took photos).  

Both groups were setting up when I arrived. I signed in at the pro-choice supporter’s booth, grabbed a sign (“Women’s Health Matters”) and joined a small group which had started walking clockwise around our “pen”.

The PPFA supporter sign-in area was in the clinic parking lot, but escorts did a great job of keeping the driveway entry clear for patients and staff.

At around 7:30am, the walk begins!

One of the first things I noticed as I was getting in line was a nearby run-down white building with a sign out front that said “Highland LifeCare Center”. I walked down to take a look.

Ugh. Yup – Crisis Pregnancy Center. CPCs usually position themselves close to clinics that provide abortions. This isn’t a medical clinic, but a “counseling” center. CPCs exist to try to keep women from getting abortions, and they have been known to use some pretty sneaky and underhanded tactics to achieve that goal. Bummer that this one is here.

8:00am and the crowds grow larger:

As time went on, more and more people showed up for both sides. There was no drama that I saw; both sides kept to themselves. The protesters chanted bible verses, sang hymns and church leaders showed up to give sermons and lead prayers. There were a few anti-choice signs, but nothing graphic, no bloody fetus replicas or yelling or screaming. I think that for most of them this was a pretty solemn occasion.

Okay, I swear that the appearance of the DQ Chicken Strip sign is purely coincidental and was not an attempt at humor. But it does kinda look like one of the marchers could be carrying it, doesn’t it? Pro-lifers for Chicken Strips!

There was little to do except chat, walk and cheer – which was a blast! I had a chance to meet some interesting people, including a lovely, charming woman who has been involved in the pro-choice movement since 1991. She told me about the illegal abortion she obtained back in the day, and how years she later she tracked down the doctor who had provided her abortion in order to thank him. I spoke with a gentleman who is interning with the MN National Organization for Women, and who I had met at the much chillier Walk4Choice back in February. And then I ran into some friends who I hadn’t even known were pro-choice supporters!


Walking at PPFA solidarity events is a great way to make new friends…


…and a good place to have surprise meet ups with current friends!

We were walking on Ford Parkway and there was a lot of passing traffic, a lot of supportive horn honking, and very little heckling. I did see one woman make a cross with her fingers (what are we – vampires? And get your hands back on the steering wheel, lady!), and I heard another walker exclaim, “I think that woman just hissed at us!” and start giggling. The supporters who drove by were very vocal and wildly waved out of their car windows or gave thumbs up. For those who didn’t agree with our message, well…Minnesota Nice kept them most of them politely disdainful and quiet.

Around 10am some of the PPFA supporters held a non-denominational service and sing-along.

And that was about it for me. There was a little drizzle, and the weather was cool, but not not horribly uncomfortable. I ended up leaving at around 11:30am when the crowds swelled so much that we could hardly move around our allotted space. I ran off to have lunch with the Hubby, and on the way back to his office we drove by and added some of our own honking and waving to the mix.

All in all, it was a really good experience and I’m glad I participated.

Planned Parenthood on Good Friday