And this is why you’re not allowed to practice medicine.


Saturday was a rough one at the abortion clinic.

The crowds are getting might holy, what with Zombie Jesus Day just around the corner. The morning started out fairly easy; it was gray and drizzly and we thought that the weather might keep most of the protesters away. It seemed like that was going to be the case for most of the four-hour shift.

Then, about two and a half hours in, a crowd arrived from a local church. It was comprised of a number of families, including teens, young kids and a few babes en pousette. All in all, maybe 25 protesters.

2014-04-12 09.53.46A handful of the random visiting protesters who, in all likelihood, won’t be seen again until next Easter-time.

The teenagers seemed bored to be there, and had to be coaxed from their little huddle into walking down the sidewalk with their signs. At one point a little kid said, “Mommy, it’s cold – I want to go home.” To which Mom replied, “We live in Minnesota – of course it’s cold.” and went back to waving her gore porn at passing traffic.

This gentleman stood right at the property line and read teh bible at us for about 45 minutes, although he went off script a couple of times because those parts about Jesus condemning abortion…I don’t remember those parts (‘cuz they don’t exist – get it?). Seriously – dude made up scripture on the spot…just for little old us!

Middle-aged man reading from a bible.

Later his wife came over and lectured us about…actually I don’t really know…me and fellow clinic escort, Niki, managed to keep up a running conversation in spite of the caterwauling, and I only caught the occasional “killing babies”, “sin”, and “God.”

This morning also included a rare instance of Brianne Losing Her Temper And Engaging a Protester. One of the regulars who is known for taunting escorts was waving a four-month old infant at us, entreating us to look at how beautiful he is, and why would we deny a mother a beautiful baby like this, and would we kill this baby? I turned and snapped, “Stop using that child as a prop!” and immediately did an internal “D’oh!” and facepalm. Sure enough, the next few minutes were filled with the protesters gleefully exclaiming stupid stuff like “So you ADMIT that you think this is a child! What’s so different between him and the children that are murdered in there!?”

Just…engaging never gets you anything but more frothy-mouthed engagement.

*grumbles* And of course that’s a child, you nitwit. That a four-month old infant is a child is not the point of contention between us, dumb-dumb.

Yeah, rough morning.

Another head-explody moment came when one of the regulars caught sight of Niki’s awesome Surlyramic showing a “no coat-hanger” symbol on (like this), and said…

She actually said…

Hang on. Let me catch my breath for this…

She says, “What’s the difference between a coat hanger and curette?” Now, this is writing, and her tone might not be coming across just so, so allow me to clarify. This was a snotty, righteous “How come you’re against coat hangers but okay with curettes since they both cause baby murderin’?” kind of asking going on here.

Let me get this straight: You need me to explain to you the difference between a dirty, makeshift hook used by a desperate person on themselves, which might result in a penetrating or perforating wound to vagina or cervix, potentially leading to septicemia…and a sterile surgical tool wielded by a trained doctor in the course of an exceedingly safe, (currently) legal outpatient procedure, which is very unlikely to cause any physical trauma to the patient? You need me to explain that coat hangers are what happens when access to abortion doctors and curettes isn’t available? You really don’t see a difference between these two things?

Hand in your medical license right now, preacher-lady. Oh, that’s right…you don’t have one. Well thank Jebus for that. Now if you would just stop flinging around medical advice like you have specialized training in that arena…that would be great.

One happy thing was that between the rainy weather, the intimidating crowds and an odd scarcity of street parking, most of the patients seemed to choose to park in the ramp, which means they weren’t subjected to a lot of direct harassment. So that’s a good thing.

*wanders off muttering* …difference between a coat hanger and a curette? C’MON.

Comments

  1. Hj Hornbeck says

    One of these days, I’ve gotta try clinic escorting down there. It sounds like a circus compared to the bored, polite protesters we get in the Northern Prairies.

  2. Kongstad says

    Stories like this make me happy that this is not an issue in my country – Denmark – and sad that there ere people like that.

    You do incredibly important work, and I’m sure that you make a real difference in many womens lives.

  3. pro-choice pastor says

    Makes me very angry that those who fight so hard for unwanted pregnancies to result in the birth of children, by judging, shaming and just plain bullying pregnant women and their advocates, are the first ones to lable them and their parents “welfare scum” once they are born into a situation where the parents might not have the financial or emotional means to provide for them (or even go through a full term pregnancy.)

    Also makes me angry that these few, fringe extremists want people to think that their views and tactics are shared by ALL people of faith. I’ve had a front row seat to the “coat-hanger” mentality when, while calmly explaining that most mainline, protestant denominations are very pro-choice, I was aked if “mainline” meant that we were also in favor of people doing drugs…

  4. jamessweet says

    engaging never gets you anything but more frothy-mouthed engagement.

    This is true in so many aspects of life. It’s beginning to really get me down. :(

  5. ImaginesABeach says

    I thanked you at Skeptech for doing this. I may not have been effusive enough in my thanks and praise. I’m so happy that there are people like you who do this.

  6. says

    reminds me of the time a protester tried to convince me 5-week-old embryos have a functioning brain because that’s what makes the heart beat.

    on another note: making scriptures up on the fly = hilarious bible fail.

  7. says

    Honestly, every time you manage not to punch one of these nitwits in the face I admire your restraint. I’m not a violent person but that coat hanger comment would have done me in and I probably would have had to be restrained.

    Keep up the amazing work.

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