Sloganizing Atheism – Try Jesus

Moar Sloganizing!

To learn about the thoughts behind Sloganizing Atheism, read this brief post. In the comments you can add your own response or atheist/secular alternative to the sign o’ the day. Submit original photos with captions/response/secular alternatives to


Okay – so Jesus Is … was one of the most popular Sloganizing Atheism posts that we’ve had. I’ve been threatening to start a recognition thingamaroo one of these days once SA picked up steam, and TODAY IS THAT DAY! In the comments you can leave your alternate slogan for today’s SA as usual, but then also add your favorite slogan or comment from the Jesus Is … post (I’d prefer that you put all of this in one comment, plz, but the world won’t stop spinning if you don’t).

The commentor who is most widely nominated will get named Biodork Sloganeer and will be immortalized on the interwebs on a special page called….wait for it….drumroll…”Biodork Sloganeers“. It’s lame-ish, but maybe we’ll do something special for the Sloganeers in future. Maybe we’ll make hats. Or something. I’m (sorta seriously) thinking about getting buttons made with the favorite slogans on them and sending them out to the winners. We’ll see. If you’ve got ideas, let me know about them in the comments or by email.

Yeah…you can nominate yourself. Please only nominate one slogan.

And today’s Sloganizing Atheism is a bumper sticker and snarky response from Garrett:

1) I did, and I prefer Ritz.

2) Good to know who the more welcoming deity is.


  1. Emu Sam says

    Can Biodork Sloganeers do as with the Order of Molly and write their names (i.e.) Emu Sam, BS?

    • Brianne Bilyeu says

      Hells to the yeah I’d get behind that. Would you want to have “BS” after your name, though? Maybe BDS? BD Sloganeer?

  2. JustKat says

    Try Jesus – tastes just like chicken!

    On the “Jesus Is” my favorite was Kevin @ #5.

  3. Randomfactor says

    Not original with me, of course. Comes from the original: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord…the OTHER white meat.”

  4. Gregory in Seattle says

    Try Jesus… Now certified STD free!

    Try Jesus… Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!

    Try Jesus… Free for 30 days!

    Try Jesus… With an appetizer and dessert for only $7.99!

    • StevoR says

      No. Not really fair or funny. People are responsible for their own actions not the actions of others.

      Jesus if he existed as anything like the figure of the NT was a non-judgemental, non-violent compassionate individual who would I’d imagine, be horrified and disgusted at manty of the crimes his followers have committed in his name.

      Worst Jesus was guilty of was causing a public nuisance, perhaps sedition against King herod and Governor Pilate. Oh, okay and assualt on some merchants in the Temple.

      Now the “prophet” Mohammad OTOH ..

  5. The Rose says

    Try Jesus, if you don’t like him. I heard he doesn’t like figs. Or maybe say something about his mom.

  6. kagekiri says

    Try Jesus*

    *Jesus does not work for everyone. If you fail to see results after your conversion, you may experience victim-blaming and accusations of the failure being your fault.

    Side effects of Jesus may include bigotry, self-righteous delusions, distorted views of reality, and martyr-complexes.

    Do not take Jesus if you’re using reason, rationality, skepticism, or a desire for truth, as these medications will interfere with the efficacy of Jesus. Remember: Jesus is not a substitute for clear thinking or actually seeking medical attention when required.

    Jesus is not approved by the FDA for use on children, the elderly, the grieving, or others prone to emotional manipulation and dogmatic brainwashing. Please use Jesus responsibly.

    Jesus may cause extreme guilt and nihilistic self-hatred, and can lead to impotence and sexual shame. Please consult your local skeptic to see if Jesus is right for you.

  7. Makoto says

    Try Jesus.. try to come back. You’re still not back, despite the “promise” to be back within the current generation of the stories that claimed to see you. But still, try! That would really settle the whole “which religion is right, if any” debate! And probably get you more followers, if you existed and could pull it off!

  8. kim says

    Yea, try Jesus. Could you just try a little bit? Is that asking too much from you? Jesus, what a slacker.

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