So, this conversation ensued after I asked someone about the Jar Jar Binks doll on her shelf.
Me: Jar Jar Binks was your son’s baseball team’s mascot? With all the issues surrounding that charcter? That’s an odd choice.
Her: What? Why? What issues?
Me: (Danger danger Will Robinson) You know, all the hulabaloo about Jar Jar being racist…err…that is (how to explain this) how he was a racist caricature of Jamaicans or of black people who use ebonics.
Her: WHAT? Are you kidding me? I’ve never equated Jar Jar Binks with racism.
Me: Well, you’re white – you’re not subjected to a lot of the stereotypes that non-white people are faced with. Go home and google “Jar Jar Binks Racism” and you can see the reasons why some people feel the way they do about him.
Her: But, Jar Jar doesn’t act like a black person.
Oooo girl! Dafuq you just say?
Me: What!? How does “a black person” “act”? (Yeah I did air quotes. Twice.)
Me: Never mind. Listen, a lot of the criticism about Jar Jar came from people who have had to deal with the kind of stereotypes that the character embodied.
Her: You mean black people think that Jar Jar is racist?
Me: Well, I’m sure that some of the people who objected to him were black.
Her: I don’t believe in playing the race card.
Me: Yeah, well, you’re white.
Her: I don’t think anyone should play the race card.
Me: Umm…you don’t have a race card to play, so what you’re saying is that you don’t think black people should complain about things that they find offensive to them?
Her: No, it’s just that people are so sensitive. It’s like they’re looking for anything to get offended about. I mean (looks around the room and points to a pot of purple and pink flowers), look at that flower pot. There’s no yellow flowers in there. Next thing you know, someone’s going to say that I’m discriminating against Asians.
Me: (jaw hitting the floor, stuttering). You, umm… I don’t think that’s a good example of what… I don’t think… you…
Her: So do you think I should take Jar Jar off of my shelf? I don’t want to offend anyone.
Me: (Why stop now?) No. Noooo. Nah, Jar Jar’s just a character from Star Wars, right? Hey, I gotta get going.
Her: (Sensing something is awkward) Hey, you know, I don’t like the “N” word, just so you know.
Me: (Brain splattering inside of my skull) Well, that’s good.
Her: But if we’re going to say that, then I don’t think anyone should use it, regardless of skin color.
Me: (Brain, which had started to reform, liquefies) That’s a thought. Well, see you later.
This is just one more case that shows how Jar Jar Binks is the root of all that is bad in this world.
Also, I bet you didn’t think I could re-introduce the Jar Jar Binks racism conversation this late in the game, didja? I’m just that good.