Y U NO TELL ME?

I was at a Minnesota Skeptics Drinking Skeptically last night and we moseyed into the topics of religion and the bible. Someone mentioned that there are two creation stories in the book of Genesis, and I was a little bemused to realize I didn’t know what they were talking about. I read the bible in its entirety back in college, but it’s been a while. I looked at the group and said, “I hate to say this, but I think I’m going to have to read the bible again.” One of the guys got a huge grin on his face and told me that he had the perfect version for me:

Of all that is unholy, Y U NO TELL ME THIS EXISTED?

The book contains some of the more better-known biblical stories, but the LOL Cat Bible Translation Project that started in 2007 has translated everything into lolcat.

Here’s an example of Adam wussing out before God (Ceiling Cat, of course) and blaming Eve for his decision eat the apple:

*sniff* I love my life.

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Y U NO TELL ME?
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    It almost makes me wish I was still a Christian – I’d bring this translation to church every week, and read from it with a perfectly straight face.

    And I would be sure to pause and glare sternly at anyone that started giggling 😀

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    U no noez? O noes! Nao u noez. Wud ov tell u, if I noez u no noez.

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    Billy Connolly

    in just Sean Connery, Funnyman is possibly the most famous living Scotsman. But it was when he reevaluated comedy that his career really took off. an appearance on Michael Parkinson’s chatshow in the 1970s rocketed him into the top rank of stardom and he has since starred in Hollywood films, specifically Mrs Brown, For which he was nominated for a Bafta. He continues to appear as a stand up, Delighting prospects with his down to earth Scottish humour.

    Sir admits sexual exploits as young man were ‘clumsy and embarrassing’The Big Yin says his early sex education was on a what was written on toilet walls and asking his fellow shipyard workers where babies came from.

    Admits Govan shipyard workmates branded him ‘gay’ due to outfitsThe Big Yin says he stood out like a sore thumb in the tough shipyards of Glasgow but he owes his success in life to his tough talking former mates

    ‘Getting belted at school inspired my stand up’ admitsThe 77 year old said classroom battles between “the large boss and the wee man” if him with much of his stage material

    Reveals embarrassing nickname he was given at school The comedian was branded ‘cuddles’ by an irate teacher in his Glasgow primary school and the sad thing is the nickname stuck.

    Takes massive earnings drop since retiring from stand up comedyAccounts for the Big Yin’s Rambling Man company show the legendary comic really has more than 2.3m in the financial institution.

    Scots couple pen remarkable lockdown life song inspired by ‘s Divorce hitCoronavirusMartin Borland and finance Kirsty Chalmers, which have both been put on furlough leave, Were discussing the Big Yin’s hit Divorce when inspiration struck.

    Teams up with Edinburgh chocolatiers to design special chocolate bar to raise funds for NHSThe chocolate bars pay homage to the outstanding work completed by NHS workers

    Top 10 Scottish Disney heros revealedEntertainmentScotland and its actors have played pivotal roles in many Disney films.

    E book demand soars russian dating following library closures caused by coronavirusStirlingThe temporary closure of Stirling’s libraries has seen demand for eBooks soar.

    Opens up on ‘hell’ of Glasgow childhood in area now known as hipster’s paradiseBilly has said he thinks it is ‘strange but nice’ that the formerly rundown Anderston area has been transformed into one of the city’s swankiest postcodes.

    Foul mouthed BBC show to look at ways changed how Scotland swears Social taboos around bad language are explored in a fascinating new BBC documentary about swearing’s place in Scottish society as director John MacLaverty gives Paul English the lowdown on low language.

    Reveals which Scots actor he’d want to play him in movie biopicThe Big Yin was asked who he’d like to play him and chart his journey from a young welder on the Glasgow shipyards to internationally renowned comedian.

    Sir would consider get back on acting if a “Nice solution” Came upThe comedian was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2013.

    Sir admits he will never perform stand up again due to Parkinson’s battleThe Big Yin says his condition has ‘made his brain work differently’ and it meant he could no longer perform before a live audience.

    Actor Brian Cox to lead ny city Tartan Day ParadeBrian Cox (professional)The Dundee born star said he feels ‘honoured’ to remain leading the procession for a second time

    To the rescue after Pamela’s car wash shopping blunderThe Big Yin was left to add the pieces after Pamela Stephenson forgot the weekly shop was lying exposed in their truck.

    Scots comedian Jim the Farmer reveals motivation behind his jokes ComedyJim Smith’s video about Darth Vadar coming from Fife has been viewed nearly seven million times.

    Earns over 3m for final persist gigs before retirementConnolly, 77, that Parkinson’s, Retired as a fully stand up in 2018 but hinted of a return for a one off gig.

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    ‘s words of wisdom and De Niro’s latest dig at Trump in Adam Miller’s round up of the past seven days

    Beat his acting nerves by taking advice from legendary James Bond actor Sean ConneryThe Big Yin revealed that he was able to land some top roles in films after receiving acting tips from the legendary James Bond actor.

    Amazon is selling ‘s new book intended for half price but only for a limited time AmazonAmazon have some cracking offers on today including ‘s Tall Tales And Wee Stories going for under 8 and huge discounts on perfume, Pet food and Doritos!

    Adopts adorable rescue dog and fans think it looks like himGlasgowThe 77 year old’s fans took to Twitter to comment on his resemblance to cute pooch Lincoln.

    Revealed as comic Richard Herring’s dream podcast guest ahead of Glasgow showDespite choosing everyone from Steve Coogan and Bob Mortimer to Dawn French and Sarah Millican, The star podcaster says the Big Yin will always remain on top of his list.

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