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Feb 16 2012

He’s baaaaack!

Remember the first Purity Bear that saved our male hero from the female seductress? Well, Purity Bear is back and this time she’s a a gal!

Don’t forget to watch all the way to the end of the movie, where you can see these vague and un-referenced “facts”:

  • 2/3 of girls wish they had waited longer.
  • Young men who are sexually active outside of marriage are 3x as likely to suffer chronic depression.
  • Virgins who wait for marriage have a higher success rate.

Thanks (for nothing), Purity Bear!

 

22 comments

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  1. 1
    Hazzard

    Virgins who wait for marriage have a higher success rate.

    As opposed to virgins who don’t wait for marriage? And, uh…success at what, exactly?

    1. 1.1
      Kevin, Youhao Huo Mao

      That’s exactly what I was going to ask.

    2. 1.2
      DrewN

      They’re successful at keeping their virginitys until marriage obviously. Tautologies are fun.

  2. 2
    markwallen

    Where did they find this music? And the bear voice… oh why…

  3. 3
    Ace of Sevens

    Young men who are sexually active outside of marriage are 3x as likely to suffer chronic depression.

    I’m not sure what they are even comparing to here. Are they comparing to young men who are married and sexually active with their wife? Bachelors who aren’t getting any? Married guys who aren’t getting any?

    1. 3.1
      F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

      Guys who go looking for sex to make themselves feel better because they are depressed? Guys who are depressed because they don’t have a fulfilling relationship, including a lack of sexual intimacy? Entirely fabricated statistics about vague, ill-defined notions used to build a sentence which includes “sex” and “men” which is meant to be scary?

      We could do this for hours, probably.

  4. 4
    lordshipmayhem

    I see Pedobear is moonlighting again…

  5. 5
    space cadet

    For the first 45 seconds everything that was said implied (to me, at least) that this was a first date, especially the “…I really feel like we got to know each other” bit. Next thing you know they are both dropping “I love you!” on each other. WTF? I have to seriously question whether or not the people who made this video have ever been in a relationship, much less on a date.

    1. 5.1
      Longfellow

      That’s exactly the impression I got. Those were also the worst-acted “I love you”s ever.

    2. 5.2
      Brianne Bilyeu

      The Hubby noticed the same thing. “Oh, first date and ‘falling in love’? Yeah, that’s healthy.”

    3. 5.3
      Suzanne

      They’re in a hurry to “fall in love” so they can get married and have sex of course.

  6. 6
    nemothederv

    Young men who are sexually active outside of marriage are 3x as likely to suffer chronic depression.

    question #1. 3x as likely as who? Married men? Non married celibate men? Divorced honey badgers? Who?

    question #2. Are they trying to imply that sex causes chronic depression?
    question #3. Does marriage magically turn bad depressing sex into happy joy sex?

    question #4. Do they actually expect me to believe this and not assume that they pulled this data directly out of someone’s ass? Seriously?

    final question: Do they realize that using a child’s stuffed toy to convey a sexual viewpoint is extremely creepy?

  7. 7
    nemothederv

    I believe 2/3 is also the divorce rate in this country.
    Did they ask women about waitng on sex or marriage?

  8. 8
    Jarreg

    I was half expecting Trojan Man. The best acted part was the bear and I don’t mean the voice over. Surreal.

  9. 9
    KonekoN1nj4

    My favorite part is the comparison of women to a used pizza box!

    Once he’s gotten teh sexay from you, you are worthless to him.

    If you have suspicions that the dude you are dating is only into you for the sex and you are looking for something more….probably shouldn’t continue dating him.

  10. 10
    carolw

    I made my husband play this the other night when I saw that it was a new Purity Bear video, and when their “facts” came up I yelled, “citation, please!” and my husband yelled, “according to who?” at the same time. We share a brain. :)

  11. 11
    carolw

    It’s also funny that that young lady appears to live at a church.

  12. 12
    frankb

    If you start seeing a creepy teddy bear that no one else sees, and if that teddy bear speaks to you and you alone, then it is time to move out of that church and not let the pastor pour your drinks for you anymore.

  13. 13
    eric

    Reminds me of Sensual Christmas Bear.

    1. 13.1
      Brianne Bilyeu

      Okay…that…that was not right.

  14. 14
    Jadehawk

    i highly suspect that “wish I’ve waited longer” actually means “wish my sex-life skipped the awkward, fumbly ‘no clue what we’re doing’ phase and went straight to ‘experienced fun’”. At least, everyone I’ve had a longer conversation with after they mentioned they wished they’d waited longer really just seem to mean that their first experiences with sex weren’t exactly great, and they blame it on “not waiting long enough” rather than inexperience

  15. 15
    Jadehawk

    wait; did they actually say goodbye with a handshake? lulz

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