In which everyone’s irony meters explode yet again

The latest funny thing I’ve gotten in my inbox from the American Family Association is a plug for a low-budget Christian movie called Flywheel, an earlier effort, broadcast on TBN back in 2003, from the producers of theatrical release Facing the Giants. Reading the plot synopsis, I wonder if ol’ Don Wildmon saw a little too much of himself in the description of the protagonist.

This movie is about a used car salesman, Jay Austin (Alex Kendrick), who uses his smiling face and hasty promises to cover up his dishonesty and manipulation. He does everything his way until his true character is exposed and he becomes disgusted by the masks he wears and the lies he tells.

Gee. Except for that last bit, it could be Wildmon’s life story!

What still hasn’t been reported about the bomber

The would-be family planning clinic bomber Paul Ross Evans was indicted today on a number of charges, including attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction. He got most of the materials for his bomb at a local Wal-Mart and used his credit card for the purchase. It didn’t take too much effort to solve the crime. He faces a potential sentence of life in prison. Apparently, he realized the seriousness of his little stunt while awaiting trial and he made a suicide attempt.

It might be interesting to readers to know that this event occurred in Austin Texas, the home town of the Atheist Experience. While Austin is a great place to live, we have our nuts, too.

The press has been eerily silent about the motivations of this guy. Anybody who pays the slightest bit of attention to the culture war knows that the only people who care about making trouble for family planning clinics are the hard-core Christian conservatives. I’ll bet anyone that this guy had some religious indoctrination along the way. I wonder if he didn’t get some of that faith-based programming while he was in prison earlier. I seriously doubt the mainstream media will look into the question, given their pro-religion bias. Believers certainly don’t like to be confronted with the reality that belief (denying reality) has bad consequences. It’s bad for newspaper sales.

The press has reported that the guy has no known affiliations to terrorist groups, but I think perhaps it’s time we broaden the definition of terrorist groups to include some more of these religious extremists. It seems that there is some confusion about what kind of crime the Department of Homeland Security is supposed to go after. If this sort of bombing isn’t an example of domestic terrorism, I don’t know what is. Meanwhile, DHS is apparently charged with going after child predators, yet the leaders of the largest pedophile organization in modern history still flaunt the law, impede investigations, and roam free. Can anybody guess who they are? Perhaps it’s time we stop giving religious believers a free ride in the morality department. After all, aren’t they supposed to adhere to a higher standard?

Back to the Paul Ross Evans story, I can’t help but point out the irony of “pro life” people trying to plot murders. “Pro life” seems to be little more than a marketing device. If you believe that human bodies are just soul traps, that souls are the essence of a person, and that it’s the ultimate destiny of the soul to escape the trap, you’re naturally going to de-value human life. Not surprisingly, countries with more believers also have more suicides and murders. …Oh, and higher abortion rates, too. (Too many ironies for one paragraph. That last point really calls for a separate post.) You can bet that Paul Ross Evans believes that humans have souls. He might even believe that he’ll have a special place in Heaven because of his actions.

I have yet to get a definite theological answer on what becomes of the alleged souls of aborted embryos, since Christians seem to think they have them. This question is especially important now that the Vatican has backpedaled on their invention of limbo. If those little buggers go automatically to heaven, then maybe killing them isn’t so bad, as Andrea Yates correctly concluded. If they go to hell, as original sin would indicate, then we have to wonder how Christians live with the fact that their “gift” of free will from a benevolent God is the cause of the infinite torture of innocent little babies.

Can we get religion to just … stop?

Here’s a sobering report from the front lines of battle in Gaza City between Hamas and Fatah. In this case, the front lines are right at the door of this reporter’s apartment, where he spends entire nights with his wife and child huddling in the outer corridor because bullets are blowing out their apartment windows. No matter how crappy your life is right now, I guarantee you’ve never had it as bad as what these people have to go through every day. And make no mistake, this is a religious war. You’ve had these two groups of people, Israelis and Palestinians, and they’ve been killing each other without end over possession of lands believed to be theirs by divine mandate. As a result, horror ensues. If religion did not play such a central role in this area, the hatred and tribalism and attitude of “hey, you have a beard, I have to shoot you!” would not exist. It’s as simple as that.

People, could you just please please stop with the religion thing?

Just stop it! Fuck!

Remembering Falwell

Was out to lunch at Cici’s when word came over the idiot box that Falwell’s ticket had in fact been punched. Fox News currently has nonstop coverage, as if Falwell was some kind of head of state (and I guess in many ways he was), and naturally, spinning a complete hagiography. Just as naturally, there was no mention of what you’re going to read here. Remember that the preacherman who’s being hailed as “compassionate” by Fox’s army of sycophants once made the compassionate remark that “If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.” Guess that must be some of that Christian Love™ we keep hearing about.

Ganked from the ACT UP site: A partial transcript of Falwell and Robertson on The 700 Club, September 13, 2001:

JERRY FALWELL: And I agree totally with you that the Lord has protected us so wonderfully these 225 years. And since 1812, this is the first time that we’ve been attacked on our soil and by far the worst results. And I fear, as Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, said yesterday, that this is only the beginning. And with biological warfare available to these monsters — the Husseins, the Bin Ladens, the Arafats — what we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be miniscule if, in fact — if, in fact — God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.

PAT ROBERTSON: Jerry, that’s my feeling. I think we’ve just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven’t even begun to see what they can do to the major population.

JERRY FALWELL: The ACLU’s got to take a lot of blame for this.


JERRY FALWELL: And, I know that I’ll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way — all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger in their face and say “you helped this happen.”

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, I totally concur, and the problem is we have adopted that agenda at the highest levels of our government. And so we’re responsible as a free society for what the top people do. And, the top people, of course, is the court system.

JERRY FALWELL: Pat, did you notice yesterday the ACLU and all the Christ-haters, People For the American Way, NOW, etc. were totally disregarded by the Democrats and the Republicans in both houses of Congress as they went out on the steps and called out on to God in prayer and sang “God Bless America” and said “let the ACLU be hanged”. In other words, when the nation is on its knees, the only normal and natural and spiritual thing to do is what we ought to be doing all the time — calling upon God.


Falwell later attempted an insincere apology for these remarks.

Another brilliant insight from the Falwellian Hit Parade was his famous remark about the Antichrist: “Who will the Antichrist be? I don’t know. Nobody else knows. Is he alive and here today? Probably. Because when he appears during the Tribulation period he will be a full-grown counterfeit of Christ. Of course he’ll be Jewish. Of course he’ll pretend to be Christ. And if in fact the Lord is coming soon, and he’ll be an adult at the presentation of himself, he must be alive somewhere today.”

Aaaaand — cue another insincere apology.

Then we get around to Falwell’s ludicrous antiscience ravings, such as the time he dismissed global warming as “Satan’s attempt to redirect the church’s primary focus” from evangelism to environmentalism. Let’s see…here we have a majority of the world’s scientists agreeing that human activity has led to measurable climate change, we have Al Gore appearing in an intensively researched documentary bringing these facts to the public, and this is in turn dismissed by a clown who thought it was all a big prank on the part of a mythical being with horns and a pitchfork and a pointy tail. Does lunacy or idiocy describe it better? Discuss.

I’d like to think that things will change with Falwell’s passing. But of course, fundamentalist tribalism, hate and intolerance, and its concomitant superstitious tomfoolery will continue unabated. Who will check out next — Pat, Tim, DJK — and how many contortions will the lapdogs in the mainstream media twist themselves into, to convince viewers of what shining examples of unimpeachable rectitude they were?

Falwell found unconscious in office, rushed to hospital

An alert on CNN has just mentioned this. Yeah, we hate this guy. He’s an anti-Semitic, homophobic scumbag who blamed Americans he didn’t like for “allowing” 9/11 to happen. But we don’t gloat over people who might be passing out and dying. I’ll leave that to the Coulters and Phelpses of the world; they do it so well. Every time someone dies there are friends and families involved, and we hope they are spared any tragedy.

But this event does bring up an interesting point in regards to fundamentalism in America: the old guard is getting old indeed. Falwell, Robertson (who’s had prostate cancer), D. James Kennedy (who’s been hospitalized lately), Paul Crouch and Tim LaHaye are all well past that three-score and ten. When they’re gone, what will the next generation look like? Harsher and more openly theocratic, subtler, or just more of the same?

Somehow, this completely escaped our notice

Christopher Hitchens debated Marvin Olasky in Austin last night, and for some reason, no one in the local atheist community — neither in the ACA nor in the CFI-Austin group — seems to have known it was going to happen at all. According to the brief and rather shallow article in the Statesman, it sounds like it was one of those “lots of heat but little light” affairs, with Hitchens deilvering his usual acid-tongued snark (which can be quite entertaining in its way; I’m about three chapters into God Is Not Great and am enjoying it much more than I anticipated), and Olasky whining about what a big meanie Hitchens is. If anyone reading this actually did manage to go see them, we’d love a detailed report.

A right way, and a wrong way, to protest Ken Ham’s fantasy “museum”

On the one hand, I fully believe that Answers in Genesis’ new “museum” of creationist quackery in Kentucky (as if the south didn’t have to deal with enough ignorant-hick stereotypes) ought to go down in flames as any monument to folly and ignorance should.

But I worry about the effect a formal protest will have, which, I think, will be next to none at all in terms of letting the public know about real science, and instead give Ham and his other little Hamsters plenty of material to work with in order to mount one of their famous “Oooo, the godless Nazi evilutionists don’t want us around because they know we’re telling the truth” lines of nonsense. Anyone who has ever dealt with creationists will know that they lie and lie and lie again, as if they are drawing from a bottomless well of rank dishonesty which is entirely justified, to them, by the belief they’re saving people from their God’s hell. Lies are to creationists as water is to fish. Even a court of law will not stem the tidal wave of their falsehoods, as the Dover trial proved.

Ham and his ilk have a common ancestor: P.T. Barnum. And this “museum” is little more than the present-day equivalent of the Cardiff Giant rolling tent show. Not only are there thousands of uneducated people who will lap up Ham’s nonsense as eagerly as people lapped up the Giant hoax back in the 1800’s, but they’ll be all too eager to buy the conspiracy/persecution theories offered by Ham once supporters of real science allow themselves to be made angry and come out with signs. All Ham has to do is tell the flock that the protestors hate Jesus and are out to take away everybody’s Bibles and turn their children gay, and the airlocks will slam shut on everyone’s ears and minds.

I say if we’re going to do this, is ought to be with mockery. (And maybe that’s the protest’s real plan.) Don’t just stand around holding a sign. Go into the “museum,” tour it, and ask the tour guides (if they have those) pointed scientific questions they won’t be able to answer. Challenge them on their knowledge. Every time a creationist used to call the TV show when I was host, and claim to be very knowledgable about evolution, I’d ask him a simple Biology 101 question: what’s the difference between a genotype and a phenotype? I never got a correct answer, and mostly got indignant huffing and puffing. (This isn’t to say that no creationists know the answer, only the ones who called us.) The point is to let these people know that evolutionary biology is a vast field of science they just don’t know. And that actually knowing facts should not be a scary thing. Remember the myth of Eden: the tree Eve ate the fruit from was — all together now — the Tree of Knowledge. That myth is at the root of all fundamentalist antiscience right down to the present day. Reality must be denied in favor of “faith,” because that’s what keeps the sheep in line and the collection plates full. Knowledge = bad = going to hell, Belief = virtue = going to Heaven.

That’s a seriously emotionally powerful meme to have to overcome with, you know, boring stuff like evidence.

I think it’d be a good exercise to come up with funny ways to demolish the “museum” with satire, and then submit those ideas to people actually planning to attend the protest. If our side is shown to be confident in the facts, rather than being scared of a potential threat to “Darwinist dogma” (because remember, that’s always how the creationists frame it), then a good dose of sarcasm and wit will go much further than you’d think. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and South Park hit bullseyes as often as they do for a reason. Their way of treating things that are stupid really works. We ought to model after their example.

Carnival of the Godless #66

Welcome to The Atheist Experience, and the 66th Carnival of the Godless. We are proud to be hosting this installment, which I confess I wish had an extra digit in its issue number.

If you’ve never read our blog before, or seen the Atheist Experience TV show, or listened to the Non-Prophets podcast, or read the Iron Chariots wiki, I think your visit here will add quite a lot to your online atheism activities. I hope that you will excuse the liberal dose of self-pimpage, but below is a quick “best-of” compendium of AE blog entries from the last few months, which I’m sure you’ll enjoy reading and will perhaps persuade you to bookmark us. As one person of discriminating taste to another, I’m sure you will!

  • First, you can read all my coverage of this year’s The Amaz!ng Meeting 5, hosted by the James Randi Educational Foundation in Las Vegas back in January, by clicking here.
  • You can also watch several video files of Atheist Experience TV episodes by choosing this tag.
  • Pat Robertson predicted the US would fall victim to a nuclear — or is that “nucular”? &#151 terrorist strike this year, and I had, shall we say, a little fun with it. Previously appeared in COTG #57.
  • TV show host Matt Dillahunty has a word or two in response to the hysterical overreaction by some Christian groups upon the discovery of — gasp! — an actual real-live atheist holding public office! Clearly the fall of the republic is at hand, and the barbarians are at the gates!
  • Stephen Rogers crucifies the Crucifixion.
  • In our most linked-to and highly-trafficked post (over 1000 hits from Pharyngula alone), we present a series of YouTube clips revealing Kent Hovind’s phone calls from jail. They display the infamous YEC’s delusions and disconnection from reality to a truly sad degree. A number of comments have also been left by Hovind defenders, some earnest, some sad, most just as deluded as Hovind’s own ravings. As PZ Myers described them, these tapes are a real window into fundamentalist creationist pathology.
  • Stephen again, presenting an example of what he calls “half-hearted evangelism.”
  • I walk all over a popular Christian retort, that there are no such things as atheists, or that atheism presupposes theism, here. Ray Comfort likes to use this one a lot. It’s as dumb as most of what usually comes out of his mouth.
  • Don Baker examines The “Thou Shalt Not Judge” Mind Game.
  • And last but not least, me again, refuting the “appeal to free will” rebuttal to the Problem of Evil.

Now onto this edition’s submissions. Thanks to all the fine godless bloggers who’ve participated. And yes, I actually read all of these before adding them to the list below, because, hey, blog carnivals are all about reading great stuff! Please note these are in no particular order. Just peruse at will. There’s a load of stuff here to choose from, and it’s full of awesome!

And that’s a wrap for this edition! Submit your blog article to the next edition of Carnival of the Godless, which will be hosted on May 27 by Letters from a Broad, using the carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found at the blog carnival index page. Thanks again to all the participants this time, and we’ll see you readers back here again very soon.

I understand it’s a “religion of peace”

Check this out. Pakistan, I am told, is our friend in the War on Terror. That’s what they say. Bush says it, and we know what a stand-up guy he is, so it must be true. And we know the Bush administration takes a hard line against those Islamofascists, too, because they’re always saying so on Fox News. And we know how fair and balanced they are, so it must be true. I mean, the Islamofascists are why we can’t leave Iraq, right? Because that’s where they all are, and so if we leave, well then, they’re just going to swarm the globe in their millions, and it’ll be Islamofascism here, Islamofascism there, Islamofascism everywhere!

So I wonder just how our fine, courageous, standing-up-to-the-terrorists president is going to react if our good fellow-Islamofascist-terrorist-fighting friends in Pakistan pass this bill that would make it a capital crime for a Muslim man to decide he wanted to leave the faith. Hey, at least they’re going easy on women, who would only get life in prison. I suppose this is what passes for “progressive” in an Islamic country. After all, Islamofascists aren’t known for making women’s lives very pleasant. I mean, for real. Like, if you’re a woman, and you live in an Islamic country, it pretty much sucks to be you. So for women who want to leave Islam to get off so lightly with a mere life sentence seems to indicate that Islam has made a bold step forward into the 17th century, at least.

But come on. Really. To pass a law saying that we’ll fucking kill you if you don’t want to belong to our religion any more is pretty barbaric even for Islam, which is already just about the most barbaric belief system any bunch of barbarians ever practiced barbarism under. And I say this as someone who has lived in the Middle East, known plenty of the “good” Muslims, knows what good and kind people they can be, and remains utterly nonplussed that decent folks can continue to live under the yoke of such a totalitarian, anti-human, tyrannical religion. Hell, maybe that’s the problem that has motivated Pakistan’s desire to draft this law. You wouldn’t think they’d need it if there weren’t the real threat of mass defections by good Muslims who have concluded they simply cannot stand by and be part of something so evil any more.

Well, I’m sure Bush’ll give ol’ Musharraf what-for over this. Won’t he? He will, won’t he? Sure he will.