Sometimes you just need to laugh. Especially at the end of a very stressful time in life — say, when you’ve just had an election where the very notion of a free America in which religious right extremists were not on the warpath against women’s bodies, marriage equality, and sanity itself was at a very real risk of crashing down in flames before all our eyes. Sometimes, it’s okay to laugh at deeply silly things that speak directly to our inner Dennis the Menace, as long as no real harm is done.
In this spirit, allow me to introduce Andy Breeden, a Facebook friend of mine whose trolling skills make him the Raphael, or perhaps the Titian of our childish online age.
So that’s fine. They can do that if it makes them happy. Still, the call-and-response comments pour in at such a pace that Andy figured out it would be very amusing to insert random off-color remarks, and screenshot the results before his comments could be deleted. In some cases, Andy admits to having enough of a sense of civility to delete them himself after taking the shot (“like catching a fish, taking a picture and throwing it back”), because, after all, it’s just for a giggle. Because sometimes, a giggle is a great way to let off a little steam…and even if you won’t admit it, your inner Dennis the Menace needs that every now and then.
In honor of Andy’s trolling majesty, I offer this tribute.
31 comments
Skip to comment form ↓
andybreeden
November 9, 2012 at 10:32 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Thanks, Martin! Just to set the record straight, I don’t remove most comments. Just the ones that make even me wince when I read them back. Okay, the one that made me wince.
cafeeineaddicted
November 9, 2012 at 10:37 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
With long and quick threads like these its possible that the messages go unnoticed. Whats the longest you’ve have a message stay up?
Martin Wagner
November 9, 2012 at 10:56 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I’m not even sure the point is to ensure offense to the Christians who see it (though some almost certainly saw it) as to record a moment of trollish posterity for the likes of us.
andybreeden
November 9, 2012 at 11:03 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Martin’s right. It’s just kept between me and anyone with an Internet connection.
Honestly, the volume and frequency of comments are overwhelmingly large. Usually, they don’t even notice. Newer comments wash everything away.
F
November 10, 2012 at 7:31 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Dude, that is childishly delicious. Now show me some mercy, lol.
You know, whenever I hear some IT pundit go on about how the amount of “information” on the internet is expanding exponentially, and how the current estimate is at foo kittybytes, the first thing that comes to mind is that these “Yes lord” things, and stuff like “bitch” and “I had the most amazing sandwich” and “how can I violate every bit of advice in ‘How to Ask a Question’ and also completely fail to make sense while also making weird guesses and assumptions and treating them as fact” are 90% of the constituent parts of this “information”.
aaaaaaaaaand endrant. Sorry, that took on a life of its own. I was just enjoying the way you were messing with all the useless information.
andybreeden
November 11, 2012 at 8:18 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
What a silly comment, F. I loved it.
Jesussessavedme
November 9, 2012 at 10:46 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Jesus will strike down your foolish soul and enlighten your heart to your wrongdoings. AMEN! PRAISE THE LORD!
andybreeden
November 9, 2012 at 10:59 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I could use you, man.
Rabidtreeweasel
November 9, 2012 at 11:08 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Some guy named Jesus saved him from wolverines. True story.
andybreeden
November 9, 2012 at 11:13 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wow. I am learning so much.
jamespollock
November 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
For I am the way and the light, that’s something you gots to get right. Stick with me Kid.
davidhart
November 10, 2012 at 7:07 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wait…Jesus will strike down his soul and enlighten his heart? Does that even work?
andybreeden
November 10, 2012 at 7:23 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Sounds like a case of the mysterious ways.
changerofbits
November 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Only mysterious if you haven’t been “made” by the Christafia.
drivenb4u
November 10, 2012 at 6:07 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Please do this group.. please! they are my favorite.
http://www.facebook.com/OBAMAAGAINSTCHRISTIANS
andybreeden
November 10, 2012 at 6:36 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wow, what a shitty site. Not sure if their comment frequency is high enough. I bet it dropped off recently. Wonder why?
Anyway, I’ll try to remember it. (Against my better judgement. I want to forget it.
)
andybreeden
November 11, 2012 at 8:22 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
No chance now, at least not from me. They blocked me lickety-split.
andybreeden
November 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I hate that Facebook page more and more every day. Speaking of hate, they sure do dish it out.
davidbrunton
November 10, 2012 at 6:52 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I actually find that really creepy. They know what to say even if the question is changed. It’s liek they don’t even use free will any more.
andybreeden
November 10, 2012 at 6:34 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
That’s because there’s so many of them commenting, and so rapidly. And there are so many comments, often the main page doesn’t show any at all. Just the comment count.
When you comment on a really active stream, it must freeze Facebook’s JavaScript or something because you don’t (usually?) see the other 10 comments entered while you were typing that one. After that, it’s buried. Then they usually don’t see it.
I keep comparing it to picking off a few salmon as the masses are heading off to spawn.
Jasper of Maine (I feel safe and welcome at FTB)
November 10, 2012 at 9:13 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I browsed Jesus Daily a few times. It was like walking into an insane asylum.
Jasper of Maine (I feel safe and welcome at FTB)
November 10, 2012 at 9:15 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Every once in awhile there’s a post where people start spelling out all their problems in their lives – asking God (apparently through Facebook) for solutions to financial situations, relationship problems, etc.
I ended up just feeling bad for these people.
CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain
November 10, 2012 at 11:45 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
What’s the purpose of writing “Yes lord” in a comment?
The OP wasn’t their god. That acknowlegement doesn’t make sense if directed to the poster or fellow commenters. Not venting or projecting themselves into the 3rd person. Nor a public display of piety for social gain.
Do they think the only reason someone would post something so inane is because their god is manipulating the poster, so they respond to it in the medium it chose?
andybreeden
November 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Not sure what you’re trying to say, but here’s the post with the “Yes Lord” comments. Does that help?
CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain
November 10, 2012 at 9:07 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
*squint* Oh, they were literally told to write “Yes lord”.
I thought they were volunteering that phrase in response to vague directives like “praise jesus” and were uncreatively copying each other.
andybreeden
November 10, 2012 at 10:41 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Either way, it’s uncreative. And silly.
ethanmyerson
November 11, 2012 at 12:27 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
It goes far beyond silly. The pages that do this sort of thing are after one thing and one thing only: They are generating enormous numbers of “likes” and comments. Those numbers allow the page owners to sell the pages to advertisers for considerable sums.
Your screenshots are freaking hilarious. Nice work.
NonStampCollector
November 10, 2012 at 6:12 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I love it. Made my morning!
andybreeden
November 13, 2012 at 11:24 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I am soooo using your comment as another endorsement.
F
November 10, 2012 at 7:34 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Every time I see “Yes Lord”, I hear it in the voice used in some strange Christian edu-prop which Negativeland mashed up with other bits and pieces in Helter Stupid.
andybreeden
November 10, 2012 at 10:52 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
For what it’s worth (and trust me, it’s not a lot), here are some more.