Texas pastor and Jabba the Hut impersonator John Hagee really, really doesn’t like atheists. Oh, why mince words? He fucking hates our guts, because we exist, period. He wants us all to leave and stop messing up his glorious vision of a fascist theocratic Amerika. Aww, poor ugly baby!
This is a mean, horrible little man who wakes up every morning full of fear, anger and hate; spends his day immersed in fear, anger and hate; and goes to bed seething with fear, anger and hate. What must it be like to be him? The thought of spending one day of my life as John Hagee, thinking the way he thinks (if you can even call the process that), fills me with the kind of light-headed revulsion I feel at the prospect of eating a cockroach pizza. Then again — and I mean this unironically — isn’t it wonderful to know our mere presence on the planet is a large part of the cause of his misery?
Here’s an idea. Let’s make a habit of reminding Hagee that we’re here, we’re American, we’re godless, we’re fabulous, get used to it. Here’s the contact form at his website. It’s unlikely he’ll see any emails sent, because nasty men like him like to isolate themselves from all but a carefully selected, doting inner circle. But it’ll be fun for whomever’s reading it, I’m sure.
Don’t be mean. Don’t be rude. Don’t use four-letter words. Send a little sweet snark thanking Hagee for the touching and gentle way in which he expressed the sentiments of John 13:34 towards his fellow Americans, who just happen not to believe as he does. Then regale him with how proud you are to be American, and how being a godless American is so much better, because atheism linked with humanism makes you compassionate towards all classes of people, and not simply hateful and vindictive towards anyone in your selected out-group. Then let him know about the wonderful things you hope to do to contribute towards making America a better place, by staying in it, and fighting for it, so that one day America is a place free from the shackles of ignorance and fear that religion binds it in, a place where we can move the human race forward with science and knowledge and reason and equality.
I’m sure it will just make their day. Think of it, atheists, being happy! Dogs and cats living together! What is Amerrrrikkkka coming to, baby Jebus!?
It will definitely make yours.
(PS: If you send something, copy-paste it in the comments to share with everyone.)