An absurd aside in the marriage debate
In the recent public hysteria about marriage equality following Obama’s off-the-cuff endorsement, we’ve heard repeated complaints from the religious side of the fence that marriage is an institution ordained by their God, to be run a certain way (i.e. 1 man + 1 woman), and that the evil permissive secularists are ruining it by trying to redefine it so that just anyone can do it. Now, the Christian Right is, of course, claiming Christian ownership of marriage as a concept, though I’m sure they’d magnanimously agree that of course non-Christians can do it too, as long as it all stays properly traditional and heterosexual.
It’s at times like these that it’s interesting to note how the supposed idyll of “traditional” marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and that in religious communities, circumstances can really go pear-shaped when you’re dealing with controlling, narcissistic men who’ve bought into the patriarchalism idea with open arms.
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Which, of course, leads me to my old bete noire, Yomin Postelnik. For those of you relatively new to the blog, here’s the short history: Yomin is a Jewish blogger and wannabe politician from Florida whom I angered about four years ago, when I posted a scathing beatdown of an article he had posted on some right-wing Canadian website purporting to prove God’s existence. I admit that my big mouth can often get away from me, and I just let him and his bad arguments have it.
He discovered my post, and things looked like a mildly interesting flame war was going to roast for a while. But then Yomin bizarrely leveled up, and began slinking around the web, making edits to my Wikipedia entry as well as posting on such venues as the RD.net’s old forum, saying things about me that crossed the line from the usual flaming and trolling into actual, legal defamation. I think the child molestation accusation was where I decided enough was enough, and I actually had my attorney file a libel and defamation suit. I later withdrew it on his advice once it was clear just how beyond the pale a personality Yomin was. The lesson I took from all this (though I admit it didn’t really cause me to reel in my tongue altogether) is that online, you never can tell if the person you’ve just blasted with both barrels is really right in the head. You could, one day, just piss off the wrong guy.
Though I know of no formal diagnosis, I’m convinced (as are Tracie and Jen and those who were present as this whole thing was unfolding) that Yomin may have, at the very least, narcissistic personality disorder. As Wikipedia describes the symptoms, people with NPD “have such an elevated sense of self-worth that they value themselves as inherently better than others. Yet, they have a fragile self-esteem and cannot handle criticism, and will often try to compensate for this inner fragility by belittling or disparaging others in an attempt to validate their own self-worth.” Yomin basically responded to a single blog post of mine by waging a six-month campaign of online harassment, including starting no fewer than three separate blogs dedicated solely to smearing me. Overreact much?
After everything had blown over, I was dismayed to find out late in 2010 that Yomin had been arrested on a charge of misdemeanor domestic battery.
Tracie opined that this was probably not the first such event in Yomin’s marriage, but might finally have just been the one where his wife decided enough was enough, and got the law involved. Based on my brief and not at all pleasant experience with the man, I can see how it might have unfolded, taking possible NPD on Yomin’s part into account. He had just run an embarrassingly inept campaign for the Florida State House (really, he did that), in which he alienated the GOP voter base with many of the same bizarre behaviors I saw him exhibit firsthand, like sock-puppeting on numerous comment threads to make it appear he had a slew of enthusiastic supporters. He garnered 6% of the vote. His need to fulfill his self-image of A Very Important Person (part of his campaign platform was to oppose pretty much anything Obama did, which was a little outside the purview of a state representative) was not coming to fruition. More and more, he found it harder to fill the gap between who he is and who he wants to be with his fantasies. Already a person unable to face criticism, he lashed out at the one person present in his life for that purpose. Again, I know none of the above for a fact, but personal experience tells me he’s the kind of man for whom this is not an unrealistic possible scenario.
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