There’s a fine art to trolling, I am discovering. And when you’re an intensely devout evangelical type with a really awesome stack of scripture quotes and (what you don’t quite grasp are) fallacies that you can’t wait to unload on some pain-in-the-ass online atheists who think they’re so smart, it’s best if you first make sure you’re bringing your trolling A-game. Because you’d better know we will.
In this spirit, allow me to excerpt the more entertaining bits of a recent email exchange we’ve been having with a gentleman named Travis. This is edited for brevity, as Travis is one of those guys who thinks that we will actually read all the way through an email containing enough Bible quotes to fill War and Peace.
How atheism is dead? Lets take a look on how by pointing out to creation. (By the way if you do believe in that nonsense called evolution, here are it’s two hearts that destroy it: time and mutations. Mutations are very rare and at times cause death. Time is not on evolution’s side, it fact it weakens it and mocks it. Take for example you have a old computer, and you take it apart. You put it into a box and shake it. Without touching that box how long will it take to put that computer back in that box? 10 years, 100 years, 1,000 years? Never, because time mocks evolution)
How the Earth was formed: [Three Bible passages.]
Interlude (The Fall of Lucifer changing into Satan) [Two Bible passages.]
Interlude Ended (Back To Creation) [Four Bible passages.]
Conclusion [Passage from Isaiah.]
How God created the rest of earth for seven days
First Day: [And he just goes on like this a whole lot more.]
Thank you for taking the time to copy and paste your favorite passages from a book you like. As a way of showing my gratitude, I will now send you something from a book I like too, and that will seal our friendship.
The Atheist Experience
[Several pages from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland pasted.]
Some days later, Travis replies, none too pleased.
You think the Bible is a game? It is a warning but also a fact your kind is so ignorant that the god of this world (Satan) has fooled you. I believe you don’t like to be fooled by him don’t you, right? Answer this with your humanistic reason, why have many people died over the fact of sin and lived with it like a disease they get rid of? Bible has an answer for that: they are consumed by their own lusts by their heart and they have been alienated from the Word of Truth. How about you look beyond your eyes, because it has shown many times by you atheists have been fooled by your own eye sight. It sickens me what you do and how you do it. Let me explain, you say their is no God yet you treat your brain like a god, you have this thing called rationalization as a god, and you treat yourself like a god. It’s ironic on what ou say yet in secret you worship yourself. You don’t bow down to yourself but it’s the way you act. It’s called hypocrisy in another sense. Why is it you advocates of hell say this, “Join us or we’ll curse you and bash you”? Last time I checked, as an American I have my first amendment freedom. Also as a human I have free will. What I don’t get is how you atheists want to dimish that free will in people. Are you afraid people will soon know the Bible is truth and, atheism has been lying since it’s birth (1300 A.D. around the renaissance time).
[And there’s another paragraph following this where he tries to prove more stuff with Bible quotes.]
So I wrote him back this time.
Cool story, bro. Thanks for sharing!
Please enjoy this picture of a bunny.
We could do this shit all day.
How was your morning?
[PS: In the spirit of fairness, Matt has given him a slightly more serious and respectful reply, which I’m sure Travis will think about very, very deeply.]