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Aug 09 2011

Well, that was weird

So I’m just sitting around when my Google chat pops up.

3:57 PM kyle: russel you got a second

3:58 PM ill get ahold of you

There follows a brief pause as I look Kyle up in my email history, because I have no idea who this is. Turns out I had two email exchanges with him, and it’s abundantly clear that he’s a theist, and that his reason for believing is of the “You can’t prove me wrong” variety.

I don’t want to encourage private chats with someone I don’t like, but I’m not feeling the urge to be too rude, so I go along with only slightly testy non-encouragement.

3:59 PM me: I’m at work. What do you need?

No answer for a few minutes, so I check again.

4:06 PM me: Yes?

4:11 PM kyle: i have a song that has a glory in it.. most the song will be annoying but if you wana hear Gabriel listen in with logic of course



[My inner thoughts: You have a what what in the what now?]

4:12 PM me: Why would I be interested in listening to something annoying?

kyle: not all of it

4:13 PM its all good if your ever intrested let me know

me: Why is it that you’re wanting me to hear it?

4:14 PM kyle: there is a recorded part in it that has no effects and is a angel singing

[Undt how long haff you felt zis vay?]


me: And how do you know that?

4:15 PM kyle: because im one

me: You’re an angel.

kyle: yeah

me: Nice to meet you.

kyle: =)

me: What kind of superpowers do you have?

kyle: lol

mock away

4:16 PM i cant share anything with a fool

me: You’re the one who said you were an angel, I assume you’re having fun with me. I was just playing along.

kyle: lol ill talk to ya later

we will

Oh, snap! He called me a fool! I guess God exists.

39 comments

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  1. 1
    JT

    What.

  2. 2
    Thomas F. Bourque

    Hey Kyle. I'm an elf.

  3. 3
    מיכאל

    What the hell I don't even?

  4. 4
    Zachary

    Can I be a centaur?

  5. 5
    OvertOddity

    Anyone said creepy?

  6. 6
    Madge

    "And I'm God. I told you to go put my son's face on a piece of toast. Quit slacking off or people will start thinking I don't do anything important."

  7. 7
    Daemon6

    I wonder what response he was expecting? O.oI really hope he follows up with something zany :P, I love delusional theists, they're always fun.. ..at least until they get to the psychotic stage :\

  8. 8
    ChaosSong

    I'm an angle, somewhere between 38 and 42 degrees.

  9. 9
    Petr Kudláček

    To quote Day[9]: What hell the fuck?

  10. 10
    Martin

    My hovercraft is full of eels!

  11. 11
    Thoon

    There are some crazy fuckers on the internet. Then there's a real special kind of crazy.I'll always look at that 'leviathon' quote on Fundies Say The Darndest Things and wonder juuust what the fuck inspired that.

  12. 12
    Kara

    What. The. Fuck.

  13. 13
    Sully

    Sadly that was the most well thought out argument for God I've heard in a while

  14. 14
    Sully

    Have you ever considered that he might be like Peter Falk in Wings of Desire?

  15. 15
    optifaster

    It seems like it might have started as an attempt at a "sings like an angel" joke.The delivery needs work.

  16. 16
    DavidCF

    was this a positive experience for you? because – why was it possible? do you really leave your chat availability open to every joe schmoe who's off his meds?

  17. 17
    Raymond

    My pet giraffe told me that he thinks that Kyle is nuts.

  18. 18
    ByDarwinsBeard

    I have a friend who is paranoid schizophrenic. About seven years ago, out of seemingly nowhere, he tells me that he was certain that he was an angel. He went on the explain that he was sent to Earth by god in order to impregnate a girl and that the child would be the second coming of Christ. I really didn't know how to respond to that. I told him to leave and he did so telling me that he knew I wouldn't believe him, that god had told him so. (as if one needed omniscience to know an atheist wouldn't believe he was an angel) It was months before I heard anything from him again. It turns out that he was committed after being arrested for stalking some girl. He's been in and out of various treatment programs since. I'm still friends with him, and he assures me that he no longer thinks he's an angel, but I am not so sure. I can tell that he still has difficulty telling fantasy from reality so I wouldn't be surprised if he still slips into that mentality from time to time. It almost makes me wonder if this is the same Kyle.

  19. 19
    Kazim

    DavidCF: If he starts to annoy me too much, I'll just block him. No big deal.Regarding his mental health: I think the most likely explanation is that he thought this song would convince me that angels exist; I obviously wasn't taking him seriously, so when I put him on the spot he said the first silly thing that popped into his head. As optifaster suggested, it was a humor attempt that flopped, and look how pissed off he got when I asked for elaboration on his angel status.Probably not crazy, just your typical theist who wants something to believe. And, in some cases, can't spell.

  20. 20
    Lukas

    You are all FOOLS! Don't you see the PURITY of his TESTIMONY?!? It makes me sad when you mock him when all he has done is try to save you from making the worst mistake of your lives. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear Matthew 11:15but it does you no good if you refuse to LISTEN!! i think your just scared that if you gave it a chance you would not be able to reject it BUT there's nothing to be scared off. GOD LOVES YOU!In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

  21. 21
    John K.

    A demonstration of superpowers would go a long way in convincing people you are an angel. Until then, the simplest explanation is “dishonest or deluded weirdo on the internet”. Apparently, we can only tell that angels can recognize recordings of other angels. I am going to need something more impressive to be convinced.The argument that something recorded must be an angel argument for god is one I have not heard before. It is original; if not similarly poor in reasoning to most other arguments I have heard.

  22. 22
    Jimbo Slice

    That's bullcr*p. I'm an angel and I've NEVER seen Kyle at any of the meetings.

  23. 23
    Shannon Kish

    So I am guessing that you were supposed to just take him at his word that there is an angel singing and that he happens to be an angel himself? Um, can we say ridiculous?!?

  24. 24
    Strangelove

    Do you have any idea how hard it is to type on a keyboard when you have 50 pounds of angel wings swinging about on your back. His typos transcend your puny human orthography and are a true testament to his angelic nature.

  25. 25
    Tue

    Haha, nice one! ^^ So an angle wants you to listen to a song, because there's an angle in it? :) Guess he's not too confident with his own voice :P

  26. 26
    Neato Spiderplant

    Obtuse angle I assume.

  27. 27
    Father Of Lights

    Like dude…you ever look at a blade of grass and think that maybe that blade of grass is a whole universe…or what if our whole universe was just a blade of grass is some gigantic universe……dude

  28. 28
    Felix

    I can't be sure, but I think a real loon of the type ByDarwinsBeard describes would try to go on about being an angel and some more ad-hoc theology before leaving. Schizophrenics usually want to explain everything to you until you agree, or at least until you admit they probably know something you don't. But if the person also has extreme mood swings, they might feel like just making a joke, and get real serious with you next time. Or start telling you about how your backdoor's lock isn't working and you've got a pretty pillow.

  29. 29
    absolutebob

    Straw man!

  30. 30
    NorthLion

    Hehe, that was pretty funny. I can't wait to have conversations like these, just started an atheist blog of my own if anyone is interested, not sure if it's rude or not to link it straight in a comment like this so I guess I'll wait and see if anyone replies to this comment asking for it. Oh and by the way, it is not the blog that is linked to this google account that I use to comment with.

  31. 31
    Anna Bucci

    I wish I could google chat with russell. harrumph!

  32. 32
    Chad

    It's funny you mention super powers becase I've told people that I would convert to any religion that could grant me super powers. Not only would it be a testable claim, but I could end up a BAMF.

  33. 33
    FrankTheRaptor

    I am a Dinosaur sent back from the future to tell you, that this kind of stupidity will destroy Venus as we know it!

  34. 34
    Faith

    No, seriously, there IS a god and I can prove it! The bruise! The bruise on your head, I know how that happened, you told me the whole story. You were standing on your toilet and you were hanging a clock, you fell, and you hit your head on the sink. And that's when you came up with the idea for the flux capacitor, which is what makes time travel possible. I, uh, mean God. Possible. Flux capacitor.

  35. 35
    Gary C. Warne

    The looney tunes will always be with us.

  36. 36
    Lukas

    I guess there were no takers for that. I should practice my poe'ing more.

  37. 37
    Kazim

    Sorry, Lukas. It was very obvious. The problem is that I don't think Kyle was seriously thinking he was an angel, so for you to claim him as accurate is way beyond what a standard theist commentator would do. Most of them would just say "Hah! You just made up Kyle to make us look bad!" or some such thing.

  38. 38
    PaulE

    Not to long ago I was told to kill myself because I didn't believe in god.. There are crazy people out there.

  39. 39
    PaulE

    too*^

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