Tomorrow (later today, actually) I’ll be heading down to the studio, in drag. I wanted to take a few minutes, before the show, to talk about the process of making this happen and why it’s unlikely to happen again (I think you’ll agree I’ve got good reasons). That said, this is a positive post – because the process has been educational and that’s something that I tend to enjoy.
First, I’m probably not going to be very attractive (but I’m sure someone out there will certainly disagree). I’m a big guy and it was difficult to find clothes that fit, so this won’t be any sort of slinky, sexy number…because my body just won’t do that.
We had difficulty finding a dress in my size that didn’t cost a fortune. We ended up settling on the Urban Nomad versatile skirt from Earthbound Trading Company. It’s actually a pretty cool item and I think I can safely recommend it. Beth got one as well and mine won’t be going to waste as I already have a good friend who would like mine after the show is over. (It’s late, so I’m not linking all of these items…Google is your friend).
I wear a 48R suit jacket and we had one hell of a time finding any bra that would actually fit. We settled for a cheap 52DD bra from Walmart that we’re going to stuff with socks and other things to give me the breasts I’ll need to hold up the dress. We also grabbed a plus-sized camisole, which will give me a layered look. The bra and camisole probably won’t find a home, so I’ll box them up for future costume events that are less extravagant.
We picked up cheap jewelry at the mall, but I only had one of my ears pierced. I didn’t want to take too many shortcuts, so we went ahead and got the other one pierced as well. (Actually, we re-pierced the one that had previously been pierced, as it had partially closed up.) I actually like wearing the earrings, so that will probably stick around.
Shoes just weren’t going to happen. Any shoes in my size were a ridiculous expense for what is, most likely, a one-time event. We settled on some cheap, but stylish, orange flip-flops and Beth hot-glued some sunflowers on them.
Saturday morning, I went to the nail salon for a full manicure, pedicure and eyebrow waxing. No, I’m not joking. I now have gorgeous red fingernails and toenails – and much less bushy, though still far-too-dark eyebrows.
This evening, we attempted to use a Nair-like product to remove hair from my legs and upper body. Absolutely no hair was removed by this cheap, dollar-store knock-off. So…as it was late, out came the clippers that I use to trim my head and beard and off came the body hair. This was followed by a couples shaving session that, I’m pretty sure, strengthened our relationship.
We didn’t remove all of my body hair, though – which prompted Beth to point out that having hair from my nipples to mid-thigh gives the impression that I’m wearing a girdle of hair.
Later today, I’ll get dressed, put on my wig, drive to a friend’s house for the final make-up and then down to the studio.
I’ll spend some time tomorrow talking about what I learned, but the past few weeks have been very informative. I have a great deal more respect for what women and drag queens and people with gender-identity issues have to go through – and I’m not just talking about the shaving and shopping (when nothing fits). More on that tomorrow.
Now for the reason this probably won’t happen again: it’s expensive.
I’m extremely grateful to everyone who donated to Camp Quest and I’ll do almost anything for a great cause. I’m proud of our team, I’m proud of PZ, I’m proud of Camp Quest and I’m very proud of everyone who helped send kids to camp…but the money I spent on nails, makeup, outfits and other expenses will, in the future, simply be donated directly to Camp Quest (or whichever organization I’m raising money for).
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I did this and I think the money was well spent for what I learned – but I’ll try to come up with cheaper incentives in the future, and just donate money directly to the charity involved.
And now, on with the show…
41 comments
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Tyler B
July 17, 2011 at 12:40 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
"This was followed by a couples shaving session that, I'm pretty sure, strengthened our relationship." -Literally LMAO!
Potira
July 17, 2011 at 12:40 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I usually listen to the show as a podcast. Might make an exception for this episode.
Daemon6
July 17, 2011 at 1:05 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
52DD?!I'm struggling to repress the urge to say something comically inappropriate as I don't know you
LOL
toomanytribbles
July 17, 2011 at 1:48 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
you're a hero.
Andy
July 17, 2011 at 1:59 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I feel like tomorrow's show is gonna have a lot of theist morality calls. lol
fathernicolow
July 17, 2011 at 2:05 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
"Literally LMAO!" That's messed up man.(back on topic)Can't wait to see the new sexy Matt
I hope that you get some crazy fundies raving over how your atheism has caused you to become morally depraved 
WildcardMojoJojo
July 17, 2011 at 2:59 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
In this case I may want to listen to the show as a podcast. I may not want to see Matt in drag! It might be great to take a look and I might watch the stream later on anyways, because I will be busy when the show comes on.
KK_Me
July 17, 2011 at 4:00 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Can't wait for tonight's show! Hope PZ calls in
LadyAtheist
July 17, 2011 at 6:24 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I hope that "atheist" homophobe calls in! He's incoherent as it is – can he talk to a man in drag without his head exploding?
Petr Kudláček
July 17, 2011 at 7:17 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wow Matt. After hearing this I am not sure if my girlfriend will even allow me to watch the show tonight. She can get a bit jealous at times.
Alex
July 17, 2011 at 7:18 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
In all seriousness, thank you. The atheist community tends to be mostly male, and I think anything they do to get a better understanding of the experience of being female is a good thing.
Harrod
July 17, 2011 at 7:29 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Who wants to bet a screengrab will end up on Conservapedia with the caption "A typical atheist?"
Mark B
July 17, 2011 at 7:45 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Dr. Myers ought to call in, at least to "congratulate you".
Lukas
July 17, 2011 at 7:59 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
A slightly related link on the subject of gay marriage
Dan Botzu
July 17, 2011 at 8:11 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Oh man, sounds like you went the whole 9 yards.
Scatterer
July 17, 2011 at 8:54 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Just once, while in drag, I want to see and hear Matt Dillahunty say: "No-no-no, you're DONE!"
Emily
July 17, 2011 at 8:55 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
As a transwoman, I've got to say that the first shave is the worst, if for no other reason than the hair is just too long to just shave. I found that a beard trimmer works great for trimming the hair down to a shave-able length. Once there, you can just use a razor to shave it off. With this approach, the first time hair removal becomes more time consuming than hard. A bit late for the hair removal tips, but at this point I guess its just educational. Can't wait to see the show today. I hope I can catch it as it airs
School Master
July 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Bevare! Bevare!Bevare vee great green dragon! He eats little boys; puppy dog tails; und BIG, FAT SNAILS. Bevare! Take care! Bevaaaaare!PULL ZE STRING!!!;)
Eyedunno
July 17, 2011 at 3:41 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
One more hour… can't wait to see Matt as Matilda and Jeff Dee as Jack Nicholson as the Joker!
KK_Me
July 17, 2011 at 4:25 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wow! Awesome costume Matt!
Kazim
July 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
"Are there any calls?"(Lines light up.)"Are there any calls not about Matt in drag?"(Lines all go dark.)
Eyedunno
July 17, 2011 at 5:31 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Charlie Check'm actually had the best calls! (Well, they were the best because they gave a chance to address the naturalistic fallacy, and he was kept from going on and on and falsely spewing fallacy names without understanding what he was saying.) How the hell did that happen?
KK_Me
July 17, 2011 at 5:38 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Great show with really good calls avoiding too much talk about the drag (and Charlie), although Matthilda really looked awesome. Just didn't like that you had to defend religion that much. But you had no choice, it was the rational position to take and anything else would've made you hypocritical.
marlo rocci
July 17, 2011 at 5:39 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Atheist Experience: The Cosplay Episode.
marlo rocci
July 17, 2011 at 5:40 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Next up: Jeff Dee as a schoolgirl.
JT
July 17, 2011 at 5:44 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@KK_MeYeah, that call was great. I now know his entire life story.On the third call, I think, the "middle ground" guy fluctuating between theism and atheism. I certainly was there for awhile. That happens when one's theism wanes gradually. On a day to day basis, my beliefs would oscillate back and forth.Hell, I still have the "God program" running in the background. I still find myself anthropomorphizing reality. It's just that now, I recognize that it's just a program that has to be put in its place, just like I have to remind myself, on occasion, that my social anxiety worries are just in my head.
Bremer
July 17, 2011 at 5:58 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I called into the show at the last moment and felt like an idiot for attempting to talk with the echo of my own voice in my ear, and thought I wasn't clear enough with my question.I'm not a Christian or have any metaphysical bent on nature vs. nurture, but am genuinely interested in the applications of such on the morality of humans. I appreciate Jeff and Matt taking my call, but feel that this old, but important debate, could let theists understand the reasons of how we arrived at our morality. I wish I had more time to talk with the hosts, because ideas such as reciprocal altruism, mirror neurons, and the socio-cultural influences on the individual could clarify many misconceptions and biases from the theists about an atheist's principles.
Blake
July 17, 2011 at 6:50 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
What, no full body shot?! I am disappointed. I'm sure some pics will arise if they haven't already.
DementedSnake
July 17, 2011 at 11:03 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Watching now. I must say Matt, your outfit wasn't in the slightest bit sexy, but it didn't look bad. You pulled it off. Kudos for that, and kudos for going through with it so wholeheartedly. But Jeff seems to be avoiding looking at you. Was he uncomfortable at first?
barefoot hiker
July 18, 2011 at 6:52 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Offer to dress as Tarzan next time. A couple yards of leopard print and peach-coloured underwear and you're done.
Though you might get mistaken for one of the Flintstones…
John K.
July 18, 2011 at 10:50 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I would just like to endorse the same handling of Charlie on all of his future call ins. Way to quickly cut to the meat of what is wrong with the way he is thinking, by the way. Well done.Of course, if he had anything different to say it might have been more difficult.
Ing
July 18, 2011 at 12:00 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Quick thought on the caller who was arguing that his religion lead to his psychotic episode. I think the story may have a good-point which he didn't make. What he said was wrong as the hosts pointed out, but if he was arguing (which he may have and was too emotional to parse it) that because of his religion he interpreted a audio hallucination/ suicidal urge as a real experience. I think he was getting at that if it wasn't for the religion primer, such an event (the thought of suicide popping into your head, or a voice talking to you) would have been recognized by him as a sign of a problem, not as a real event. I'm not sure if it's how it works but one might think that if one got an order to kill yourself from God that'd have more weight than one from Ronald McDonald. On the other hand, it may be that in that sort of mind part of the delusion might be not realizing that the symptoms of the disorder are odd. I'm remembering of all things, an episode of Bones, where Booth was unknownst to him suffering from a brain tumor which caused him to have hallucinations of talking to a dead friend…and Stewie from Family Guy. It was actually interesting that in the show no one took the tale of a ghostly encounter as signs of a problem…but immediately recognized the other delusion as a big flashing red flag
Chriss Pagani
July 18, 2011 at 2:44 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I'd really LOVE to give you a makeover.
Makeup needs better blending and a bit more strategic usage. We need better hair, too – but it's all very fixable. With a little training you could be hot.
nude0007
July 18, 2011 at 4:57 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Recommendation: be a bit quicker to point callers to websites detailing info on those "big" questions or lengthy discussions. I also think u gave the guy with the mental problems too much time. U guys r to polite sometimes.I see u r gettin better at catchin Charlie, but he still got thru twice. It must be harder for u guys to hear the callers, cause I had him pegged in a few seconds.
L
July 18, 2011 at 9:48 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Slight criticism. I know the point wasn't intended but the concession to charlie that gender roles are good for heterosexuals is false…as Matt had said earlier in the show. It's not beneficial for heterosexuals who do not fit into the pre-set gender roles. If you listen to Dan Savage he had a caller a while ago who was a straight but feminine man who was having trouble due to social expectations.
JT
July 19, 2011 at 10:42 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I see u r gettin better at catchin Charlie, but he still got thru twice. It must be harder for u guys to hear the callers, cause I had him pegged in a few seconds.There isn't much they can do outside of blanket reject anyone who sounds like a black male. Professionally, they can only go based on content, which takes some time to get to.
Ing
July 19, 2011 at 11:35 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@JTYou could have a filter by asking them to define straw man fallacy.
JT
July 19, 2011 at 1:05 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
"Welcome to the Atheist Experience. Before we begin, we have some questions we'd like to ask you."1) How do you pronounce "hypothesis"?2) What is a straw man fallacy?3) What is a faulty analogy fallacy?4) Please say "I love gays"I think we'd pretty much weed out all the theist callers, though.
Allison
July 19, 2011 at 9:03 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wow dude you really went all out!
Kol
July 19, 2011 at 9:53 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I was expecting a lot of clowning around.I was surprised when Matt and Jeff continued to look reality straight in the eye regardless of the circumstances.Props to you, Jeff, for telling others how it feels to shift from "knowing" to "comprehending".Matt: natural beard growth. Start the clock and let the bets begin!
wpnex
July 27, 2011 at 12:42 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Did anyone notice that the caller who said he was BOB sounded a lot like Mark from Austin Stone?