Jul 06 2010

There simply are not words for how creepy this is

(Long, awkward silence…)

Well, I suppose something like this shouldn’t be surprising, offered on a website called CatholicShopper.com. (Oh snap…!)


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  1. 1
    George From NY

    The first person to quote Matthew 19:14 will be shot. Thank you.

  2. 2

    Jesercize. Apparently built in the image of leg warmers and spandex. All the while listening to Let's Get Physical on repeat. Horrifying.

  3. 3

    No words at all. My mom has a Saint Cecelia (saint of music I believe… mom is a church musician) figure in faux white marble. The figure is lying on a slab, her throat cut. I just stand and look at that thing and am amazed at how she believes this is "normal." It just creeps me out.

  4. 4

    At first I couldn't pull that up because I typed in catholicwhopper.com… which fortuitously appears to be an available domain name!

  5. 5


  6. 6

    Wow, I laughed so much when I saw this. It's horrible, I know, but the fact that someone made this thing is hilarious to me. It reminds of of that old Sunday school song:"Jesus loves the little children…"

  7. 7
    Mark B

    The "EWWWWW" topic is filling up nicely.I was thrilled to see martial arts statues. I was hoping to see kids actually sparring with Jesus, maybe landing a side-kick into the ol' Loaves and Fishes, but no.Your arms aren't long enough to box with the Lord.

  8. 8

    While i agree it is creepy, it kinda saddens me that we live in a society where seeing a grown man play with children is 'creepy'.

  9. 9

    Come on Martin……..It could be creepier…..JC doesn't look to have a woody on, for example!!

  10. 10

    I suppose that this thing must have its own, incredibly important and irreplaceable place in "GOD'S GREAT PLAN" (whatever that is), therefore is good and shouldn't be made fun of. I mean, there is no such thing as a crocoduck, and that proves my point. And the existence of the Christian's God, who, in His immeasurable mercy, created this artifact for the joy and happiness of mankind.Sorry, bizarre things tend to have a bizarre effect on me… Are there people, who actually buy these?

  11. 11
  12. 12

    The creepiest one is the light switch plate where Jeebus has his arms around two kids, and the switch is strategically placed….http://veganfishtacos.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/jesuswhat.jpgMake sure you turn Jeebus on kids!

  13. 13

    Well hey, it's better than the crucifix thingy…. er… wait a minute….. hmm… Yeah, never mind. Can we have the crucifix thingy back, please?L

  14. 14

    Assuming those are the same characters as every other figure on that page, one of those is a boy…oh right, catholic.

  15. 15
    Dave from canada

    I'm shocked that THIS statuette is not shown instead. Since it shows jesus ogling a small boy, it is much more catholic.http://catholicshopper.com/products/media/DE_3982.jpg

  16. 16
  17. 17

    @BronoTrue, it's sad when any adult spending time with a kid is automatically assumed to be the worst; but remember what character we're dealing with here. He's the mascot for all forms of christianity (which I say includes catholics), and with the history of events surrounding certain christian instituions and children…

  18. 18

    Yes, it's creepy, but the baseball and golf statues offered from the same site are just as bad if not worse.

  19. 19

    looks like jesus's 2nd coming………………………………

  20. 20

    The Italian judge gave this a 9.8There's another one for skiing.Jesus is coming back shushing down the slopes.They need one for figure skating.Jesus on ice!

  21. 21
    Jon Moles

    You guys are not being fair. Jesus has no higher rate of pedophilia than other messiahs.Actually, JC was taking time out from invisible walking on the beach to teach Tumbling 101 at the local YWCA. See, perfectly innocent.

  22. 22
    Kansas Humanist

    Thanks for the great gift idea. We have friends with a little girl who is into dancing and gymanstics. She also developed an imaginary little girl friend. the negihbors are fundigelicals whose kids talk abut Jesus (also invisible.) As a result, our friends little girl added another imaginary friend to her other one — named Jesus. This statute is a perfect picture of the three of them, something conventional cameras have not been able to detect or record.

  23. 23

    I can't help but notice that it is creepy in an heterosexual way.

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