Hypothetical nondenominational new agey theist caller: “Don’t you understand, God is the energy in the universe.”
Russell: “Do you measure him in joules or calories?”
Jan 06 2010
Came up with a one-liner, now I’m just waiting for an opportunity
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Leah
January 6, 2010 at 5:23 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Now I'm waiting for an opportunity to use that one. That's awesome!
George From NY
January 6, 2010 at 8:14 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Oh sure, go ahead and blame the joules. Racist!;)
channel lox
January 6, 2010 at 8:19 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
1.21 gigawatts!
Andy
January 6, 2010 at 8:50 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
You know what they say about empty calories.
dreamking00
January 6, 2010 at 9:40 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
reminds me of an episode the Skeptoid podcast did on New Age "energy."
Curt Cameron
January 6, 2010 at 11:46 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
channel lox wrote:"1.21 gigawatts!"Uh, that's power. How about this: 1.21 gigawatt-hours!
Guillaume
January 7, 2010 at 3:56 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Good one. In the meantime, maybe I'll start worshipping the pasta I'll have tonight. Transsubstantiation is now clear to me.
Zachariah
January 7, 2010 at 6:48 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Does that mean God is responsible for our current energy crisis?
Watoosh
January 7, 2010 at 6:57 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I came up with another retort: "If God is the energy in the universe, does that mean that the Devil is dark energy?"
Mark B
January 7, 2010 at 7:11 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Russell: "Do you measure him in joules or calories?"More to the point; Do you measure it at all?
David Buck
January 7, 2010 at 7:57 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Is that kinetic energy or potential energy?
DavidCT
January 7, 2010 at 11:24 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
After recently looking at the bible if you were to convert that god energy to matter, all you would get would be a turd.How can people believe in this crap?
Thomas
January 7, 2010 at 11:25 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Hypothetical Caller: God is loveTom: So, I can't give you any money. It's illegal to pay for love.
pdrap
January 7, 2010 at 12:16 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I prefer SI units, so joules it is.
kopd
January 7, 2010 at 1:02 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
If I recall correctly, the net energy of the universe is 0. Therefore God is nothing.
Pilot Darren
January 7, 2010 at 1:15 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Guillaume,What kind of pasta is it??? And can it fly???
Nathan Dickey: Journeyman Heretic
January 7, 2010 at 2:59 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Great retort! Although I now harbor a suspicion that some 'prank' callers will attempt to actually use that hypothetical claim just to hear you say it.
Wasder
January 7, 2010 at 4:00 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I think they should ban praying in public pools, then. No one would want to get electrocuted like that.
Pilot Darren
January 7, 2010 at 11:27 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Despite the fact that I was pulling for UT this evening in the national championship game, I couldn't help but pass this one up…I guess colt mccoy _really_ is second!http://www.iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Colt_McCoy/i'm sorry
George From NY
January 8, 2010 at 1:45 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
"I think they should ban praying in public pools, then. No one would want to get electrocuted like that."Deus volt, eh?(YES! Yes, I actually made that joke. I regret nothing.)
Guillaume
January 8, 2010 at 3:35 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@darren-No, but it can stick to the wall when al dente. Hey, I think I've got my trinity: raw, al dente and cooked.If God is energy, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster is surely the one true god. Hallelujah!
Michael Kingsford Gray
January 8, 2010 at 4:31 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I have an Erg…
Huxley
January 8, 2010 at 8:01 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Awesome, a god which grows more impotent over time. That second law of thermodynamics is a bitch.
Ing
January 8, 2010 at 10:12 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@DavidTCThat is actually fairly significant. You can get a decent amount of work harnessed by combusting fecal matter.
Guillaume
January 8, 2010 at 3:20 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@Ing-Are you saying that God is full of shit? Or shit is full of God?I had gnocchi tonight. Is God in there too? And does transsubstantiation work with beer as well as with wine?
Feasul
January 8, 2010 at 8:51 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@Watoosh: "I came up with another retort: "If God is the energy in the universe, does that mean that the Devil is dark energy?""Well, since Dark Energy outweighs everything else in the Universe, at least that would answer the problem of evil.
Ing
January 9, 2010 at 12:51 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
"beer as well as with wine?"That depends on whether the transub phenomena is contingent on alcohol or grapes. Either way more study is needed.