Sep 12 2009

We get email, WTF edition

A charming fellow called Augusto sent us two of these thought-provoking missives, actually. This one is the more coherent of the two.

Just remember that atheism and materialism killed much more people than any cruzade before. Any. Atheism killed trillions, crusades was a joke. Fuck Mao tse tung, Stalin, Hitler, CIA.

Atheism and materialism killed billions in a curtain space of time than any cruzade before.

That’s why atheists think that they are inteligent plaiyng chess – the criminal game for idiots who whant power. Kids play always chess because they have no brain, only ambition. Atheists never gonne out. Nor in.

Atheism and materialism killed much more people than any cruzade before.

Atheism and materialism killed billions, crusades a few, compared to atheist hate.

Atheism and materialism killed much more people than any cruzade before.

I have fear of atheism because atheism is fear, they use psychiatry and psychology to demonstrate theyr kid power, to control population to theyr chess game.

I love jesus christ because he is my friend.

Grow up and became FREE


Jesus, you really ought to screen your friends better.


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  1. 1

    When he said psychology and psychiatry, I thought maybe he was a Scientologist, but then came the Jesus.Oh well.

  2. 2

    "Jesus, you really ought to screen your friends better."That's the first thought of any Pharisee.

  3. 3
    Transplanted Lawyer

    I don't think you get it. This isn't a real e-mail. It's poetry.

  4. 4
    Matto the Hun

    Shit, He's on to us!we are undone!

  5. 5
    Billy Deaton

    Wow, that felt like reading song lyrics. I can't help but fantasize about incorporating that into a performance art piece.

  6. 6

    I think the poor boy has a point – I love chess!

  7. 7
    Stewart Gray

    The population has never been anywhere near 1 trillion. I think you may be right, Transplanted Lawyer.

  8. 8

    I wish John Adams would set this to music. It might even be an opera. It is truly epic in scope. Cruzade? yes!

  9. 9

    Yep. The Laward must really love stupid people, cuz he shore made a bunch of em!LS

  10. 10

    He's on to us! We would be threatened but thank goodness that those who oppuse us, THE EVIL LEAGUE OF EVIL, are so dang stupid.

  11. 11

    C'mon you guys, give Augusto a break — he's clearly working with English as a second language. You have to admit, even if he is merely plagiarizing Ben Stein here, the main idea he expressed in his letter was absolutely crystal clear……that believing in God makes you a mentally incompetent lunatic.

  12. 12

    I give it 0.8 TimeCubes.

  13. 13
    Michael Kingsford Gray

    Wow!This is the most coherent thing that I have heard from a theist in quite a while.

  14. 14

    That made no sense at all.What the hell is a "Jesus"?

  15. 15
    Armand K.

    This must be some coded message—nobody's spelling can be that atrocious.And a second thought: maybe by 'trillion' he meant a million million millions, not merely a million millions… Err, never mind…

  16. 16

    If God existed, why would he want to be worshipped by such idiots?

  17. 17

    @Makarios-"That's the first thought of any Pharisee."Well, the Pharisees have been pictured in a bad light in the Gospels because they were intellectual adversaries of Jesus, that does not make them more wrong than Jesus, but in any case, Martin has a fair point: why are there so many inarticulate, ignorant, stupid worshippers? The very accusations Augusto makes, as well as the insulting tone of the whole piece shows that stupidity can also sometimes be immoral. Clearly, such a trashy email does not make Augusto's faith very appealing to the heatens like me.And I know a lot of good willed, decent simpletons, who often do believe in God, but that does not make them right. Augusto is more of a devout, nasty imbecile and I hope you Christians educate him a bit to develop his mind (he might not be so stupid afterwards, but I might be naïve), and in the meantime teach him some manners. There is nothing moral or admirable about ignorance, especially when it is so spiteful.

  18. 18

    You know, it almost reads like a poem."Atheism and materialism killed much more people than any cruzade before."This line is repeated many many times with slight variation. For this reason I think this is either a poe or an actual crazy person writing you from behind padded walls.

  19. 19

    Atheism and materialism killed billions in a curtain space of time than any cruzade before.Atheists are so evil, even our curtains are weapons of mass destruction!

  20. 20
    Jennifer Juniper

    WTF is right! Wow! Unreal!

  21. 21

    Well, he's right about one thing… Chess DOES suck. ;)

  22. 22

    This absolutely convinced me. I'm a theist now! JESUS, SAVE ME!

  23. 23

    Has to be poe… It just has to be a poe… PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A POE!

  24. 24
    Robert Morane

    Atheism and materialism killed billions in a curtain space of time than any cruzade before.Well, now you have a good reason to not mess with us.Plus, our "curtain space of time" is infinite — therefore my car is blue. There, take that!

  25. 25
    Corey Parker

    @GeorgeFromNYThem's fightin' words, boy.

  26. 26

    @minus:Oliver! Grease! Hair!Tommy!Cruzade!yep, it's perfect rock opera material.

  27. 27

    Someone absolutely MUST break the Augusto Code . . . it may provide the location of the Ark of his Cerebellum. Also, now will have Ozzy's classic ringing in my ears "Cruzade Train!!"

  28. 28

    Fools. FOOLS!This is EXACTLY what EvilOneSpiritRealmDevilSatan warned us about! Glenn Moon was right!

  29. 29

    These look like they could be song lyrics… my question is, to which tune should we sing along?

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