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Sep 02 2009

The Worldview Wackaloons are coming to Austin

Not like I’m going. I mean, part of me thinks, from a journalistic standpoint, it would be an intriguingly revealing peek into the mindset (generously assuming there will be minds present at all) of the mad. But then the idea of being bombarded with that much 50-kiloton thermostupid all at once is simply more than I can bear. Still, Brannon Howse and his big Christian Clown Car will be here on September 13, offering us an eye into the alternate universe he inhabits between his ears, of which the following topic list is representative.

How This Happened to America, Where We Are Going and The Biblical Response; How This Can Be The Greatest Hour For the American Church; How to Prepare the Remnant For What is Coming; The Worldviews and People Destroying America From the Grave and How Every Teen and Adult Must Respond To Be Protected; Refuting Evolution; What Happened to the Dinosaurs; The Impact of Evolution on America; Political Correctness is Cultural Marxism; How to Contend For The Faith in the 21st Century; Why Oprah’s Pagan Spirituality is Doubling in America Every Eighteen Months and a Christian Response; Why Worldview Training Matters and Students Want it; What The Bible Has to Say About The Coming One-World Religion, One-World Economy and Global Governance.

If that isn’t a concentrated spasm of atavistic “Mommy help me the monster is under the bed!” terror, I don’t know what is. Surprising that he left out anything about teh gayz, but maybe one of them will remember before the big tour begins.

I mean, I’d consider covering this for the blog and TV show, you know, but seriously, the amount of abuse my poor brain would endure would make me insist that, I dunno, every AXP reader send me $100 for medical expenses or something. So I guess we’re left to our imaginations, which, even at their wildest, I’m sure would not be the equal to the parade of delusion these rallies will exhibit!

7 comments

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  1. 1
    Jennifer Juniper

    O_O Scary!

  2. 2
    Jeremy

    I have to admit that I agree with them that there is a danger coming from Oprah, but I highly doubt it is for the same reasons.

  3. 3
    Keth

    I would like to hear what this guy has to say about "refuting evolution" and about its "impact" on America. I dont know if it would be as painful to sit thru something like this event as it was to try and sit thru all of Jesus Camp. XD

  4. 4
    Guillaume

    I always wonder, since they are so eager to refutate evolution, why don't they try to refute the Earth's rotation and its spherical shape? Clearly, the modern conception contradicts whatever the Bible says: Christ saw the whole world from the top of a mountain when he was tempted by Satan, the angels go down from heaven and back on a scale in the OT, everything in the Bible regarding Earth indicates it is flat. And whatever astronomers and scientists say, come on, any normal person can tell that a sphere in constant motion would make everybody on it travel sick! Not to mention that they would be moving against their will from a point to another, getting back to their starting point in a year. Clearly the Earth is flat and motionless and everything revolves around it.

  5. 5
    Ing

    I've always wondered how much these people would even have heard about evolution if it didn't contradict their bible. I mean there are a plethora of other scientific models and theories that seem to marginalize and disprove the biblical literal gods, but most Christians haven't even heard of them much less understand them.

  6. 6
    Guillaume

    True, evolution is but one thing that contradicts the Bible. I guess fundies focus on that because: 1)it touches the origin of mankind and its nature. 2)It would be simply impossible to contradict geography, history, astronomy, etc. We now know that the Gospels were wrong about the Parousia (supposed to happened before the end of the generation of jesus), just like we know the Bible was wrong about perceiving the Earth as flat. Strangely, they don't bother arguing about it.

  7. 7
    Ing

    Hell, does not the physics of string and super string defy Christian theology? That there is creation beyond the universe we observe?

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