No crazy like the real crazy

Ah well. It appears that, despite a brave showing by Frikle, the votes are in, and no one can quite write like allexus8 except allexus8. Who, by the way, seems to have been mum since that old pedo Tony or Bernie or whatever his name is had the book thrown at him, and is on his way to live out the rest of his natural life as a tenant of the federal government. Too bad, Frikle, because you know, I had worked out a truly amazing prize for the winner, and…well… Hey, at least all the entrants gave us a hearty laugh at the end of a long day, right, gang?

Now let’s enjoy our latest crazy email, just arrived today. Poe or Noe? We report, you decide.

I have been watching your tv show for quite a bit now, and i believe you have the right to express your belief how ever you want, so do i! i wish i could talk to you online but i can’t for some reasons. My question is, why you always make negative comments about Jesus Christ and not other Gods. there is only 2 ways, DARKNESS OR LIGhT,and the light is Jesus and the darkness is seton. Sometimes you seem to belief there is God and sometimes you don’t, i believe deep down in your heart you know God exists which is Jesus Christ who died for you on the cross for all your sins, and you know the Bible is true, but you can’t stand it. the bible says on 2 Timothy, ch4:2 preach the word be instant in season, out of reprove, exhrot with all longsuffering and doctrine. for the time will come when they will not endore sound Doctrine;but after their own lust shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears, and they shall turn their ears from the truth, and they shall turned upto fables.” there are many verses in the Bible that i can quote for you but i bet you know them very well, maybe more than anybody else. to be honest with you i’m not a preacher or anything like that I’m a born again chrisian, who believes in God(Jesus Christ)that Jesus died for my sins and raised up from the dead on the third day. because with my God there is no complication, Jesus said on john 8:12 “I’m the light of the world:he who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” seton is complication who decieves many in false doctrines and lies, and lead many in darkness so they can’t see the where they’re goin or what they’re doin, who want that?!? I don’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could make this stuff up, people. Anyway, Matt replied glibly that he’d never heard of “seton,” which prompted this deft comeback:

when i say seton, i meant the fallen angel, demon, and the one who work in darkness. lets be mature.

Oh yes. Let’s. Uh, “lets.”

Open thread on Thunderf00t vs. Ray Comfort

A lot of people are emailing us to let us know that the big debate is up on YouTube. Here’s part one, and you can follow up on the rest yourself.

I’m opening it up to comments because I know you’re all dying to discuss their respective performances. I will probably contribute my own impressions later. I do have some, but I don’t want this post to be simply “Russell’s opinion of the debate.”

Toodles, Tony!

And…it’s convictions on all ten counts for pedophile cult leader Tony Alamo! Naturally, his response is the typical self-aggrandizement of the pathologically narcissistic. “I’m just another one of the prophets who went to jail for the Gospel.” Some “prophet”; he couldn’t even prophesy his own fate. No, Tony — or Bernie, I mean — you’re just another one of the perverts who went to jail for porking little kids.

So, to complete our celebration of Alamo’s downfall, I guess it’s time now to pick our winners in the “Can you write like allexus8?” contest. So…below are the links to the entries, and in the sidebar is the poll to vote, which will only be open 5 days. (There is such a thing as flogging a joke to death.) Have fun, and maybe, in five days, I’ll have thought of a prize. Unless allexus8 wins. You’ve already got your prize, haven’t you?

The entrants are… (feel free to imagine a drum roll here, if you want to play this out to full cheese effect)


Something distresses me about this photo of Alamo. I’m sure the resemblance to our very own beloved John Iacoletti is totally coincidental.

Atheist Alliance International – Epic Fail

Atheist Alliance International will be giving this year’s Richard Dawkins award to Bill Maher…and some people, including me, are pretty annoyed.

PZ Myers has weighed in and this is one of the rare times when I find myself in disagreement with him.

According to AAI (emphasis mine):

The Richard Dawkins Award will be given every year to honor an outstanding atheist whose contributions raise public awareness of the nontheist life stance; who through writings, media, the arts, film, and/or the stage advocates increased scientific knowledge; who through work or by example teaches acceptance of the nontheist philosophy; and whose public posture mirrors the uncompromising nontheist life stance of Dr. Richard Dawkins.

I stopped by the AAI convention page and used their contact form to send the following:

Setting aside his anti-science views on health and vaccination, I fail to see how Maher qualifies for the RDA. He’s repeatedly stated that he’s not an atheist, implicitly or explicitly asserting that atheism is as dogmatic and irrational as the organized religions he rejects – while stating clearly that he believes in a god, but not religion. His movie, while funny and popular, did not treat the subject fairly and did not promote atheism, rational thought or science, it was an amusing bit of ‘let’s poke fun at religious people’. While I enjoyed it, recommended it and would like to see more of it (and even see the film awarded), Maher does not deserve the RDA and it is an embarrassment for a major atheist organization to honor him with this award. It cheapens the award, sullies the AAI reputation and is a slight to every outspoken atheist who continually strives to promote reason and nontheism.

If the AAI had a number of different awards, I’d have no objection to Bill Maher receiving one for ‘Best Movie’ (mostly because there really wasn’t any competition), but to give out a prestigious award to an anti-science, anti-atheism, anti-vaccination wack-a-loon simply because he is also anti-religion is an embarrassment. This award puts Bill Maher in the same category as Richard Dawkins, James Randi or Ayaan Hirsi Ali…and AAI doesn’t see a problem with this?

What sort of message does Bill Maher send to the world about the “nontheist life stance”? He may well send the message that we’re unscholarly, unscientific buffoons who make fun of religious people in order to make fun of religion, with no substantive points. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie and I enjoy ridiculing ideas that are deserving…but neither Maher’s movie, Religulous, nor his other media efforts have promoted science or advocated any sort of nontheist philosophy.

PZ is right, there is no atheist pope or dogmatic position and my opinion is my own. I like Bill Maher, despite disagreeing on a number of positions. I enjoy his shows, his stand-up and Religulous…but when it comes time to give out an award that amounts to ‘atheist of the year’, he wouldn’t make the list.

This isn’t just about disagreeing with him. I disagree with many of the recipients on many issues. Consider the following:

“”I’m not an atheist. There’s a really big difference between an atheist and someone who just doesn’t believe in religion. Religion to me is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need. But I’m not an atheist, no.” I believe there’s some force. If you want to call it God… I don’t believe God is a single parent who writes books. I think that the people who think God wrote a book called The Bible are just childish. Religion is so childish. What they’re fighting about in the Middle East, it’s so childish. These myths, these silly little stories that they believe in fundamentally, that they take over this little space in Jerusalem where one guy flew up to heaven–no, no, this guy performed a sacrifice here a thousand million years ago. It’s like, “Who cares? What does that have to do with spirituality, where you’re really trying to get, as a human being and as a soul moving in the universe?” But I do believe in a God, yes.” – Bill Maher, 2002

(For those who think his position has changed, feel free to watch Bill’s September, 2008 interview on the Daily Show. While promoting Religulous, he stated that he is not an atheist because he sees it as the mirror image of theism – a dogmatic certainty.)

I fail to see how this, in any way, “mirrors the uncompromising nontheist life stance of Dr. Richard Dawkins.”

Epic Fail.

Contest! Can you write like “allexus8″?

In celebration of the impending conviction of cult leader Tony Alamo on child-sex charges, I thought we’d host a little contest. I have no idea what the winner will get yet. Maybe I’ll think of something eventually, and I’m open to suggestions. “Your own child bride” is not an option, no.

I’m inspired by the remarkable writings of one of Tony Alamo’s followers, allexus8, who has turned up in the comments of the previous Alamo post to harangue us all in a manner that can only be compared to avant-garde, stream of consciousness (or semi-consciousness) free verse. Truly, it’s got to be read to be believed. Check the following exerpt, and see if you don’t agree that a unique and very special poetic voice is in our midst. Behold:

THE SECOND DEATH YOU LYING DOGS PIGS YOU CAN OINK OINK OINK ALL DAY ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT, OH YES TONY IS GOING UP TO THE BEAUTIFUL PLACE GOD GOT FOR THOSE THAT LOVE HIM. IN THE GOLDEN CITY WHERE GOD IS THE LIGHT.ALL THE LIES YOU TELLING ON TONY ALAMO IS ALL LIES TO SET HIM UP BECAUSE HE EXPOSE YOUR STINK ALL LYING MONSTROUS CULT YOU GONE STAY ATHEIST DEVIL YOU ALL ARE CHILD

Is that great, or is that, as Tony the Tiger might say, grrrrreat? Seriously, it’s like — oh, I dunno — e.e. cummings and Bukowski had a child or something, except they made damn sure it was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I bet allexus8 simply kills at open-mic slams.

My challenge to you, dear AXP readers, is to see if you can match allexus8′s literary gifts! Can you convey such emotion, such pathos, such an electrifying summation of the ennui of existence and the precarious, existential angst inherent in the human condition? Can you even come close to sounding so totally Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs? I know you’re a gifted bunch out there. Bring it! We’ll all work out whose entry we like the best later on.

(Yes, allexus8 can enter, too.)


For the record, if allexus8 is a Poe, he/she/it is the best one I’ve encountered so far. And if allexus8 is a genuine wackaloon, he/she/it is the best one I’ve encountered so far.

Vile child-rapist Tony Alamo is going down!

In the wake of recent, more interesting news, the child-sex trial of cult leader Tony Alamo — whose followers used to circulate his full-color newsletters under windshield wipers all around Austin and elsewhere — has been playing out largely under the radar. What stuns me about all of this is not just the ghastly spectacle of a senior citizen “marrying” little girls as young as eight or ten. It’s the way in which Alamo — or, shit, any authority figure at all — can exert such a powerful and hypnotic hold over his followers that the very parents of these little girls themselves became active participants in the violation of their children.

This is the authoritarianism of religion taken to its sickest inevitable extreme, and it illustrates the profound danger of accepting absolute authority as a concept in the first place. And I see this whole trial as a perfect chance to engage mainstream Christians, who, I suspect, would not hesitate to condemn Alamo’s actions in the strongest possible terms. Yes, what Alamo did to these girls is unspeakably appalling, no less so than that he justified it by claiming it’s what God wanted. But look at scripture, and you’ll see episodes of child abuse either directly prompted by divine command (Abe and Isaac) or carried out with tacit divine approval, such as the scene in Genesis 19 in which Lot offers his two virgin daughters to a lust-crazed mob (who, being gay, say no thanks).

Lot’s daughters don’t seem to have been all that offended at being offered as sexmeat by their father, since, later in the same chapter, they get him drunk and fuck him. Those biblical family values, I tell ya! Anyway, the point is: Is what Alamo did to children in the name of God any more reprehensible than what God either orders or tolerates seeing done to kids in the Bible, and the way their parents are so agreeable to it?

Yes, I repeat, we should ignore Ray

Recent comments in my previous post about Ray Comfort, the World’s Stupidest Christian™, keep explaining that’s he’s sufficiently funny in his stupidity that, well, taking him down is great sport. And then I’m pointed to his post today, in which he makes what I suspect he considers a brilliant “Gotcha!” point, the burden of which is that if atheists really don’t believe in God, then we have no business criticizing all the killing that occupies God’s time throughout so much of the Bible. After all, if we don’t believe God exists, then we also don’t believe he did any of that killing, so why get our panties in a twist about killings that never really occurred, eh?

See, gang, this is why Ray is the World’s Stupidest Christian™. He’s too limited between the ears to comprehend even the elementary distinction between believing or not believing in the existence of something, yet still condemning ideas on moral grounds, especially when those ideas are held to be true by roughly one-third of the Earth’s population. Christians plug their religion, among other ways, on the selling point that God is supposedly this being of transcendent love. John 3:16 and all that. Therefore, it is entirely justified for atheist critics of Christianity to point out instances of divine atrocities in the Bible (let alone the whole “and if you don’t love me back yer goin ta hell” thing), and note how these actions are not exactly consistent with statements you often hear from Christians like “God is love.” You’d think a 9-year-old could get that distinction, and you’d be right. Ray isn’t even that intelligent. Many atheists in Ray’s comments have already given the example of fiction: you can watch a movie and read a book, and understand that it’s all made up, and still hiss the villain.

So I repeat: we just should ignore this mentally constipated lackwit. I mean, come on, gang, how much more obvious does it need to be that he’s descended to sub-troll levels, and his whole shtick at this point is his getting the attention (which equates, in all three of his brain cells, to validation) of atheists. Hell, it’s why he renamed his blog “Atheist Central” from “Ray Comfort Food.” Have we all forgotten the meaning of the word flamebait?

Seriously, he’s useless, people. Find a better hobby.