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Aug 27 2007

Jesus thinks you suck too, dude

Scumsucking dogkiller Michael Vick gave the usual on-camera “apology” today for his nefarious affiliation and support of interstate dogfighting, which involved directly participating in the killing of several dogs by drowning, electrocution, and strangling.

Anyone wanna guess what he said once he was sure cameras and mics were rolling?

Anyone?

Ah, okay, I’ll tell you.

“Through this situation I’ve found Jesus,” he added. He vowed to redeem himself, saying, “I have to.”

Huh. Typical. Religion to the rescue again!

Sad thing is, that little quote will mollify a lot of people.

8 comments

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  1. 1
    PhillyChief

    Yup, once you sign on to the Jesus team, the slate is wiped clean. That’s the rule. Total crap.

  2. 2
    Chris the Heretic

    Seems like everyone “finds Jesus” when it comes to trying to look apologetic. It really comes down to three options:1) Jesus is mentally retarded and wanders off all the time so someone has to go and find him. Kinda slow for an all powerful deity…2) Jesus is playing a twisted game. “I’ll save you, but first you have to find me. So close your eyes and count to ten…”3) He doesn’t exist and disingenuous folks use him to invoke sympathy or to try and convey a sense of remorse.

  3. 3
    tracieh

    There is nothing Vic can say to convince me that he suddenly feels for the animals he harmed.He may mature in time, enough to grasp the magnitude of what he did; I’ve known people who talk with sincere regret about things they did without conscience in their pasts. But when you’d still be doing X, but for the fact you were caught and stopped–I just have trouble accepting that that equals a sincere, personal understanding of the magnitude of what you did.He might actually have some real remorse about all the people/fans/coworkers he let down. But I don’t think he feels at all for the animals he harmed–which is what freaked most people out.

  4. 4
    Martin

    He might actually have some real remorse about all the people/fans/coworkers he let down.Only inasmuch as they represent the $130+ million he just flushed down the commode.

  5. 5
    Chris

    I don’t know whats sadder:1) That a lot of people will accept this as some sort of sign of a sincere change. Afterall, Jebus is love and all that, and one who finds Jebus can’t be all bad.2) That these same people also seem to accept the unspoken prerequisite to this…that only somebody who hadn’t found Jebus could have done something like this.”He found Jebus? Well, that makes more sense! Of course he didn’t know it was wrong, he wasn’t a believer at the time! Well, he’s found him now, so…welcome to the flock, o’ Micky Vick”

  6. 6
    markiemark3030

    This might have been answered already, but has anyone else had problems with the latest podcast episode? The sound quality keeps going between barely audible and normal at different parts. It got to the point where I didn’t want to finish listening and turned it off.Thanks

  7. 7
    Davey G.

    Oh my, he found Jesus? Where was he?

  8. 8
    Paul

    Oh my, he found Jesus? Where was he?Stuck in the back of the shed, behind the electrocution gear, obviously.

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