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Jun 13 2007

Hovind’s descent into insanity is complete

Going, going, going….gone. Such is the state of Kent Hovind’s mind behind bars. His latest missive on the CSE blog is a bizarre script in which he imagines himself to be in a dialogue with God. This is perhaps the most detailed and explicit first-hand evidence we’ll ever get of the extent to which fundamentalist beliefs lead inexorably to actual, irreversible mental illness. Read this one little excerpt, and imagine blustery Terry Jones in the role of God, and a hapless Michael Palin as Kent. Remember, you gotta do the voices.

KH: Lord, I’m outside enjoying Your glorious sunshine on a gorgeous day in South Carolina. I really need the sunshine for my health. Thank you, Lord! What is my next assignment while I’m here?

GOD: One step at a time, son. I’ll guide you. What happened after lunch today?

KH: I was sitting in the sun writing to you and Don came over and sat down to talk. He sure was eager to learn about the Bible. He gladly asked You to forgive his sins and trusted You as Savior.

GOD: Yes, I was there with you. Don is twenty-seven years old. His life will do a complete 1800 turn during the next twenty months in prison. I have big plans for him, son. Thanks for being obedient to my leading, son. Sometimes, I have a hard time getting you to listen to me.

KH: I know, Lord. Sorry about that. I have another question, Lord. Why did you let them more me five hundred miles away from my family?

GOD: I know this is hard for you. How many men in there are away from their families?

KH: Nearly all of them, Lord. Some only see their family once a year—and some not at all. I know what you are going to say, Lord, that now I know how they feel and can be a better witness to them, right?

GOD: Very good, son. You are starting to get the picture!

KH: But, Lord, five hundred miles away?

GOD: You are still in America, son. Would you prefer…Siberia?

KH: Oh, no, South Carolina is just fine! Hey, Lord, why did you let me slip on those steps in Atlanta and bruise my ankle so badly?

GOD: I needed you to see the new prison doctor that just came from India. He knows almost nothing about Me, son. I know you didn’t have much time with him, but you did tell him about your Website. He will look at it and read the “How To Be Saved” article. That will start him on the road to salvation later this year.

I’m sorry about the bruise, but you can’t see the doctor in there unless you are hurt. Would you rather I break it next time—or bruise your head?

KH: No, Lord! The ankle was a great idea.

I guess it was obvious to God that Kent’s head has already taken a little too much damage!

9 comments

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  1. 1
    AmberKatt

    What amazes me about fundie “witnessing” and salvation essays (I hate to even use that word for such drivel) is the 1st Grade Reading Primer level of the way they write such things. They are written at the level of Chick tracts, fer pete’s sake!”His life will do a complete 1800 turn during the next twenty months in prison.“So accepting Jesus causes a person to spin around and around and around until they are too dizzy to function? *snerk*I said it earlier — this guy thinks he’s the next Paul of Tarsus, writing the Epistles to the Whatevers while he’s languishing in the Roman prisons.

  2. 2
    Joe Blow

    and what’s wrong with CHICK TRACTS?

  3. 3
    Martin

    Love ‘em myself!

  4. 4
    Atheist in a mini van.

    As Jon Levitz says in “The Wedding Singer” – “He’s losing his mind…”

  5. 5
    Andrew

    Isnt it a 180? not 1800… I don’t know if this was a trascription error or just how stupid KH really is (I can’t seem to access his blog to check).

  6. 6
    The Anti Atheist

    Although Hovind committed a crime, I think the post and comments show that this is what atheists want for all Christians, especially when I note all the glee shown on various atheist sites at the idea of a man in one of Americas oppressive prisons.Yes, we have more people in prison on a per capita basis than just about any country on earth, and they are pretty brutal.Of course, when atheists get control, prison…called fondly Gulags in some places…is where they send believers for all kinds of reasons.Like mentioning God.Yep, you arrogant elitists…after all, you are better than all those scum believers…are telling us more than you realize.Moderate that.

  7. 7
    Martin

    Although Hovind committed a crime, I think the post and comments show that this is what atheists want for all ChristiansWell, there’s a good reason you think that: you’re unintelligent.Hovind has not been sent to prison for mentioning your imaginary friend. He’s been sent to prison for breaking numerous tax laws. Apart from (reportedly) being put in solitary confinement, he hasn’t been brutalized, though his whiny “waah we’re such victims” sycophants try to portray it as such.Hovind has been a liar, con man, and hypocrite. He’s getting his just desserts. Nothing here has been written to indicate that we hope his fate befalls all Christians, and in saying we feel that way, you’re engaging in a common fundamentalist tactic called “lying.” I suppose it’s an easy thing to do when you live a life based on deliberate reality-denial.Of course, when atheists get control, prison…called fondly Gulags in some places…is where they send believers for all kinds of reasons.The difference between Eastern communist totalitarianism and western Enlightenment-based atheism has been explained here many times. That you won’t read and understand those explanations demonstrates just who in this discussion is full of anger and hate. Not to mention dishonesty.So consider yourself moderated, bitch.

  8. 8
    Strappado

    1800 most likely equals 180°.Hand writing is getting worse too, I bet.

  9. 9
    VladTheImpala

    Damn. I wanted to rebut AA…but Martin did it better than I would’ve. Xians hate it when we make generalities based on whatever group they’re not (ie if they’re not fundies…or not the same brand of fundie). But they LOVE to equate atheism with Stalinist totalitarianism. Or Hitler, tho he was religious. In a theocracy, dissent/”wrong beliefs” might be criminal. In a secular state…hey, we’re IN a secular state (so far). And, while disbelieving may not be criminal, it’s marginalized. When will they get it? WE’re the rational ones.

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