The Onion’s version of Intelligent Design

Last week on the show I talked about the notion that the new creationist tactic is to say they “believe in evolution” but describe a warped notion of evolution that is essentially indistinguishable from creationism. Closely related is the Intelligent Design technique of mostly accepting the science behind evolution but then insisting that some particular gap needs to be filled in by God.

This week The Onion takes up that theme with I Believe In Evolution, Except For The Whole Triassic Period.


“In fact, scientific reasoning can explain nearly every stage of life from the Big Bang to the present day. I say “nearly” because the period that scientists claim lasted from roughly 205 to 250 million years ago, commonly known as the Triassic period, was quite obviously the work of the Lord God Almighty.

“Think about it: I’m supposed to believe that the same process that we know slowly changed us from simple bacteria into highly advanced reptiles over the course of the Paleozoic era is also responsible for turning us into highly advanced reptiles with different body lengths? Do these people ever pause to think how ridiculous they sound as they advance these theories?”


  1. Derek says

    Remember the article they had a while back about schools rejecting the teaching of gravity in favor of “intelligent falling”?

  2. Anonymous says

    Isn’t the Onion a parody newszine? Are you complaining about the fake article referencing god?

  3. Martin says

    I think Kazim’s pointing out that the article is a funny satire of a particular type of silly creationist behavior.

  4. Anonymous says

    no it is real and true if you use your common sense and realize that maybe you do not have all the info

  5. Derek says

    Ooo… I’m all tingly. I feel a new storm coming. If storms are named in alphabetical order than we’re up to “F”. I suggest Fred; in honor of Monster Pig! Or Phelps, whatever. Making the progression Dan, Emanuel, Fred.

  6. hellboundsmoker says

    The Onion! Woot! R.I.P. Herbert “H-Dogg” Kronfeld. Stop the white-on-white violence!It may be completely unrelated, but I just wanted to say I love your show… you guys are the shizzle! You’ve probably heard it before, but them’s my two cents. Keep fighting the good fight! I’m hoping the crazy lady at the end of #503 calls back next time.Jon ‘Hellbound Smoker’ AdamsNew Zealand