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Right-wing Fighting Keyboardists and their manly power fantasies

In the race to the bottom to see who can be the worst douchebag to comment self-servingly on the tragedy at Virginia Tech, I present the National Review‘s John Derbyshire, who seems to think that, had he been present at the campus when the shooter went on his rampage, he wouldn’t have been one of those emasculated pussies running for their lives or diving under desks. No ma’am! He would have leapt into action, somersaulting over desks, dodging bullets in mid-air like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, and taken the fucking gook out with a solid one-two punch, after which he would have been hailed as the hero of the day, carried around on everyone’s shoulders, and every sorority girl, Hooters waitress and cheerleader for 100 miles around would have been lining up to ball him.

Where was the spirit of self-defense here? Setting aside the ludicrous campus ban on licensed conceals, why didn’t anyone rush the guy? It’s not like this was Rambo, hosing the place down with automatic weapons. He had two handguns for goodness’ sake—one of them reportedly a .22.

At the very least, count the shots and jump him reloading or changing hands. [Yeah, right, like everyone present would have known exactly what kind of gun he was firing and how many rounds it held.] Better yet, just jump him. Handguns aren’t very accurate, even at close range. I shoot mine all the time at the range, and I still can’t hit squat. I doubt this guy was any better than I am. [Yeah, well, he did kill 31 people, you shit.] And even if hit, a .22 needs to find something important to do real damage—your chances aren’t bad. [Yeah, well, he did kill 31 people!]

Yes, yes, I know it’s easy to say these things: but didn’t the heroes of Flight 93 teach us anything? As the cliche goes—and like most cliches. It’s true—none of us knows what he’d do in a dire situation like that. [But you're fine with judging them as cowards anyway.] I hope, however, that if I thought I was going to die anyway, I’d at least take a run at the guy.

Yeah, you hope, asshole. While you’re at it, just hope you’re never in the situation those students you mock were in, and that no one further insults their families and survivors as you have done by blaming them for their own senseless deaths.

Comments

  1. Pat Doyle says

    I have certain that we would acheive Glorious Victory in Iraq if only Derbyshire and all his brave warblogging compatriots would just sign up to fight over there.

  2. tracie harris says

    I’m unfamiliar with the National Review–and probably for good reason. But this article is nuts. It, literally, sounds like something an adolescent male would write 15 minutes after finishing a Kung Fu movie marathon. I’m having trouble believing an adult wrote this.Ironically, I have only been to a firing range once in my life–and I hit much more than “squat”; I did pretty well, with only a history of firing pellet and BB guns as a kid. I wouldn’t underestimate someone’s ability to “hit squat” as a rule. And in the campus situation at VT, I’d probably have been frozen stiff in fear and blind with panic. My admiration to any of those kids who were able to think clearly or act in a way that saved their lives or the lives of anyone else (like the professor who died barring the door for his students). That kind of self-sacrifice needs to be commended.

  3. says

    Hey, I’ve put up a new post about issues surrounding concealed carry laws on my blog, and I hope you’ll find it worth a look.And for Tracie, the National Review is an extremely neoconservative publication. It’s like the magazine equivalent of a right wing blog.

  4. Martin says

    I wouldn’t underestimate someone’s ability to “hit squat” as a rule.Well, you have to stand in awe of the logic of Derbyshire’s argument: “I’m a lousy shot, so handguns aren’t dangerous.”

  5. Andrew says

    Right on Martin!Sure, we would all like to think that we would have acted differently, but in all honesty almost everyone would act the same way as the victims.Look at the Pat Tillman mess. Pat was shot at by fucking ARMY RANGERS who were freaking out during their first firefight and failed to make positive ID before opening fire.If it can happen to a Ranger, it can happen to anyone. This VT shooter was shooting with both hands from what I understand, and unless a group of five to ten guys got together and bum rushed him, there is nothing anyone could do. And when everyone is running and screaming with gun shots going off, who is honestly think that straight?

  6. Anonymous says

    I for one wouldn’t look so much to gun control as the answer to the Va. Tech tragedy as I would to mental health and mental illness recognition and treatment in society. In the past in circumstances such as this, I’ve wondered why our society doesn’t seem to what to address mental illness and I think that, in part, it has a connection to religion. I’ve observed that the more highly religious people are the less they tend to think there is such a thing as mental illness — after all, if such violent and immoral behavior is a byproduct of DNA, biochemistry, etc., the less an individual is really a free moral agent. If you believe in an omnipotent, omni benevolent, omni present god, who looks to we humans as being the ones entirely responsible for our moral actions, then you probably are not very inclined to believe in mental illness. Aren’t there even passages in the Bible that might suggest to some people so inclined that mental illness is a product of being possessed by demons?So, if my theory has any validity, the more religious our society is, the less likely it is to look to humane treatment of mental illness such as led to this terrible tragedy.What do you think?

  7. tracie harris says

    >I’ve observed that the more highly religious people are the less they tend to think there is such a thing as mental illnessWhile I can’t say I know this applies as a general rule. I have certainly seen Xians who think god is the answer to someone suffering from depression. In fact, I’ve seen depressed people claiming god is all that is keeping them going.It’s sad because it only serves to undercut a person getting real help (in cases of real chemical imbalance) or finding any real internal strength or belief in themselves or their own ability (in cases where it might not be due to chemical imbalance).

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