In the race to the bottom to see who can be the worst douchebag to comment self-servingly on the tragedy at Virginia Tech, I present the National Review‘s John Derbyshire, who seems to think that, had he been present at the campus when the shooter went on his rampage, he wouldn’t have been one of those emasculated pussies running for their lives or diving under desks. No ma’am! He would have leapt into action, somersaulting over desks, dodging bullets in mid-air like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, and taken the fucking gook out with a solid one-two punch, after which he would have been hailed as the hero of the day, carried around on everyone’s shoulders, and every sorority girl, Hooters waitress and cheerleader for 100 miles around would have been lining up to ball him.
Where was the spirit of self-defense here? Setting aside the ludicrous campus ban on licensed conceals, why didn’t anyone rush the guy? It’s not like this was Rambo, hosing the place down with automatic weapons. He had two handguns for goodness’ sake—one of them reportedly a .22.
At the very least, count the shots and jump him reloading or changing hands. [Yeah, right, like everyone present would have known exactly what kind of gun he was firing and how many rounds it held.] Better yet, just jump him. Handguns aren’t very accurate, even at close range. I shoot mine all the time at the range, and I still can’t hit squat. I doubt this guy was any better than I am. [Yeah, well, he did kill 31 people, you shit.] And even if hit, a .22 needs to find something important to do real damage—your chances aren’t bad. [Yeah, well, he did kill 31 people!]
Yes, yes, I know it’s easy to say these things: but didn’t the heroes of Flight 93 teach us anything? As the cliche goes—and like most cliches. It’s true—none of us knows what he’d do in a dire situation like that. [But you're fine with judging them as cowards anyway.] I hope, however, that if I thought I was going to die anyway, I’d at least take a run at the guy.
Yeah, you hope, asshole. While you’re at it, just hope you’re never in the situation those students you mock were in, and that no one further insults their families and survivors as you have done by blaming them for their own senseless deaths.