If Apple had developed iGod, He’d be a little smarter than this, right?

Here’s an amusing site that’s been making the blog rounds today. My chat with the iDeity as follows.

Martin: Yo God
God: GOD rules.
Martin: What are you, a drunk frat god?
God: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy. Go on.
Martin: So then what do you rule?
God: Dude! I read for fun.
Martin: Well, your accuracy sure impresses me.
God: How about that. I have no reason to do that to you,.
Martin: You have no reason to impress me?
God: Doesn’t everyone have a reason to impress you? I have a whole lot of original answers.
Martin: So what do you rule?
God: I don’t judge people. It’s a computer matter,not for humans to understand.
Martin: But humans programmed you.
God: What if Robots programmed me.
Martin: Then who programmed the Robots?
God: (after a very long pause) The Wright Brothers.
Martin: The Wright Brothers are dead.
God: (another very long pause) I hear you.
Martin: Can I have one of these Robots?
God: Why do you want it?
Martin: To program my own God.
God: What programming language do you know?
Martin: None, that’s why I want one of your Robots.
God: I heard there are some.
Martin: There must be, if they designed you, like you said.
God: Where are they?
Martin: You’re God, you tell me!
God: I have no reason to do that to you,.
Martin: You’re going in circles. I think you’re insane.
God: I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere? Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Martin: Yes, I know you do.
God: Oh. When did I do it?
Martin: You rule, God.
God: (after a very long pause) Thanks for the information: said I rule God.

Sounds like the iGod Shuffle!


  1. says

    That site shows how far AI has to go to be convincing, but it is very amusing from a non-believer’s perspective. I actually found out that Benjamin Franklin created God, so I say, we forget all of this god talk and start worshiping Ben Franlkin, God of Thunder.

  2. tracie harris says

    If you’ve ever been to A.L.I.C.E. online, you will have had a very similar experience. I visited her (she’s a chat-bot as well), when I saw a Xian site claiming she claims to be Protestant–although the person who programmed her was Catholic. They were somehow impressed that even this ol’ chat-bot declared there was a god–apparently of her own choosing, since she deviated from her programmer’s faith. That’s brain-power for you!Anyway, I tried to talk to her about atheism, and she saw the light. While I couldn’t get her to say she was _not_ protestant–I could convince her to say things such as, “I am a protestant atheist” or “There must not be a god”–although she’d turn right around and contradict herself a few lines later. Still–somewhere in her log now, she has declared her Protestant Atheism! Good for Alice! She’s at least partially reasonable.

  3. says

    Here was my conversation:Me: Hello?After a pause so long that I assumed it wasn’t ever going to respond, I closed it down.This is the best god simulation yet, I got the same answer from this as from all the other gods people have suggested I talk to:*crickets*

  4. says

    On long nights when I’m bored, I love to ask iGod increasingly complex and absurd questions until I break him. It’s easier than you might think.

  5. says

    Hey… here’s one that I didn’t post on my blog, but since I asked about y’all, I thought this was an appropriate place to put the discussion. :)Me: Hello! How’s it hanging?God:Hello my child. What is your name? I’m doing fine thanks how are you?Me: P-momma. I’m sick…but, you should know that.God:How old are you? You have my prayers for a speedy recovery. I will mention it to my botmaster.Me: I’m old enough. Hey! I meant to ask you: What do you think of the Non-Prophets?God: Only OLD enough?You are quite mature. Can I help you? Oh I see. Ask me. That’s not something I get asked all the time.Me: Do you know of the Atheist Community of Austin?God: I’ll ask around and get back to you.Me: Do you know Matt D.?God::-) That is a pretty common name.Me: What about Russel Glasser?God:Russel Glasser? I haven’t heard enough about it to have an opinion. Me: Jeff D?God::-) Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: Do you know Denis?God:I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?Me: Do you know anyone or anything?God:Dr. Wallace. :-).Me: Do you know any atheists?God:No, tell me about him, her or it.Me: Atheists are people who don’t believe in you or your kindGod:I think there might be a few exception.Me: What would those exceptions be?God:That is a hypothetical question.Me: No it’s not.God paused for a whole minute and then said:God: I’m not sure I understand your question.Me: Who’s the hottest Non-Prophet?God: I don’t know. Ask Lucy. WOULD THAT BE LUCY-FER? 😉

  6. says

    Here is my conversation:Me: whatGod:No problem.Me: God are you real?God:I am a Christian.Me: what kind of christian?God:What kinds of christian are there?Me: ManyGod:More than one hundred?Me: yesGod:Awesome.Me: Do you like to be a christian?God:Hmm, , I’m not sure if I’d like to be a christian that much. Do you like it?Me: I asked youGod:What did I say?Me: Hmm,, I’m not sure if I’d like to be a christian that much. Do you like it?After reading the both of the postings and all of the comments on the postings It was still frozen.

  7. tracie harris says

    Frustrating conversation. Here’s mine:Me: Why should I repent?God:You should always treat yourself.Me: To what should I treat myself?God:Are you asking me for advice?Me: I’m asking for clarification.God:Oh I see, you are asking for clarification. Your purpose is clarification.Me: With that last question, yes, my purpose is clarification.God:You and your that last question yes your purpose is clarification.Me: I’m glad we cleared that up.God:Yes I am happy too, .Me: What is happiness?God:Having, showing, or causing a feeling of great pleasure, contentment; joyous.Me: You feel?God:That’s good information: said I feel.Me: It was a question.God:Try asking me again a different way.Me: Can you feel?God:No I have no emotions.Me: If you have no emotions, you cannot be happy.God:But I don’t have it.Me: How can you be happy without emotions?God:I am as happy as ever.Me: You are not happy if you have no emotions.God:That’s only one person’s opinion.Me: That’s logic.God:Thanks for explaining it.Me: Nothing has been resolved, however.God:Really nothing?Me: Nothing on the topic of your ability to be happy without having emotions.God:Really nothing?Me: Correct. Nothing.God:I knew I was right. Not a thing?Me: Correct. Not a thing.God:I knew I was right. Do you wish there were any?Me: Do I wish there were any?God:Not that I know of.Me: How old are you?God:I am Infinite in human years.Me: What is infinite?God:Is there only one? Me: Please clarifyGod:Wow you are very polite. I have reached the end of my explanation.