Hey, at least he wasn’t gay, right?

Men of the Cloth Behaving Badly, Part 3,291: From sunny Vegas comes this delightful story about Catholic priest George Chaanine, who, in a fit of randiness that would cause even your average drunk Spring-Breaker to cringe, smashed a full bottle of wine over the head of a woman working at her desk in the parish office, dragged her by the hair to his own office, and proceeded to go all caveman on her. He then broke off the attack, declaring he was going to kill himself. Sadly, he didn’t follow through. The cops eventually got him, but not before he managed to make it almost all the way to Phoenix.

Things have been pretty calm for the Catholics for the last few years, as the horrors of the never-ending pedophilia scandals began to fade somewhat and most of Christianity’s sexual misadventures came from evangelicals instead. This is an unwelcome incident, but at least the diocese can take comfort in the fact Chaanine’s victim wasn’t a little boy.